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Old 08-25-2014, 10:26 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
5 posts, read 5,133 times
Reputation: 10

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Hi, this is my first post on this forum. I really have no where else to turn to ask for advice. I'm 21 and have been in college for the last 2.5 years. I'm about to graduate soon and will have my Associate's Degree in Business Administration Technology this December. My problem is that I've had this best friend for 7 or 8 years and we are really close. She's like my big sister and I am in no way attracted to her. We met in 9th grade, but we really didn't become close until out senior year of high school. We're really good friend's and we've only really argued about one think during our entire friendship. Insert the crazy dude.

First, let me start out by saying that I'm very overprotective over my best friend. I would die if anyone hurt her. My best friend has been in an on/off relationship with my cousin for the last 5 years or so. They break up, but they always get back together. Everyone knows she dates my cousin. I've known my best friend for 8 years(since 9th grade) and we are very close. It is this dude that likes her and I feel that he is very threatened by me. He said I'm trying to ****-block him and that if I wasn't so overprotective they would be together. He's known her for like a year and a half.

He is also mad because she really values my opinion. I'm one of the closet friends that she has. I hate him and she knows it. I refuse to let them be alone together. She told me that he creeped her out by touching her leg and stuff.

My friend told him she didn't like him, and only wanted to be friends. He went back and told EVERYONE they went together. He told us he gets a crazy cheque and disability because he hears voices and imaginary people talking to him. He is very obsessive over my friend. He has a little temper too. He basically told me that he wishes I would back off and that I'm irrelevant. Everyone around us can tell that my friend doesn't want him.

Friends that know me and her that meets the guy says something isn't right and that I'm right to be protective. My question is do I back off? Why is he so threatened over me? He stands outside in the parking lot in the heat, cold, and rain waiting for her to get out of class and he follows us everywhere we go on campus. He even waits outside of her classroom for her.
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Old 08-25-2014, 10:32 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 50,980,354 times
Reputation: 62660
I think you need to let your friend make her own choices about who she dates and who she doesn't date.
It doesn't matter why he feels threatened and no one is going to change that.
If your best friend doesn't want him she needs to tell him that and pursue whatever avenue has to be pursued to ensure he leaves her alone for good.

By the way you are not her Parents, siblings, guardian angel or appointed protector, she has to experience things on her own, make her own choices without your involvement or "protection" and learn the life lessons that are out there to be learned.
Otherwise she will not be able to stand up for herself and she will always be dependent on someone else to fight her battles for her.
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Old 08-25-2014, 10:35 PM
 
1,714 posts, read 1,748,676 times
Reputation: 1087
This isn't some guy your friend likes, this is someone she does not want to be with and is creeped out by, right? The guy seems to be stalking her and seems to have some "issues". Why would you back off?

We're really good friend's and we've only really argued about one think during our entire friendship. Insert the crazy dude.
Is your friend mad at you? Does she want you to back off? Is this what you are arguing about? To be honest I guess I'm not understanding why she would be mad at you for looking out for her when she is obviously creeped out by the stalker dude.

I think your friend needs to really be careful, and tell this guy to stop following her around.
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Old 08-25-2014, 10:37 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
5 posts, read 5,133 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleynj View Post
This isn't some guy your friend likes, this is someone she does not want to be with and is creeped out by, right? The guy seems to be stalking her and seems to have some "issues". Why would you back off?
I think your friend needs to really be careful, and tell this guy to stop following her around.
Why is he threatened by me, though? I'm the closest one to her. She told me not to back off. She likes that I look out for her. My best friend is attractive, but I've never been attracted to her. Plus she dates my cousin.
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Old 08-25-2014, 10:46 PM
 
1,714 posts, read 1,748,676 times
Reputation: 1087
Quote:
Originally Posted by jarrett178 View Post
Why is he threatened by me, though? I'm the closest one to her. She told me not to back off. She likes that I look out for her. My best friend is attractive, but I've never been attracted to her. Plus she dates my cousin.
Why do you care so much why he feels threatened? What does it matter?
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Old 08-25-2014, 10:47 PM
 
7,743 posts, read 15,807,787 times
Reputation: 10451
What does your cousin say?

As for your friend, she needs to stop indulging this guy. As in, NOT talk to him, be around him or acknowledge him. She will need to look into getting/starting up a RO and start establishing a history (a documental one) where it's clear he's stalking her. These are things that she needs to do herself.
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Old 08-25-2014, 10:49 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
5 posts, read 5,133 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleynj View Post
Why do you care so much why he feels threatened? What does it matter?
IDK. I think he's mad because he knows he can't get rid of me. I have him by the balls.

My friend will choose me over him if he really shows his tail.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post
What does your cousin say?
I told him that if he ever thought about hurting her that my cousin would kick his ass. He's scared of him.

He doesn't know my cousin, though. They've seen each other briefly, but never met.
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Old 08-25-2014, 10:53 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 50,980,354 times
Reputation: 62660
Quote:
Originally Posted by jarrett178 View Post
IDK. I think he's mad because he knows he can't get rid of me. I have him by the balls.

My friend will choose me over him if he really shows his tail.
So this really isn't about your friend and her well being,
it is all about
you
and what
you
can do to this guy and what
you
can prevent and what a good friend
you

are.
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Old 08-25-2014, 10:55 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
5 posts, read 5,133 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
So this really isn't about your friend and her well being,
it is all about
you
and what
you
can do to this guy and what
you
can prevent and what a good friend
you

are.
No, I didn't say that. I just wondered why he was threatened.
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Old 08-25-2014, 10:56 PM
 
1,714 posts, read 1,748,676 times
Reputation: 1087
Quote:
Originally Posted by jarrett178 View Post
IDK. I think he's mad because he knows he can't get rid of me. I have him by the balls.

My friend will choose me over him if he really shows his tail.
I am sure you care about your friend and are looking out for her (I guess), but it also sounds like you view this guy as some crazy competition, and are more concerned about the fact she is "choosing" you over him than the fact that your friend might be in danger.
If your friend does not like him and thinks he is creepy, then why would there even be a choice to be made? Your story just doesn't make sense, sorry.
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