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Okay I am kind of angry and hope I am overreacting. I have been a teacher for religious education at the church for three years and while I don't get paid I feel appreciated for doing it. I'm also getting compliments from the parents and the kids all love me. I have to attend 6 credit hours a year in college classes as part of my teaching and they pay. In addition I have to write up a lesson plan every year and the kids have to reach standards by the end of the year. Even though it's volunteer it is a lot of work.
So anyway, a couple weeks ago I go into the office to talk to the director (I have known her for years outside of church and we have a great relationship)and notice a mom registering her kids for class. I talk to the mom and she tells me her daughter will be in my class and she's shy. I also saw the director giving her information for being involved in the program telling her they always need help. It didn't register until a week later and in the bulletin it listed as teachers for my class me and her. I was livid as you can imagine and called the director who told me she was going to be my assistant like my other assistants. I had other assistants but both were younger women (one was in jr high, the other in high school). I was assured she was only my assistant. According to the director she wants to work for the church because her daughter is shy and she thinks it's better she has her in the class.
However when we had a teacher meeting she was there and not only that but she kept talking about all these ideas she had for "Our" class. I confronted the director and she said look at it as a "co pilot". In the meeting she was introduced as working with me. The deacon started asking her ideas on how the education program can be better because she is apparently a working teacher (I am a teacher too, but I mostly work with adults). Another teacher told me she had the same problem where a parent decided to be an "assistant" and she ended up getting kicked out. When they started talking to this new person another long term teacher looked at me and said it looked like I was being pushed out, which it felt like that. Afterwards both the director and the deacon assured me that wasn't the case. They are also ordering another teaching manual but I suspect it's a manual she can use. I was very rude to her in the meeting with her talking about her ideas and she told the director looks like I don't like her. I flatly told the director I don't know this woman enough to dislike her but do dislike having a co teacher when I am a solo act. Like I said I have had assistants and I would ask them for ideas but they never asked for copies of the syllabus or telling me what should be done.
Am I overreacting? The first day I plan to tell her bluntly I am the teacher.
When our son was 1, my husband and I were both approached to "help" in his class. So, basically, on Sunday mornings, our daughter (bit older) was in class for 2 services and our son also - we went to one of the services and "taught" during the other.
Well, it has now been over 23 years and we now teach the 4 & 5 year olds (pre-K) and sometimes 3 year olds when someone doesn't show up. We did this every Sunday forever. About 6 years ago, with no warning, they put out a schedule and we were every other week except for 5 week months and then we always had the 3 weeks. At first, we were a bit weirded out like we did something wrong but I guess the director just looked at it like we were taking a break.
We just tried to be positive and look at the long term - maybe this is an opportunity for us to do something else.
I'm always so amazed though at how fast - out with the old, in with the new - and I think that's what you're thinking. I always try to work as a team with others and I've had some very enjoyable ladies and men (and teens) help us as well.
Bottom line - we love the kids and it's our dose of being with that age group. My husband says they are like little sponges and he is so right.
Just don't let it be a power play - but I also hate when politics enters into other facets of our lives.
That's what makes this weird. I always do more than my fair share. I help with other classes and help at other events at the church. Most of the other teacher's don't. I don't ask for rewards (working with the kids is reward enough) but it does bother me. I assume what happened is this other woman pressured them into being a teacher and me being laid back assumed I wouldn't care. The problem is I do care. With my one assistant (the older one)I did start giving her more responsibilities because I could tell she was bored with just being an assistant. This year because she's in college now she teaches her own class.
Bette, why did they do that to you? I don't think in my case it was personal, just that this mom decided to take over. Perhaps she would leave the church if she doesn't teach.
The biggest part of the problem I see here is that the new assistant isn't getting a clear job description. The director is puffing up the new member, making her feel important and that she is contributing by telling her that she's a co-pilot. Then she's talking out the other side of her mouth when she assures you that she's just an assistant. Which is it? A co-teacher should expect to have some input into the curriculum, what/how is being taught, goals, objectives, etc. An assistant should expect to do what the teacher tells her to do. Period. (PS: I think putting the mother of a shy child in the same classroom is STUPID -- the whole idea is to allow the child an opportunity to get over her shyness, meet other children, and interact with other adults. You think she's going to do that with Mommy watching her every move like a hawk? No, sirree. Every time she's unsure, she'll be running to Mommy -- and you won't have an opportunity to create any kind of relationship with her.)
I think you and the director need to have a "Come to Jesus" meeting, where the expectations are spelled out, unemotionally and clearly. If she feels that your class needs two teachers, then it will be up to you to decide if that's how you want to teach. If not, then resign. It's a volunteer position. Go someplace else that needs you. You might have enjoyed it in the past, but with your atttude now, you certainly won't be enjoying it now, because you do not feel valued. And when you leave, you can say, with perfect graciousness, that you are so glad that they have such a competent and experienced teacher already there to take your place.
Also: Cut the rudeness out. You're better than that, I hope, and church is definitely not the place to throw around attitutude. Remember, this is not the assistant's fault. This is the director's fault. The fact that you are so quickly threatened by the new girl is interesting to me -- I have to wonder why.
I'm threatened because it seems I often get the shaft when it comes to both volunteering and jobs. I have built up a rep with this and keep improving on it. I do think the mom being in class is also a bad idea and another teacher told me this happened to her and it was a nightmare. She went to the director and told her the parents shouldn't be in the class because it is disruptive. I have to find out if she was told she would be an assistant and thought it meant more or if she was told she's an assistant. My other assistant never tried to pull this, they went along with the schedule and never questioned it.
Actually it is also this woman's fault, because she said she couldn't leave her daughter alone.
I think they were wrong to impose this woman on you as ''assistant'' without consulting you.
I would be a bit miffed myself.
You will either have to conspire to work together or you will have to step down.
I would try team teaching with her. Who knows? It could wind up being a lot of fun for everyone.
You do seem a bit rigid and so maybe a little bit of ''let go and let God'' applies here.
Mostly be kind and gracious and accomodating.
Your attitude will be reflected to your students.
I will not step down nor will I co teach. I am the teacher and she is either the assistant or nothing at all. I was there first, it's my class. Not to mention since I have come in many other teachers have come in. Most don't have assistants or if they do they are teens. She only came in because of her daughter and that rubs me the wrong way. I will make it known I am the leader. I've had assistants and I like that but they were assistants and did things like take the kids to the bathroom.
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Kind of went through this
