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Old 08-30-2014, 10:54 PM
 
Location: Canada
3,872 posts, read 2,705,846 times
Reputation: 5055

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle242 View Post
My mother lives in Chicago suburbs, she is in early 60s and found her starting doing strange things. She pushes carts from grocery supermarkets to her home and when neighbors were upset she thought they were wrong. We were trying to tell her its inappropriate and its grocery's store property she shouldn't be taking out of parking lot, no mater how close or how soon she returns it back.
Your mother is in her 60s and has trouble carrying heavy groceries home on foot. That doesn't seem to concern you at all.

Buy her a foldable shopping cart. Problem solved!
Amazon.com: shopping cart: Home & Kitchen
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Old 08-30-2014, 10:56 PM
 
13,136 posts, read 20,702,481 times
Reputation: 35314
Surprise your mother with a grocery cart of her own. You can buy them on Amazon for less than $30.

She has the right to spend her money however she sees fit, whether you agree with her choices or not.

I'm not sure exactly what your complaints are, otherwise. Did you invite her out to do anything special?
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Old 08-31-2014, 12:08 AM
 
10,803 posts, read 8,014,824 times
Reputation: 16977
I'll be 66 next month. Your mother's sudden behavior changes might be cause for concern. I personally wouldn't take action at this point but if anything else comes up I'd discuss it with her physician and might even consider a neurological exam.
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Old 08-31-2014, 12:37 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 3,061,502 times
Reputation: 4285
my parents are elder than yours but they don't do such things. But elder sister of my father yes sounds very familiar what you say except the grocery cart. But this aunt was living all lone almost 20 years. And she did also gifting high expensive gifts to the neighbors grand son not her own grand son, when it comes to her own grand sons birthday she always empty pocket, calling abroad to ask some one is okay but her own son is living two cities away no single sound with asking if he is okay. I think it is being old.
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Old 08-31-2014, 06:18 AM
 
Location: Backwoods of Maine
7,098 posts, read 8,107,282 times
Reputation: 18713
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Early 60's seems young to be having cognitive problems, but who knows?
This is true. I am 67, wife is 65, and neither of us have such problems (but then, would we know it if we did LOL?)

I will tell you what happens after age 60. People (mostly) don't lose their marbles. But their philosophy of life definitely changes. All the "rules" that younger folks adhere to so strictly, go out the window. We can now see from experience that some "rules" are just ridiculous. There is a freedom that comes after 60! We also don't do a lot of "new" things that the youngsters of 20 and 30 figure are done by "everybody". How many seniors do you see texting and scrolling for hours on a smart phone? Some perhaps, but not many.

I will tell you what to look for with your mom, that don't have anything to do with philosophy of life, but could be dangerous for her: soiling herself, lack of good personal hygiene, changes in eating habits, neglect of old friends and family, can't keep the house clean/orderly, forgetful, bills going unpaid, mail going unread, or a change in personality to a more argumentative or disgruntled attitude. Pay attention to these.

If all she does is talk to herself when nobody's around...fergitaboutit. She's entitled!
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Old 08-31-2014, 06:28 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,258 posts, read 10,262,399 times
Reputation: 28192
Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle242 View Post
My mother lives in Chicago suburbs, she is in early 60s and found her starting doing strange things. She pushes carts from grocery supermarkets to her home and when neighbors were upset she thought they were wrong. We were trying to tell her its inappropriate and its grocery's store property she shouldn't be taking out of parking lot, no mater how close or how soon she returns it back.

Second, she sent for a weeding a far distant relative (godson) almost stranger to my family, neighbor's son weeding a huge gift value, more than she's ever given to me or my young nephews' any special occasion (i.e. xmas or birthday) during all years I lived that I remember. That godson live in another country and I think she did that so neighbors would not be rumoring that she gave not enough or something like that.

And when she revealed about gift, she did it when talking on phone and I overheard she did not try to even talk about money related details in private. I just came here for 1 week visit for vacation after 1 year after I moved to California to start building new life when previously I lost my job. I have my new job there and I am growing there. I was myself for past previous days myself to downtown to have fun by myself or with friends. On days I stayed in suburbs to spend time with my family they "hired" me to help with errands, like repair computer, even like chauffeuring around to send money for that weeding instead of trying to make best use of this vacation like going somewhere together or bbq. They seem to me out of touch.

