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My mother lives in Chicago suburbs, she is in early 60s and found her starting doing strange things. She pushes carts from grocery supermarkets to her home and when neighbors were upset she thought they were wrong. We were trying to tell her its inappropriate and its grocery's store property she shouldn't be taking out of parking lot, no mater how close or how soon she returns it back.
Second, she sent for a weeding a far distant relative (godson) almost stranger to my family, neighbor's son weeding a huge gift value, more than she's ever given to me or my young nephews' any special occasion (i.e. xmas or birthday) during all years I lived that I remember. That godson live in another country and I think she did that so neighbors would not be rumoring that she gave not enough or something like that.
And when she revealed about gift, she did it when talking on phone and I overheard she did not try to even talk about money related details in private. I just came here for 1 week visit for vacation after 1 year after I moved to California to start building new life when previously I lost my job. I have my new job there and I am growing there. I was myself for past previous days myself to downtown to have fun by myself or with friends. On days I stayed in suburbs to spend time with my family they "hired" me to help with errands, like repair computer, even like chauffeuring around to send money for that weeding instead of trying to make best use of this vacation like going somewhere together or bbq. They seem to me out of touch.
That all sounds pretty normal to me. Taking the grocery cart to your house is normal if you live within walking distance and you bring it back. Spending more on a wedding gift that you do on birthdays and xmas is normal. Not knowing how to connect with a grown son who now lives far away, and covering that up by having him do chores when he visits is normal.
Of course, I am saying all this from the perspective of my culture. I don't know what is normal in yours. If you are worried about your mom, can you talk to a relative or friend of hers who lives where she lives, who she sees more often, tell them your concerns, and ask their opinion?
Taking the grocery cart to your house is normal if you live within walking distance and you bring it back.
Most places prohibit it. Places like Target actually lock carts once you leave designated area within parking lot. I heard its sometimes common in Europe, but not United States and nobody takes big shopping cart out of grocery's supermarket.
We have for that more heavy more durable bags for few $ that handle it better than carts.And if you have to chuck along huge shopping cart on wheels you look like homeless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
Spending more on a wedding gift that you do on birthdays and xmas is normal.
Even to people who don't give a damn about her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
Not knowing how to connect with a grown son who now lives far away, and covering that up by having him do chores when he visits is normal.
From time to time help, no mind at all. But to command like you had back home again a teenager living under roof VS. you can relax, do only what necessary but spend most time with only <1 week left quality time in the city, at dinner at home, etc What do you prefer. What leaves you with more memorable memories after your mother passes away sooner or later?
Are you expert in relationships? Am I in the right forum or is this a sex relationship forum?
Most places prohibit it. Places like Target actually lock carts once you leave designated area within parking lot. I heard its sometimes common in Europe, but not United States and nobody takes big shopping cart out of grocery's supermarket.
We have for that more heavy more durable bags for few $ that handle it better than carts.And if you have to chuck along huge shopping cart on wheels you look like homeless.
really? no one takes shopping carts out of the stores? then i guess all those shopping carts in the parking lots are not really there then and i can run over them with my car and have no damage? its true that some super markets are using carts with wheels that lock, even though they are more expensive than non locking carts, but even they will tell you that they cant stop people from leaving the parking lot with a shopping cart.
really? no one takes shopping carts out of the stores? then i guess all those shopping carts in the parking lots are not really there then and i can run over them with my car and have no damage? its true that some super markets are using carts with wheels that lock, even though they are more expensive than non locking carts, but even they will tell you that they cant stop people from leaving the parking lot with a shopping cart.
hm... it seems I've seen something like this, lately. Some of the budget stores, like Target, have some kind of mechanism that doesn't allow you to take carts. I never go to places like that, so I don't remember how it works.
Kyle, have you discussed your concerns with your relatives, the ones who hired you to do chores? It might not be a bad idea to have a family discussion. Early 60's seems young to be having cognitive problems, but who knows?
If a moderator wants to move this to another forum, he or she will. There is a Non-Romantic Relationships forum.
You asked a question on a public forum. Does anyone who answers have to be an expert on relationships? If you want an expert opinion, talk to a psychologist.
You mother hired you to do chores? I hope you don't mean that. When I used to visit my mother, when she was alive, I used to do a lot of chores. She begged me not to do them, but I felt it my responsibly as her child to do them. I made sure that there was plenty of time to have fun together. When I was an adult and she was a senior, we finally enjoyed each others company.
My mother did a lot of odd, out of character things when she was old. She paid her taxes, utilities, always had enough for food and other expenses. If she chose to spend the rest of her money on frivolous things, it was really none of my business. It was her money and her life. I tried to advise her about her financial situation, but she wouldn't have any part of it.
You're angry that your mother didn't give the money to you?
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