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Old 09-03-2014, 09:22 AM
 
16,722 posts, read 14,601,870 times
Reputation: 41111

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ozgal View Post
The OP has yet to address whether the other woman's ideas for changes are good or not, or whether the problem is just that they're not how the OP has planned the lessons out and wants them to be.

If they're awful ideas, then sure, address the problem ideas and not the person presenting them. If there's a good idea, then talk about how to possibly implement that within the already planned curriculum and without too much disruption to your own plans.

It's obvious the OP has a lot of pride over the work and effort she has put into the position, and that her feelings are hurt, but if she can manage to set aside her pride and hurt feelings to critically and objectively consider the "help," and the ideas being offered, then perhaps something great can come from all this.

Packing up and giving the Church the proverbial finger on your way out the door only hurts you, and the children, at least until a replacement teacher is found. Don't fool yourself, because the church will carry on, and they will find someone to replace you. No one is ever that indispensable.
They already have one. I believe the OP has worn out her welcome here.

 
Old 09-03-2014, 09:27 AM
 
16,990 posts, read 20,588,424 times
Reputation: 33951
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
I will not step down nor will I co teach. I am the teacher and she is either the assistant or nothing at all. I was there first, it's my class. Not to mention since I have come in many other teachers have come in. Most don't have assistants or if they do they are teens. She only came in because of her daughter and that rubs me the wrong way. I will make it known I am the leader. I've had assistants and I like that but they were assistants and did things like take the kids to the bathroom.
This post here speaks volumes about the OP. I hope they don't have to call the police when she has her meeting.

Talk about an ego.

Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I've been following this thread for awhile now. I think the whole thing can be boiled down to the OP threatening to quit not only this but all her volunteering for the church unless she is allowed to continue reigning her little empire. A person volunteering with God in her heart is willing to listen and do what is best for the church and all of it's parishioners not simply what best stokes her own ego and needs.

Somewhere along the way the OP forgot what she is doing and why. Perhaps it is time for a break.
Exactly, time to go, and try to do it with some dignity and not leave in a huff or cause a scene. But judging from the comments from the OP that may not happen.

Seems to be anger management issues in addition to a huge ego.


Quote:
Originally Posted by raindrop101 View Post
germaine, I see your point. However, IMHO, the director and deacon have led the woman to believe that she is a teacher and her suggestions are not only welcome, but expected. They included her name in the list of teachers, invited her to the teacher's meeting, called her a "co-pilot" and asked her for her ideas. They have clearly made it seem as if co-teacher is her role and the OP says she has experience as a teacher, so I would expect her to have input.

I think OP needs to clarify her own role with her director. If she is expected to co-teach, and she is still opposed to that, then she should quit. That would be unfortunate because everyone could be missing an opportunity to learn.

I don't agree with having a mother teach her own child, so I think that issue is an important one that should be addressed. Ultimately, that is the decision of the director, not the OP.
I really think after reading through this thread this woman was brought in and given more reign than other assistants for a reason, and it wasn't a "shy child".
 
Old 09-03-2014, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Streamwood, IL
520 posts, read 541,423 times
Reputation: 1219
Wow.. I was following this thread from almost the very beginning (it was still 3 pages in).. I had so much to say, but didn't want to be passing a judgement.
22 pages later, I would like to thank OP for supporting my point as to why my children will never join a "class" like this (I've always been against it to begin with). If before it was debatable, this thread served as a fantastic cure to my second half as well.
I am sickened and saddened by the fact that children are exposed to a toxic, hypocritical and self-righteous person such as OP.

