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Old 09-08-2014, 02:20 PM
 
917 posts, read 1,045,780 times
Reputation: 940

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
Whoa, that's a whole other story! He blew you off? He's not your best friend then if he continues to give out your number. And what good would it be if you did change your number? (which is a total PITA, if you ask me) If you gave him your new number, he would just give that number out to the next payday place.

I've never heard of people getting payday loans from other countries though. I think you need to be very up front about it, not casual. If he still blows you off then maybe you should re-evaluate this "friendship".
He hasnt been getting approved at the local businesses we have here so he goes online and applies for those. But my guess is that their call centers are out of the country since theyre the ones calling me..
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Old 09-08-2014, 02:24 PM
 
2,907 posts, read 3,026,206 times
Reputation: 8343
Give him a bad reference, and don't take calls from "Unknown numbers". And , the most important thing- tell him to ---- Off and don't talk to you or get in touch with you again. You won't be losing a friend, you'll be getting rid of some trash !!
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Old 09-08-2014, 03:04 PM
 
114 posts, read 108,996 times
Reputation: 110
I haven't read the whole thread yet, so pardon if someone has already said this.

I understand that this is a friend of yours and you don't want to seem like you don't want to help, but you've got to tell him that you will no longer be providing references for him. Plead with him to stop borrowing money from those people. I can't believe that payday loans haven't been outlawed by now.

I hate to say it, but you might have to change your number. Once those loan sharks get your phone number, you will never be fully rid of them until you change your number. I don't want to scare you, but if your friend defaults on one of those loans (and they can't reach you on your home/cell phone), they will try to dig up your work number from the internet. If your name is listed on your company's website or if you have a linkedin profile, they WILL find it. Even though it's not your loan , they will track you down at work and ask you where "John" is.

This actually happened to me when one of my family members used me as a reference. I was really taken off guard. But I did tell them that if they ever call me at work again for a debt that isn't mine, I will report them to the Federal Trade Commission. That was the end of that.

You need to put an end to this rght now before it gets any worse.
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Old 09-08-2014, 04:09 PM
 
Location: In the desert, by the mirage.
2,322 posts, read 722,443 times
Reputation: 2418
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissapla12 View Post
Ive brought it up in a casual conversation but he blew it off. I am at the point of wanting to change my number but it doesnt seem fair I have to change it because of the calls I am getting for him. Most of these are from (my guess) overseas since the # is always + and a series of numbers (example) and I cant understand the voicemails they leave me
This is not cool. Next time they call you let them know that "John Smith" died out west in Old Stump, AZ where he was crushed by a giant block of ice. One minute he's hoisting up the ice, then BAM! it all went south so fast.

Then you'll need to change your number. Not fair but you need to preserve your sanity and your peace. I tried picturing what it would be like to get 15 calls per day. That's almost 1 per waking hour. You are an angel to have put up with this for so long.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
Then he is NOT your friend, yet alone a BEST friend.
I would cut off all ties with him until he gets his addiction under control.
^^ This You can start by not giving him your new number.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScoopSeeker View Post
I hate to say it, but you might have to change your number. Once those loan sharks get your phone number, you will never be fully rid of them until you change your number. I don't want to scare you, but if your friend defaults on one of those loans (and they can't reach you on your home/cell phone), they will try to dig up your work number from the internet. If your name is listed on your company's website or if you have a linkedin profile, they WILL find it. Even though it's not your loan , they will track you down at work and ask you where "John" is.

You need to put an end to this rght now before it gets any worse.
And this ^^.

Good Luck!
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Old 09-08-2014, 05:31 PM
 
12 posts, read 15,463 times
Reputation: 20
I'm sorry but there are some people who can't be reached by asking nicely.Your friend sounds like one of them.Tell him frankly that you apologize for his inability to manage his money and that you are sorry but his actions is disrupting your life to an alarming degree.Tell him that should he fail to stop using you as a reference you will press charges.Offer to teach him how to budget as a compromise.Should he refuse send a cease and desist order to him after having it notarized.

I've seen people like your friend before,it usually takes falling flat on their face repeatedly before they realize there's an issue.




Don't worry too much about being 'rude' about it.He'll thank you for it someday.
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Old 09-08-2014, 05:35 PM
 
Location: Des Moines Metro
5,045 posts, read 5,964,254 times
Reputation: 9424
I agree with the advice:

* Explain your position (no more!)
* Change your number

In addition:

* Withhold your new number from him for now - use email or call him on a number blocked phone
* If possible break off contact with him for perhaps the next six months

I know that may sound harsh, but he has a serious problem! And those loan people are sharks. You DO NOT need them interfering with your life, as well, and they will! I know of many cases where that has happened and in several a lawyer had to get involved to get them to cease contact. They were that slimy and willing to break the law.
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Old 09-08-2014, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,904 posts, read 5,253,739 times
Reputation: 17811
When they call tell them that you never heard of him. Tell him that you are doing that.

He is no friend. Dump him.
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Old 09-08-2014, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Lebanon, OH
5,862 posts, read 6,285,149 times
Reputation: 12426
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissapla12 View Post
My friend is addicted to payday loans.


(he cant manage money)
Payday loans are the biggest ripoff ever, your friend just needs to suck it up and do with out and just stay away from these predatory lenders. He really needs to sit home at night and listen to Dave Ramsey and get his life in order.
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Old 09-08-2014, 07:06 PM
 
Location: sumter
8,504 posts, read 5,321,458 times
Reputation: 6571
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissapla12 View Post
My friend is addicted to payday loans. He recently started getting them online and they are calling me NON STOP to verify his information. Calling me up to 15x per day. I never answer but they leave tons of voicemails. I try to block them but they come in as "Unknown" so there isnt much I can do. He gets about 3 loans a month and always uses me as a reference. I tried telling a few of them that I didnt know him but it still hasnt stopped

I have known him for about 12 yrs now and he is my best friend but his payday addiction is bothering me now since theyre calling me nonstop. (not to mention theyre calling me for loans he hasnt paid yet)

Is there a polite way to tell him? I have tried before and he says he doesnt have anyone else to put as a reference and ne needs the money (he is employed but cant manage money)
If he didn't bother to ask for your permission to be used as a reference, then there is no polite way to tell him, best friend or not. That's not very polite to be making annoying phone calls to your number 15 times a day either. You need to let him know about this and tell him to stop using you as a reference. Also. private calls and unknown calls, I let go to voicemail. I figure if it's really important they will leave a message and if not, I don't worry about it.
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Old 09-08-2014, 07:57 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,593,274 times
Reputation: 46000
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
You've known him 12 years so you can pretty much be frank with him:


"Dude, these payday loans are blowing up my phone calling 15 times a day and they're calling me about your loans that you haven't paid yet. Please stop putting me down as your reference. I'll help you plan a budget because these loans are getting out of hand and I don't want to see you get into a bad financial situation."
If the guy is getting 3 payday loans a month, he's in no position to budget. But otherwise, this is on target.
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