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I'm not the selfish one, she is. She refuses to allow her daughter to grow up so she decided to intrude in my teaching, something I've done for YEARS. Then I'll quit (or so she thinks)and next year will be gone unless she goes to the next level.
The biggest part of the problem I see here is that the new assistant isn't getting a clear job description. The director is puffing up the new member, making her feel important and that she is contributing by telling her that she's a co-pilot. Then she's talking out the other side of her mouth when she assures you that she's just an assistant. Which is it? A co-teacher should expect to have some input into the curriculum, what/how is being taught, goals, objectives, etc. An assistant should expect to do what the teacher tells her to do. Period. (PS: I think putting the mother of a shy child in the same classroom is STUPID -- the whole idea is to allow the child an opportunity to get over her shyness, meet other children, and interact with other adults. You think she's going to do that with Mommy watching her every move like a hawk? No, sirree. Every time she's unsure, she'll be running to Mommy -- and you won't have an opportunity to create any kind of relationship with her.)
I think you and the director need to have a "Come to Jesus" meeting, where the expectations are spelled out, unemotionally and clearly. If she feels that your class needs two teachers, then it will be up to you to decide if that's how you want to teach. If not, then resign. It's a volunteer position. Go someplace else that needs you. You might have enjoyed it in the past, but with your atttude now, you certainly won't be enjoying it now, because you do not feel valued. And when you leave, you can say, with perfect graciousness, that you are so glad that they have such a competent and experienced teacher already there to take your place.
Also: Cut the rudeness out. You're better than that, I hope, and church is definitely not the place to throw around attitutude. Remember, this is not the assistant's fault. This is the director's fault. The fact that you are so quickly threatened by the new girl is interesting to me -- I have to wonder why.
Very good advice. Get everyone on the same page as to what is going on.
And definitely cut the rudeness out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
I will not step down nor will I co teach. I am the teacher and she is either the assistant or nothing at all. I was there first, it's my class. Not to mention since I have come in many other teachers have come in. Most don't have assistants or if they do they are teens. She only came in because of her daughter and that rubs me the wrong way. I will make it known I am the leader. I've had assistants and I like that but they were assistants and did things like take the kids to the bathroom.
You will step down if you're asked to leave.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
I teach because I enjoy it and enjoy working with kids. However I do resent coming in and taking over something I worked hard at. If she was so interested before she would have volunteered but has never volunteered for anything at the church. Other teachers do less than me yet they aren't going to have a co teacher. I'm not either, she will be an assistant. I'm going to chat with the director.
Maybe it is due to your age, but guess what in life people come along in the workplace and in your social life who are going to "upset the applecart". You're the "Star of the show" and than you no longer are.
It was suggested by dbblackga back on post #7 that you do exactly that. But as they suggested you need to do it in unemotional manner. You better work on that and practice with someone before you do the actual "chat".
If it was me I would leave the church completely sounds like this church wants to kiss the moms butt to keep her in the church and I have dealt with churches like this before and you are only important to them in reference of how much you can put into the collection plate .My dad used to call churches like this , churches of the pocketbook . In other words he who has the gold makes the rules and right now the church has the gold so they make the rules . Find another church where you will be appreciated and shown it . Churches that care about you as a person will ask your opinions and how you are feeling and if you have a problem you can go to them and they will not spread it around like wildfire ..well it is your decision but you did ask for others opinions and no you are not over reacting .
Last edited by phonelady61; 09-01-2014 at 04:41 AM..
Reason: spelling
I was a teacher of theology for many years in Christian schools and I can tell you that you will lead more people to God by the way you behave and treat others than by any thing that you teach in a classroom.
If you teach the faith yet don't live it then you are a hypocrite.
Maybe this experience is God's way of trying to teach you something about yourself and your own insecurities and fears.
Part of prayer is learning to listen with your heart.
Teaching religion is not about YOU.
It is about conveying the love of God to others.
If I were the Director and knew your attitude I'd fire you in a heartbeat. I would not want you teaching in my school just from what you've shown here.
I agree ^^^.
You need to get over yourself, OP. Your feelings are about as un-Christian as they get.
The class is NOT yours.
You are like a Pharisee. Remember what happened to them?
One of the best things I learned in therapy was to accept your emotions, not deny them, BUT don't act out your emotions on other people. Take a step back and decide to act in a responsible way, not throwing a fit. Some of my worst memories are when I was rude because I was feeling hurt and angry.
I would definitely feel hurt the way the director handled this situation. So your emotions are understandable. Now, what are you going to DO? You can choose to quit, no one can force you to stay. Or you can express your judgment to the director that his/her action is not helpful to the program. You've heard of the "I" statement technique, right? " When a co-teacher was assigned to my class, I felt surprised and would like to know how you see my role developing this semester"
If you decide to stay, hopefully after an honest (calm) discussion with your director you can work alongside the mother, but this will be a choice on your part, to agree with yourself to feel hurt but to act professional, while calling on the power of prayer and looking to The Lord for strength.
One other thing, I think this mother 'helicoptering' over her child is hugely unwise. What will she do, follow the girl up the grades, volunteering for each new year's class? Poor kid.
It one thing to feel unappreciated, which I think is the case here, but another to feel ownership of a classroom that frankly, belongs to parishioners. You are wrong OP.
I do some volunteer work for a local charity. The long term volunteers can be very proprietary about the areas they choose to work in, and it turns off new people, creating a shortage of help.
If you can't share the glory, it's time to step aside. The class isn't all about you.
When I used to teach a peer Sunday school class I actually loved it when another person helped with teaching. We used to each have the class every other week. It gave me a chance to be a "student" in the class and so forth. It also gave me a chance to have another teachers perspective on things, and that was a really good thing.
I know when I taught kids I would have loved to have had a co-teacher or even an assistant but the church had such a hard time getting people to teach the classes...
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