Small people shouldn't teach little ones.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 10:38 AM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,196,129 times
Reputation: 5893
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoMeO View Post
Hi I am here as a person defending you. I somehow think I am right. Can you tell me why you want to have the class exclusively as yours and not have a co-teacher? I say its because you have the way you want to do things and this person is wanting to do it all against what you envision. I don't see anything wrong with that. and I don't think you have a big ego, I think its a judgment call on your part. am I wrong?
It's because of many reasons. First, the class is small and it's not big enough for two teachers. The 2nd grade is and they could use two teachers but not this. Second, I've run it a few years and know what works and what doesn't and have spent time learning new things to bring to the class. Third, I don't like her attitude. If she had come in and told me her ideas, etc I would have handled this better. Instead she brought it up at the meeting. I don't trust her and think if she is already this sneaky who knows what else she has up her sleeve? She's already telling the church what they should do. Fourth, I don't like the general vibe I am getting and the dishonesty. No one asked me.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 10:42 AM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,196,129 times
Reputation: 5893
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Put yourself in Idon'tdateyou's shoes, she spend many hours this summer preparing for the year long class, organizing things, buying supplies, fine tuning the curriculum (probably just like all of the other teachers were doing) and then right before classes start someone new, without certification or experience, jumps in and wants to change the curriculum.

From what the OP wrote it was not "Let's include this to help strengthen this point, or let's try presenting this idea in this way" but totally changing a well established curriculum/syllabus of the class.

Look at it this way, picture an experienced, long time employee that had been working on a major presentation at work for months and months and the presentation is totally completed and ready to present to the client. Then the boss, says to a new hire "Hey, you are now an equal to the experienced employee" and the new hire wants to totally change and revamp the entire presentation days before it is to be shown to the clients. I would suspect that the experience person would be concerned that the finished product (in this case the curriculum and classes) would not be the best quality that it could be. That is the way that I pictured it. The OP made it seem like it was all about her, but I think that she is more concerned about the children and the program suffering.



It appears the OP is concerned that the children in the class will not receive the appropriate education for that grade level.
Exactly. I guarantee the same people calling me names (which is very un Christian but I think they are troublemakers)would not like it if someone butted into a project at work. That's troubling as is the fact this mother is going to hover over the kid and it will become about her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
I think this helicopter mom has over stepped her boundary in all of this and someone needs to come forward and set her straight of course the church wont because they want her to put money in the collection plate im sorry but that is what it boils down to ...this mom needs a parenting class to learn how not to hover over a shy child . This child will never develop any kind of personality because mommy is going to be there . I detest mothers who seem to think that their child is the most super great little person that was ever put on this earth and they think they can bulldoze everyone else that gets in their way . I agree with the OP this mommy needs to back off and let the teacher teach and she needs to help the church in another area if she wishes to do so , otherwise I feel that this church will be doing away with an excellent teacher and these days folks those are few and far between .
oh yeah OP ask this mommy dearest if she would like to chip in on the school supplies as well since she seems to want to help so much ...that might just be the trick to do her in ...wink wink
Yeah I'm going to and I think we all know this answer. The church has a hard time getting teachers and they often ask the parents and most make excuses.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 10:49 AM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,196,129 times
Reputation: 5893
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I agree with phonelady61. I think that some of the posters who are saying "let the mom have input", "let the mom co-teach" have not had to deal with extreme helicopter parents (which, I think this mother is). Luckily, they are a tiny minority but they can wreak havoc on the other children as well as causing long term problems for their own child.
I mentioned this earlier but this situation happened a few years ago. Because the director is laid back (and contrary to many they aren't pushing me out, that's just people being jerks)she allowed another mother to co teach. The real teacher quit, the mom took over and the kids learned nothing because it was all about the kid. The mom didn't even do the required 6 hours. She ended up quitting and the other teacher came back with a reassurance this wouldn't happen again to her. What we also forget is these moms will allow their kids to do anything but attack other kids. Let's say this girl is a bad kid (not likely but using a point)she gets in a fight with another kid. Her mom will be "not my kid". Because I am a bystander I can see that she was the one to blame.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 10:53 AM
 
9,905 posts, read 9,275,007 times
Reputation: 8035
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
I'm going to see both tomorrow and ask them. No, I won't co teach, if anything I'll quit and quit all my volunteering at the church. We'll see what they say. It'll hurt but if that is the case they are lying and I can't handle lying. The other teacher who had this problem ended up quitting.

No, this woman apparently has been at the church for years and had the time to volunteer she just chose not to.
Are you still going to see the Director and Deacon today?

