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My best friend from 6th grade on. Back then as kids I knew that we had more money than her family but I never realized the true struggle her family had gone through. A lot of the time she was at our house and whenever we went to any amusement parks we brought her along and my mom took care of everything.
She told me my mom always made sure she was fed well before she went home and that because of my mom she had the important teenage years that she would not have had otherwise.
As a child I never saw it like that. She was just my best friend and we enjoyed spending time together and doing things.
As an adult and looking back, I do see it.
I just sat here and smiled, and almost cried thinking back. So happy that my mom was the person she was and that she was able to extend the same care she gave me to my friend, and everyone really.
That's going back a lonnnnnnng way. I remember faces of friends from 6th grade but only the name of the girl I had a crush on..........where are you now, Virginia S-? bwahahahahahahaaaa!
How did you two reconnect? How are you "talking"? Face to face (hugs?) or phone or online? Do you think it'll be a life-long reconnection? How's her life? How is her family's life? Not probing, just curious.
That's going back a lonnnnnnng way. I remember faces of friends from 6th grade but only the name of the girl I had a crush on..........where are you now, Virginia S-? bwahahahahahahaaaa!
How did you two reconnect? How are you "talking"? Face to face (hugs?) or phone or online? Do you think it'll be a life-long reconnection? How's her life? How is her family's life? Not probing, just curious.
Thanks for posting.
Thank you! FaceBook. You know I don't remember which one of us found the other, but I would say it was a couple of years ago. I am actually in touch with a few people from elementary and high school.
I am 40 now and I was 10 when we met, I think. She is on the other side of the USA, so I do not see her. I hope it will be a life long reconnection. We chat every once in a while on FB.
That is what I love about FB. You can catch up with people, and I get to watch my family grow. The nieces and nephews I don't get to see and their children.
It just meant the world to me when she said the things she did about my mom. I remember she had the biggest crush on my older brother....I didn't mention that to her though, lol
My best friend from 6th grade on. Back then as kids I knew that we had more money than her family but I never realized the true struggle her family had gone through. A lot of the time she was at our house and whenever we went to any amusement parks we brought her along and my mom took care of everything.
She told me my mom always made sure she was fed well before she went home and that because of my mom she had the important teenage years that she would not have had otherwise.
As a child I never saw it like that. She was just my best friend and we enjoyed spending time together and doing things.
As an adult and looking back, I do see it.
I just sat here and smiled, and almost cried thinking back. So happy that my mom was the person she was and that she was able to extend the same care she gave me to my friend, and everyone really.
Times like this I really miss her....
Great story! I'm so glad that your mom was able to help her out, and do so without tipping you off. If she had let you know what your friend was struggling with, it may have changed your relationship with her. THe best good deeds are those we do and don't expect recognition from anyone. What a classy mom she was!
You reminded me of a great mentor I had in HS< she helped me a lot when my family was struggling. I just went on facebook to find her daughter---not because I really want to connect with her, but I want to thank her mom. Your story reminded me not to leave it too late. Unfortunately, there are pics of her dad but I can't find anything about her mom. I'm going to be really upset if she is gone so soon.
Great story! I'm so glad that your mom was able to help her out, and do so without tipping you off. If she had let you know what your friend was struggling with, it may have changed your relationship with her. THe best good deeds are those we do and don't expect recognition from anyone. What a classy mom she was!
I'm glad too!! That is how my parents were. We had different people living at our house at any given time, so that is how I grew up.
My friend just made me feel so wonderful about my mother.... (not that I didn't already)
This rings a bell.
At the start of 4th Grade, a new kid in class sought me out and chatted me up at the beginning of school one day. We hit it off easily, the way people who haven't gotten to high school are often able to do. Though not quite "joined at the hip" we became fast and close friends.
Soon my parents made it abundantly clear that they didn't support this friendship. The other guy's family was committing the unpardonable sins of being a few rungs down the economic ladder, living in a less well-off part of our suburb, renting their small house ...AND, though "lapsed," being Catholic.
All kinds of odds were probably beaten by our staying buddies for two years. Then the ties started to fray, and when his family left town midway through 7th Grade it was somebody else who gave me the news.
I had the best time whenever I went over to that kid's house! You had to watch your step in their living room, or risk stumbling over the golf balls - and jelly jars turned sideways - that his dad would leave on the rug. Then there was the overly affectionate black Lab to deal with. Without a "proper" dining room, the family would unfold a big table in the kitchen when it was suppertime and the meals were merrily chaotic. All of this was a refreshing departure from my professionally decorated, roomy house with nary a speck of dust and easily navigated spaces. We were cat people - one of my larger presences on C-D attests to my keeping that tradition alive. Our suppers were also taken together, but in a dedicated "breakfast nook" (the dining room was for guests.) Conversations could get lively, but the same energy wasn't there.
The parents had moved swiftly to nip in the bud any connections outside of school with AA classmates ("White and colored children shouldn't play together. It's...it's just not done.") So fourth grade offered my first venture across religious and socioeconomic lines that I'd taken. And although it took a while, the folks eventually squashed that too.
