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Old 09-02-2014, 01:18 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,823 posts, read 2,383,914 times
Reputation: 2665

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Posting on fb asking to send gifts is tacky. I don't think asking people to send a card is tacky.

If the mother is 90, there is a chance she is lonely, depressed...maybe she loves cards and would get great joy out of it.
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Old 09-02-2014, 05:15 PM
 
Location: U.S.A., Earth
4,449 posts, read 2,852,331 times
Reputation: 3938
I've had someone I known use FB to post a shout out to others to send wishes that the person's lost cat would return (was discovered missing a few days prior).

Obviously, the cat's not going to use his phone, or log onto FB somewhere and see that his owner and friends who met him misses him, be touched, and return due to that, but in these cases, it seems it's the thought that counts.
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Old 09-02-2014, 05:18 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,070 posts, read 14,363,976 times
Reputation: 36805
No. Being kind to a elderly person- who will probably die soon-- IS NOT tacky!


You didn't know? Facebook "Tacky" is now defined as this: selfie.
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Old 09-02-2014, 07:23 PM
 
14 posts, read 13,578 times
Reputation: 34
Default Ulterior Motive

Yes, very tacky. Posting her birthday on FB is fine. This person probably figures that along with those cards, monetary gifts will also be sent. It is kind of like a scam. That 90 year old woman will not be doing any shopping, but the woman would.
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Old 09-02-2014, 11:32 PM
 
1,961 posts, read 3,746,178 times
Reputation: 2762
Its just you.
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Old 09-03-2014, 01:46 AM
 
Location: Kaliforneea
1,234 posts, read 935,861 times
Reputation: 2029
I don't think it's tacky, but it is a bit odd to send a birthday card & gift to person who you don't personally know.

What IS tacky, is setting up a "crowdfunding" page, begging Internet strangers to send you money for dubious personal, selfish goals.
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Old 09-03-2014, 07:02 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles, CA
555 posts, read 609,178 times
Reputation: 1169
Default when a gift is not a gift...and when it doesn't matter

Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelinLow View Post
I looked at my Facebook page the other day, which I rarely do, and saw where a friend is asking her FB buddies to please send birthday cards to her mother for her 90th birthday.


She even posts her mailing address!


I don't know. It almost feels tacky in a sense. I'm not sure how to characterize it, but it didn't seem appropriate.


What do you think? Should people request cards and gifts?
OP, it's clear you don't approve of your FB friend's request. Do you feel similarly about bridal and baby registries? If you think registries (which are essentially a list of gifts people are requesting guests buy them) are OK, then perhaps it would make sense to be OK with a simple birthday card request.

Also, if the recipient was dying, would you feel it was less of a tacky request? Just curious.

On a related note, I happen to dislike wedding registries and baby registries, as they, too, are essentially people requesting gifts -- and specific ones at that. I really don't like it when gift registry cards are included in an invitation, as that's basically saying, you're invited but we expect you to bring a gift, specifically from this list of gifts we've chosen for ourselves. But I'm rather traditional about that. I still buy a pre-approved gift from their list even though I feel this way.

I also don't like it when people's relatives hold baby and bridal showers for them, as it looks like the family is requesting people shower their family member with gifts. Again, I'm pretty traditional in that I feel baby and bridal showers, if they must be given, should be given by friends, not family. I do buy from their pre-approved list even if I don't prefer to.

Card requests would fall under a similar category. I don't feel you should ever ask for a gift, because then it's not a gift. Of course, I wouldn't say anything to the person making the request, since to criticize would be tackier than the request itself.

But really, if the woman is 90 years old and I thought it would make her day to receive all those birthday cards, I could overlook any perceptions of tackiness. I mean, it's just a card -- easy enough for me to send and brighten someone's day. You know what they say: Sometimes, it's better to be kind than to be right.
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Old 09-03-2014, 12:36 PM
 
2 posts, read 804 times
Reputation: 10
Default That's a bit forward to me

I would never ask anyone for a gift for my loved ones or myself. i think sometimes people just forget to THINK!
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Old 09-04-2014, 08:01 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,573,170 times
Reputation: 45995
Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelinLow View Post
I looked at my Facebook page the other day, which I rarely do, and saw where a friend is asking her FB buddies to please send birthday cards to her mother for her 90th birthday.


She even posts her mailing address!


I don't know. It almost feels tacky in a sense. I'm not sure how to characterize it, but it didn't seem appropriate.


What do you think? Should people request cards and gifts?
She's not doing it for herself. She's doing it for her mother. She's not asking you to send a gift. She's asking you to send her elderly mother nice thoughts. Try being charitable here. Do you lie awake at night ginning up things about which to be annoyed?
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Old 09-04-2014, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Planet Woof
3,133 posts, read 3,482,976 times
Reputation: 9837
Quote:
Originally Posted by easternerDC View Post
Its just you.
Best response yet!



And yeah, I figured this out, so I am done rambling on this thread, but it will probably drone on into infinity and beyond!



Bye bye!

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