U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-03-2014, 07:04 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
2,386 posts, read 2,996,773 times
Reputation: 2838

Advertisements

I live in a homeless shelter for women. When I came here, I'd left my family because of domestic violence, and I have a pervasive history of depression and suicidal thoughts and an attempt. I came to this place for sanctuary from that until I get on my own feet. I had a disagreement with one of the transgender females here over something she and some friends of hers were saying about someone else and it was mean. So I interjected and said it's rude, and she got defensive saying "mind your business, mind your business, ain't nobody talking to you" and told me "kill yourself. I'd kill you if you won't already do it."

Of course I can't talk about how saying that to me hurt because then it makes me look like the loser and the weak one, and it will just empower her, knowing that she can make someone feel bad. So I just pretend that it had noeffect on me at all. But I'm at a time right now where I'm very isolated from anyone who really loves me and I feel alone in the world. Not having anyone on my side who was around hurt even more because it just seems it's acceptable to talk to someone like that. And sometimes I do feel depressed and I do feel suicidal and every day is a struggle. It's just hard dealing with people in your face telling you that your life has no value. My life is stressful enough and I hate living here. I'm only here because I'm afraid any other shelter may be worse.

I just feel really alone all the time with no one to turn to who cares.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-03-2014, 07:06 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 37,672,773 times
Reputation: 39054
Hopefully you are seeing a therapist.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-03-2014, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,626 posts, read 5,073,363 times
Reputation: 6766
You need a counselor. apply for the medical card and you can get one for free.

Tell a worker at the shelter or find a new shelter.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-04-2014, 06:51 AM
 
342 posts, read 348,154 times
Reputation: 338
I can't imagine how stressful that environment must be. Just be aware that that person is imbalanced and is not the kind of person you would choose to spend time with. You are around her because of circumstance. Her opinion has no true value, and she is striking out and being aggressive bcs you called her out. Not because you are a worthless person!! She probably doesn't even understand the impact of her words.

I will say that I lost a dear cousin to suicide. So anytime somebody says "I'm going to kill myself" in jest (it's a very common phrase, right?) it affects me in a way that the speaker can't even imagine.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with the added stress of the other people there. Be proud of yourself though for taking steps to better your situation. Baby steps and day by day. that's all you can do. Please keep us posted.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-04-2014, 12:09 PM
 
13,678 posts, read 13,602,613 times
Reputation: 39894
I'm glad you got out of your situation with your family - it really did sound to me like your safety was under threat with them. But please keep in mind that the people you meet in your new place are not going to necessarily be BETTER people - you're just in a more structured environment with more rules to keep people in check. These are just strangers - don't give their words or your encounters with them any meaning unless you have reason to. You certainly shouldn't give any weight to a trash-talking stranger who tells you to kill yourself - anyone who would say that is basically not a person worth knowing.

Concentrate on your next steps. Don't seek validation from the people you're currently spending time with. If you can get yourself to a therapist of any kind, please do so.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-04-2014, 03:02 PM
 
9,912 posts, read 9,307,633 times
Reputation: 8053
Do you have an abuse shelter in your area? We have one in our town and they offer counseling. It would be better than a homeless shelter. I did volunteer work at our local shelter and it's females and their children (if they have children.) Check out the battered and abused women's shelters and you can find help there.

Google Battered & Abused shelters wherever you live and see what you may find. It will be better than a homeless shelter and you can get help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-04-2014, 03:20 PM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,839,861 times
Reputation: 25432
I'm glad you got away from your brother and I'm sorry that your living situation is still difficult. If possible, pay no mind to the woman who was hateful to you. Her comment had absolutely nothing to do with you, but was a reflection of her own misery. Try not to take it personally.

At one point, didn't you have the option of living with a relative in another state? Is that still a possibility? Have you been able to find a decent job?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-04-2014, 03:49 PM
 
5,872 posts, read 5,727,513 times
Reputation: 5226
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy View Post
I live in a homeless shelter for women. When I came here, I'd left my family because of domestic violence, and I have a pervasive history of depression and suicidal thoughts and an attempt. I came to this place for sanctuary from that until I get on my own feet. I had a disagreement with one of the transgender females here over something she and some friends of hers were saying about someone else and it was mean. So I interjected and said it's rude, and she got defensive saying "mind your business, mind your business, ain't nobody talking to you" and told me "kill yourself. I'd kill you if you won't already do it."

Of course I can't talk about how saying that to me hurt because then it makes me look like the loser and the weak one, and it will just empower her, knowing that she can make someone feel bad. So I just pretend that it had noeffect on me at all. But I'm at a time right now where I'm very isolated from anyone who really loves me and I feel alone in the world. Not having anyone on my side who was around hurt even more because it just seems it's acceptable to talk to someone like that. And sometimes I do feel depressed and I do feel suicidal and every day is a struggle. It's just hard dealing with people in your face telling you that your life has no value. My life is stressful enough and I hate living here. I'm only here because I'm afraid any other shelter may be worse.

I just feel really alone all the time with no one to turn to who cares.
pay no attention to the other person, in that they sound like they have mental issues. You might wish to mention this to whomever is in charge as they ought to know someone is making threats.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-04-2014, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,570,147 times
Reputation: 39866
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy View Post
I live in a homeless shelter for women. When I came here, I'd left my family because of domestic violence, and I have a pervasive history of depression and suicidal thoughts and an attempt. I came to this place for sanctuary from that until I get on my own feet. I had a disagreement with one of the transgender females here over something she and some friends of hers were saying about someone else and it was mean. So I interjected and said it's rude, and she got defensive saying "mind your business, mind your business, ain't nobody talking to you" and told me "kill yourself. I'd kill you if you won't already do it."

Of course I can't talk about how saying that to me hurt because then it makes me look like the loser and the weak one, and it will just empower her, knowing that she can make someone feel bad. So I just pretend that it had noeffect on me at all. But I'm at a time right now where I'm very isolated from anyone who really loves me and I feel alone in the world. Not having anyone on my side who was around hurt even more because it just seems it's acceptable to talk to someone like that. And sometimes I do feel depressed and I do feel suicidal and every day is a struggle. It's just hard dealing with people in your face telling you that your life has no value. My life is stressful enough and I hate living here. I'm only here because I'm afraid any other shelter may be worse.

I just feel really alone all the time with no one to turn to who cares.
I am so sorry for how alone you are feeling and how hurt you are

Let me tell you this...hurt people, hurt people.

Can you just imagine for a second how wounded and hurt a transgender person would be?

Not that this justifies her behavior toward you! It just explains it a little, that's all.

And when you can understand WHY someone might act so horribly it can help you to realize you just cannot take it seriously or personally okay?

You know deep in your gut that your life has value! Let me reinforce that for you - YOUR LIFE HAS VALUE!

I don't blame you for hating the shelter you are living in, but I'm so proud of you for going there and getting out of the bad family situation you were in!! GOOD FOR YOU.

Now, is there any help there at the shelter for job training and counseling? That's what you need to focus on! Ignore the ugliness of your situation as much as you can.

And one more suggestion that I know is not politically correct...talk to God when you are feeling alone and scared. I believe he is right there next to you just waiting for you to invite him in.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-04-2014, 04:56 PM
 
716 posts, read 956,493 times
Reputation: 480
That comment says more about her than it does you. That is something a weak person says.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:47 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top