It's not unusual around here for older people to take carts home, then take them back the next shopping trip. Not sure if it's legal but it's practical, helps the older shopper and nobody gets hurt.


A gift from her is just that: from her. Maybe at this point she's able to give more. Sad that you think of it as a competition.



And she really has to pay you to help her around the house?

Sorry you feel you're wasting your vacation helping your mom but I envy you the opportunity.
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Old 08-31-2014, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,130 posts, read 12,004,212 times
Reputation: 16543
Yes, I see the concern being... she is suddenly changing her behaviors.
When she can't remember if she ate that day or is not paying her bills...uh-oh...Dementia starting.
I know all too well.
Glad it was cleared up it was a wedding, not weeding.
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Old 08-31-2014, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Way Up North
225 posts, read 228,978 times
Reputation: 420
Default Parent Doing Strange Things

Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle242 View Post
My mother lives in Chicago suburbs, she is in early 60s and found her starting doing strange things. She pushes carts from grocery supermarkets to her home and when neighbors were upset she thought they were wrong. We were trying to tell her its inappropriate and its grocery's store property she shouldn't be taking out of parking lot, no mater how close or how soon she returns it back.

Second, she sent for a weeding a far distant relative (godson) almost stranger to my family, neighbor's son weeding a huge gift value, more than she's ever given to me or my young nephews' any special occasion (i.e. xmas or birthday) during all years I lived that I remember. That godson live in another country and I think she did that so neighbors would not be rumoring that she gave not enough or something like that.

And when she revealed about gift, she did it when talking on phone and I overheard she did not try to even talk about money related details in private. I just came here for 1 week visit for vacation after 1 year after I moved to California to start building new life when previously I lost my job. I have my new job there and I am growing there. I was myself for past previous days myself to downtown to have fun by myself or with friends. On days I stayed in suburbs to spend time with my family they "hired" me to help with errands, like repair computer, even like chauffeuring around to send money for that weeding instead of trying to make best use of this vacation like going somewhere together or bbq. They seem to me out of touch.
Your mother is in her 60's? That is not that old. Using a shopping cart to take groceries home is not strange. I have seen shopping carts scattered around neighborhoods in cities. Some stores would send out people to walk around the neighborhood and collect the carts. I agree with buying your mom a portable shopping cart.

You might want to discuss the huge wedding gift that was sent to a distant relative with your mother. That way you could get a feeling for what was going on in her mind. Is she doing really strange things like putting her sweater in the refrigerator...or is she just a little absent minded? If you see her doing a lot of really strange things, then I would suggest talking to her doctor about seeing a specialist for an evaluation. I know it is difficult when you live in another state and don't see her often.
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Old 08-31-2014, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Seattle Area
1,716 posts, read 1,579,669 times
Reputation: 4125
You guys are so much better decoders than me. I could not understand a thing the OP was saying. Worst sentence structure and grammar ever, or maybe its just me. IDK.
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Old 08-31-2014, 10:56 AM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 3,152,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle242 View Post
Most places prohibit it. Places like Target actually lock carts once you leave designated area within parking lot. I heard its sometimes common in Europe, but not United States and nobody takes big shopping cart out of grocery's supermarket.

We have for that more heavy more durable bags for few $ that handle it better than carts.And if you have to chuck along huge shopping cart on wheels you look like homeless.
...
We were living within short walking distance of a Walmart Supercenter, and we did that, till they suddenly installed those electronic locks on all their carts. It took us a while to figure out what was going on. It seemed at first like the cart's wheels were jammed or something.

We used the carts that way for years before they locked them. We didn't look very homeless, and it didn't matter, because once we got home with the cart, we were no longer homeless. Nobody thought we were senile, because we were too young to be senile. That's the problem with being old. People start thinking you're senile because of every little thing you do differently than the person who thinks that.
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