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Old 09-09-2014, 08:48 PM
 
2,790 posts, read 2,265,524 times
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I grew up in a more traditional and conventional background, and when people look at me, they think I am quiet, shy, and conservative. I was a loud kid but due to culture and society, my active personality was suppressed for many years. For the past few years, I've found ways to let it out, like doing theater, improv, going out with different kinds of people, trying new things.. I'm not opposed to those things like partying, drinking, smoking, drugs, whatever, it's just my way of thinking is different than the more crazy kid's way of thinking. I've always seen myself as a creative, but more of the dark humor, quiet, quirky creative versus the loud, crazy, drug using creative seen by many musicians and celebrities.

I'm starting up in a creative industry now so I'm trying to learn how to work with the other type of creatives. I don't want someone to avoid me because they think I'm judging them or whatever. But when I work with these people, I probably look repulsed by some of their ideas because I either don't get it or don't think it will work. And they also feel blah about my ideas. And we're so different probably because we grew up different ways... they grew up in a social and outgoing culture who likes to party, whereas my culture's idea of partying is playing cards with a few friends on a Friday night if we get together at all. Nothing wrong with either, I'm just used to the more chilling and relaxing kind of hang outs. And even when I do go out with these party people, I get tired pretty quickly.

I seem to attract people who are also introverted and quiet and don't really want to socialize with other people. I'm so tired of that. I read that you attract people who are like you. What if you're not liking the people you attract but it's not that I don't like myself.. I just don't like that part of myself that I'm used to showing people because I don't feel that's who I am. But it's not like I can change overnight either. When I'm with the more outgoing types, I don't feel like I'm exciting enough for them. Ahh.. what to do..
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Old 09-10-2014, 02:33 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 3,061,502 times
Reputation: 4285
I am trying to understand what you say. but what I feel you need time to change your self. Have you tough of talking to a therapist that might help.
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Old 09-10-2014, 08:19 PM
 
Location: sumter
8,498 posts, read 5,318,421 times
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I'm a little stuck on traditional and conventional background for some reason. Another person can say the same thing, but their traditional and conventional background can be a lot different or completely different from yours. Just accept that people are different and we all come from different backgrounds and different culture. Don't go around thinking you are better than everybody else just because of your background and you should be fine. Just be yourself and treat everybody with respect and how you want to be treated.
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Old 09-10-2014, 11:07 PM
 
10,803 posts, read 8,012,763 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly View Post
I don't want someone to avoid me because they think I'm judging them or whatever. But when I work with these people, I probably look repulsed by some of their ideas because I either don't get it or don't think it will work. And they also feel blah about my ideas. And we're so different probably because we grew up different ways... they grew up in a social and outgoing culture who likes to party, whereas my culture's idea of partying is playing cards with a few friends on a Friday night if we get together at all. Nothing wrong with either, I'm just used to the more chilling and relaxing kind of hang outs. And even when I do go out with these party people, I get tired pretty quickly.
Despite your protests, you're harshly judging both yourself and them. Until you face up to that and are willing to move past it, you're going to remain miserably conflicted.
There's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing wrong with them. There's nothing wrong with different. Stop there, and quit trying to justify.
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Old 09-12-2014, 09:07 PM
 
73 posts, read 100,150 times
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How old are you? I ask because in my limited experience so far, it seems that folks in their younger to mid 20s worry more about being judged and think they to have to keep up with a certain crowd, they need to drink and party etc, and by 30 many folks tend to mellow out and realize that however they like to have fun is just fine, whether it's wild and social, or low key and relaxed. For example, I didn't drink alcohol until I was 21 but in college felt extremely self conscious about not drinking, like if was something I worried people would judge me for and I wouldn't fit in. But now at 30, my boyfriend doesn't drink, not for any moral/cultural/religious reason, he just doesn't like it, and no one pressures him to do so or thinks it's strange. At our age, it's just a preference, and doesn't relate to how we get along with people or not. Is this relevant to what you're talking about, or are you more talking about wanting to me more extroverted than introverted?
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