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Okay I am kind of angry and hope I am overreacting. I have been a teacher for religious education at the church for three years and while I don't get paid I feel appreciated for doing it. I'm also getting compliments from the parents and the kids all love me. I have to attend 6 credit hours a year in college classes as part of my teaching and they pay. In addition I have to write up a lesson plan every year and the kids have to reach standards by the end of the year. Even though it's volunteer it is a lot of work.
So anyway, a couple weeks ago I go into the office to talk to the director (I have known her for years outside of church and we have a great relationship)and notice a mom registering her kids for class. I talk to the mom and she tells me her daughter will be in my class and she's shy. I also saw the director giving her information for being involved in the program telling her they always need help. It didn't register until a week later and in the bulletin it listed as teachers for my class me and her. I was livid as you can imagine and called the director who told me she was going to be my assistant like my other assistants. I had other assistants but both were younger women (one was in jr high, the other in high school). I was assured she was only my assistant. According to the director she wants to work for the church because her daughter is shy and she thinks it's better she has her in the class.
However when we had a teacher meeting she was there and not only that but she kept talking about all these ideas she had for "Our" class. I confronted the director and she said look at it as a "co pilot". In the meeting she was introduced as working with me. The deacon started asking her ideas on how the education program can be better because she is apparently a working teacher (I am a teacher too, but I mostly work with adults). Another teacher told me she had the same problem where a parent decided to be an "assistant" and she ended up getting kicked out. When they started talking to this new person another long term teacher looked at me and said it looked like I was being pushed out, which it felt like that. Afterwards both the director and the deacon assured me that wasn't the case. They are also ordering another teaching manual but I suspect it's a manual she can use. I was very rude to her in the meeting with her talking about her ideas and she told the director looks like I don't like her. I flatly told the director I don't know this woman enough to dislike her but do dislike having a co teacher when I am a solo act. Like I said I have had assistants and I would ask them for ideas but they never asked for copies of the syllabus or telling me what should be done.
Am I overreacting? The first day I plan to tell her bluntly I am the teacher.
I would have felt hurt (and probably angry, too) that somebody forgot to confer with me regarding an assistant. That's just polite.
I'd look deep inside, OP, and ask myself how much I am allowing issues of ego to rule my thought and behavior. Maybe the Power that rules your life is trying to teach you a lesson in humility?
I know. Those totally suck. But we get what we need. So pay attention.
Oh because she has a kid she knows more about religion than I do? yeah right. If she cared before then why wasn't she involved before? She has an older kid, why didn't she volunteer for him?
It isn't about who knows more, it's about who wants to oversee their child's religion class. In this case, the mother feels her daughter will be more comfortable with her being there.
Your feelings are hurt. I get that. But geez, get over it, and stop taking it out on the parent. It's about the kids, not you, and if you can't deal with that, you need to step away.
Why don't you get over yourself. I am volunteering, so who is the selfish one? If this mother was into religion she would have volunteered sooner.
You don't know my volunteer history, nor do you know this woman's history. Maybe she was volunteering at their school, maybe she volunteered at the local food pantry or animal shelter. Maybe she was suffering from a serious illness that prevented her from volunteering sooner.
Oh because she has a kid she knows more about religion than I do? yeah right. If she cared before then why wasn't she involved before? She has an older kid, why didn't she volunteer for him?
Oh. My. Goodness.
What gives you the right to question this person's motivations?
What gives you the right to be disrespectful when someone is doing exactly what the church expects us to do - to tithe of our Time, Talents, and Treasure.
Did you not say this woman is a teacher by profession?
She is stepping forward to volunteer for the first time and you are condemning her for it? Excuse me?
It is not up to you to judge "why" another member of your church wants to share her talents. The director of the program has assessed her "gifts" and she has decided that the place she is needed is in your classroom.
Seems to me you are not only threatened by having someone else in your classroom, you think you are more capable of assessing the church education program than the people hired to oversee it.
What is really sad - you had the opportunity to make this a special "team effort" but you completely closed your mind and took offense to what the director clearly saw as an opportunity for improving the classroom experience - for the children.
You do remember . . . you are there FOR THE CHILDREN????
I have a feeling that the OP is just so upset and angry about the situation that she is starting to sound like an egotistical jerk in her posts, which may be very far from what is her typical behavior.
OP, maybe you should just relax for while and stop thinking about this issue.
Is there someone else in the church that you can discuss it with? Perhaps, one of the other teachers? Maybe you are over reacting and maybe not? Maybe you are too "invested" in the class and need to step back for a while? Perhaps, even though you love teaching that class and do a great job it is time to take a Sabbatical from it?
You probably will get more accurate feedback, suggestions and information from someone else who knows the situation a little better than we do, such as other adults who teach similar classes in your church.
You don't know my volunteer history, nor do you know this woman's history. Maybe she was volunteering at their school, maybe she volunteered at the local food pantry or animal shelter. Maybe she was suffering from a serious illness that prevented her from volunteering sooner.
Volunteering for your own ego boost is selfish. Unselfish behavior would sound something like this:
"Absolutely, I'm here for anything you need me to do. Teach? Yes! Co-teach? Yes!! Sweep up after the classes?? Sure I can do that? As I said, anything you need."
When I volunteer, I specifically do not sign up for committees or choose where I want to be. I always just tell those in charge to put me where there is most need. It is usually the most undesirable tasks, but I don't care in the least. It is about the charity and what they need, not what I want.
That's what makes this weird. I always do more than my fair share. I help with other classes and help at other events at the church. Most of the other teacher's don't. I don't ask for rewards (working with the kids is reward enough) but it does bother me. I assume what happened is this other woman pressured them into being a teacher and me being laid back assumed I wouldn't care. The problem is I do care. With my one assistant (the older one)I did start giving her more responsibilities because I could tell she was bored with just being an assistant. This year because she's in college now she teaches her own class.
Bette, why did they do that to you? I don't think in my case it was personal, just that this mom decided to take over. Perhaps she would leave the church if she doesn't teach.
"perhaps she would leave the church if she doesn't teach" is not a good reason to select a teacher or assistant, for that matter. The school's motivation here needs to be examined.
Additionally, I don't think that it would be beneficial for the child to have her mother in the same class. If she is shy, she needs to discover her uniqueness and strengths and individualism through being stretched in the class with peers, so she can grow and develop and *bloom*. The mom sounds overbearing and controlling, which may be what contributes to her daughter's shyness (i.e. 'fear').
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