I still don't understand what you are teaching. You are catechist certified but not teaching catechism? Are you teaching FF or RE?
 
Old 09-03-2014, 10:58 AM
 
1,167 posts, read 1,096,301 times
Reputation: 2142
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
I mentioned this earlier but this situation happened a few years ago. Because the director is laid back (and contrary to many they aren't pushing me out, that's just people being jerks)she allowed another mother to co teach. The real teacher quit, the mom took over and the kids learned nothing because it was all about the kid. The mom didn't even do the required 6 hours. She ended up quitting and the other teacher came back with a reassurance this wouldn't happen again to her. What we also forget is these moms will allow their kids to do anything but attack other kids. Let's say this girl is a bad kid (not likely but using a point)she gets in a fight with another kid. Her mom will be "not my kid". Because I am a bystander I can see that she was the one to blame.
Do you have children? Not all parents are like that, and it's unfair to judge 'these moms,' without actual evidence of that kind of behavior or attitude from the individuals involved.

I have participated in a lot of things with my child, and when he is in the wrong, he is in the wrong and I hold him accountable for it.

It irks me somewhat that you think because she has never volunteered for the church before that she's unfit to volunteer. Everyone starts somewhere.

Before I got my dog, and trained him as a therapy dog, I had never volunteered in many of the places that a person goes with their therapy dog, before I had my baby, I never volunteered as a breastfeeding advisor, etc. Life and experiences change people. It changes their outlook and their reasons and purpose in life. Just because someone has never done something before, that does not mean that they shouldn't, nor that they have nothing of value to contribute.

A lot of the reasons for being involved in the things I have voluntarily involved myself in have been because of my child, my family, my pet, etc. They've been an inspiration and a motivation. It hasn't been about me, except in what I have to give and how I would like to help.

Last edited by ozgal; 09-03-2014 at 11:31 AM..
 
Old 09-03-2014, 11:00 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 39,979,322 times
Reputation: 62022
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foques View Post
Wow.. I was following this thread from almost the very beginning (it was still 3 pages in).. I had so much to say, but didn't want to be passing a judgement.
22 pages later, I would like to thank OP for supporting my point as to why my children will never join a "class" like this (I've always been against it to begin with). If before it was debatable, this thread served as a fantastic cure to my second half as well.
I am sickened and saddened by the fact that children are exposed to a toxic, hypocritical and self-righteous person such as OP.

Small people shouldn't teach little ones.

Please don't believe that all Catechism Teachers are like the original poster, most of them are there purely for the gift they can give the children and it is all about the children not their own ego boost.
My Grandchildren had/have a tremendous teacher for Catechism that they both absolutely adore and she was a Nun though and has been teaching the class for many years.
Just give someone else a chance and don't base your decision on one person who is not the typical representative of these classes.
 
Old 09-03-2014, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Montreal, Quebec
15,087 posts, read 11,970,880 times
Reputation: 9708
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Put yourself in Idon'tdateyou's shoes, she spend many hours this summer preparing for the year long class, organizing things, buying supplies, fine tuning the curriculum (probably just like all of the other teachers were doing) and then right before classes start someone new, without certification or experience, jumps in and wants to change the curriculum.

From what the OP wrote it was not "Let's include this to help strengthen this point, or let's try presenting this idea in this way" but totally changing a well established curriculum/syllabus of the class.

Look at it this way, picture an experienced, long time employee that had been working on a major presentation at work for months and months and the presentation is totally completed and ready to present to the client. Then the boss, says to a new hire "Hey, you are now an equal to the experienced employee" and the new hire wants to totally change and revamp the entire presentation days before it is to be shown to the clients. I would suspect that the experience person would be concerned that the finished product (in this case the curriculum and classes) would not be the best quality that it could be. That is the way that I pictured it. The OP made it seem like it was all about her, but I think that she is more concerned about the children and the program suffering.



It appears the OP is concerned that the children in the class will not receive the appropriate education for that grade level.
I don't think it's about the children at all. It's about the OP's bloated ego and refusal to share and play nice.
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