Why, in this age of social media and universal snooping, have I never found this long-gone pal? It's mainly because I never found out where his family went. (His name is shared by tens of thousands of men throughout the country, as are those of his parents and brothers.) It would be a true needle-in-a-haystack proposition. Plus there would be the awkwardness of excusing parental "classism" and religious bias, always present though not openly acknowledged at the time. BUT...if there ever were a chance to reconnect I'd be in the role of Pikantari's newly reconnected friend. For in contrast to the cold snobbery emanating from my household I'll never forget the warm, non-judgmental hospitality that always awaited me in his - not to mention the guy himself, who was a just plain all-around "good kid." (It also explains why being a feline loyalist doesn't keep me from holding a special place in my mind for black Labs. )
This rings a bell.
At the start of 4th Grade, a new kid in class sought me out and chatted me up at the beginning of school one day. We hit it off easily, the way people who haven't gotten to high school are often able to do. Though not quite "joined at the hip" we became fast and close friends.
Soon my parents made it abundantly clear that they didn't support this friendship. The other guy's family was committing the unpardonable sins of being a few rungs down the economic ladder, living in a less well-off part of our suburb, renting their small house ...AND, though "lapsed," being Catholic.
All kinds of odds were probably beaten by our staying buddies for two years. Then the ties started to fray, and when his family left town midway through 7th Grade it was somebody else who gave me the news.
I had the best time whenever I went over to that kid's house! You had to watch your step in their living room, or risk stumbling over the golf balls - and jelly jars turned sideways - that his dad would leave on the rug. Then there was the overly affectionate black Lab to deal with. Without a "proper" dining room, the family would unfold a big table in the kitchen when it was suppertime and the meals were merrily chaotic. All of this was a refreshing departure from my professionally decorated, roomy house with nary a speck of dust and easily navigated spaces. We were cat people - one of my larger presences on C-D attests to my keeping that tradition alive. Our suppers were also taken together, but in a dedicated "breakfast nook" (the dining room was for guests.) Conversations could get lively, but the same energy wasn't there.
The parents had moved swiftly to nip in the bud any connections outside of school with AA classmates ("White and colored children shouldn't play together. It's...it's just not done.") So fourth grade offered my first venture across religious and socioeconomic lines that I'd taken. And although it took a while, the folks eventually squashed that too.
Why, in this age of social media and universal snooping, have I never found this long-gone pal? It's mainly because I never found out where his family went. (His name is shared by tens of thousands of men throughout the country, as are those of his parents and brothers.) It would be a true needle-in-a-haystack proposition. Plus there would be the awkwardness of excusing parental "classism" and religious bias, always present though not openly acknowledged at the time. BUT...if there ever were a chance to reconnect I'd be in the role of Pikantari's newly reconnected friend. For in contrast to the cold snobbery emanating from my household I'll never forget the warm, non-judgmental hospitality that always awaited me in his - not to mention the guy himself, who was a just plain all-around "good kid." (It also explains why being a feline loyalist doesn't keep me from holding a special place in my mind for black Labs. )
Isn't it funny how we remember the things we do? You know, most of the friends I had as a young person lived in the apartments. I always loved going out there. Such an adventure! In turn, they always loved coming to my house!
There was another girl in our circle of friends. I knew her long before I knew my best friend. She arrived in the 6th grade. Every weekend we used to go roller skating, and the parents would take turns taking us and picking us up.
My room had to be clean if I wanted to go skating. That one always worked for my dad!
One time it was my friends moms turn to pick us up and she didn't! There were no cell phones back then, and we sat there waiting and waiting. The police took us home! I was scared out of my mind!! We made my best friend sit up front with the cop because we were to afraid. He was a jerk too. Everything he spoke of that whole ride home was racist. Felt like an eternity.
We all went to my house. That was usually where we ended up.
As I sit here and think about it now, we probably had a lot more money than many of the other families. I just think it is so strange that I did not recognize that as a kid. Maybe it was a good thing! =)
Even as an adult I really don't care about money. Maybe that has just been me all along.
Thank you! FaceBook. You know I don't remember which one of us found the other, but I would say it was a couple of years ago. I am actually in touch with a few people from elementary and high school.
I am 40 now and I was 10 when we met, I think. She is on the other side of the USA, so I do not see her. I hope it will be a life long reconnection. We chat every once in a while on FB.
That is what I love about FB. You can catch up with people, and I get to watch my family grow. The nieces and nephews I don't get to see and their children.
It just meant the world to me when she said the things she did about my mom. I remember she had the biggest crush on my older brother....I didn't mention that to her though, lol
Yep, you're enjoying the wonderful side of Facebook. As folks post about on the "Relationships" forum on C-D, there is a dark, sinister side.......but that discussion is for another time and another forum.
I avoided FB for the longest time, I'm not much of a "social media" guy. C-D is really my first foray into it. But a few years ago I joined FB on a mission..........a mission to try to reconnect with good friends from junior high school, high school, and my career in the Navy. I found a "best friend" from jr high, a few friends from high school, and several from the Navy. (I only looked for guy friends - dunno why. ) I spoke with most of them, enjoyed catching up and the feeling seemed mutual, especially from the hour or longer phone conversations. BUT, the connections faded away just as fast. No biggee. I "scratched that itch" and was satisfied with the results. I figured they're like me, I'm living a fine, fulfilling life and it was cool to reconnect but people, and time, moves on. My FB account is now inactive.
My Mother is gone now but even though she had her demons and dysfunctions, she was a wonderful person at heart. I still occasionally choke up thinking about her and then I smile.
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...AND, though "lapsed," being Catholic. 
