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Old 09-19-2014, 02:56 PM
 
10,813 posts, read 8,059,843 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
Did I miss something in the OP about stealing?
Do you think the thrift store is giving this stuff to him?
Quote:
He’s like a magpie for any thing bright and shiny, and he is constantly bringing home yet another bronze bowl or pewter candle-stick. His collection now fills up an entire set of shelves in the living room and is spilling over to other shelves, as well. I could put up with the junky collection of bronze, but you should see all the “stuff” he’s got stacked up in the kitchen: six coffee pots, 4 thermoses , 2 complete sets of kitchen knives stowed in their space taking wooden blocks, the world’s largest collection of Tupperware, a complete set of metal dishes (shiny!), etc., etc. Even this I could put up with, but then there’s all the food.

Any food that gets dropped off at the thrift shop to be sent along to one of the local soup kitchens gets nabbed by my housemate first.
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Old 09-19-2014, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,821,165 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
Do you think the thrift store is giving this stuff to him?
It's a thrift store. He's not buying stuff at Tiffany's. Pretty harsh to assume he's stealing. When I'm feeling down, I like to buy myself something to cheer me up. Some people go overboard doing that. The OP should find that out first and then, if in FACT he IS stealing, she should handle it appropriately. Like kick him out and call the authorities. She can ask the church accountant if sales match items that were listed as sold. Most thrift stores keep an inventory so they would know best.

Not to mention, he probably has always been a hoarder and maybe the OP just didn't know this.
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Old 09-19-2014, 03:01 PM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,221,218 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado Rambler View Post
I live in an isolated farmhouse in the country about 10 miles south of the nearest town. I’m also short of money since getting laid off from my job. This part of Colorado hasn’t gotten the news that the recession is over, and it’s very hard to find work here. So when an acquaintance approached me with the idea of renting out my spare room, it seemed like a pretty good deal for us both. He’s in the middle of a nasty divorce and needed to get out of the small house he was sharing with his soon to be ex, but the rents around here have sky rocketed thanks to an influx of oil and gas workers from out of state.

I gave him a great deal on the room and he’s always paid his rent on time, been very quiet and spends most of his time reading in his room. Perfect housemate, right? Well, not exactly. He has a second job working for the local church run thrift store. Now everyone goes to the thrift store hoping to find a treasure or at least a few bargains. I have no problems with that. I do it myself. However, my housemate has begun taking it to extremes. He’s like a magpie for any thing bright and shiny, and he is constantly bringing home yet another bronze bowl or pewter candle-stick. His collection now fills up an entire set of shelves in the living room and is spilling over to other shelves, as well. I could put up with the junky collection of bronze, but you should see all the “stuff” he’s got stacked up in the kitchen: six coffee pots, 4 thermoses , 2 complete sets of kitchen knives stowed in their space taking wooden blocks, the world’s largest collection of Tupperware, a complete set of metal dishes (shiny!), etc., etc. Even this I could put up with, but then there’s all the food.

Any food that gets dropped off at the thrift shop to be sent along to one of the local soup kitchens gets nabbed by my housemate first. My cupboards are packed to over-flowing with out of date canned goods that neither one of us will ever eat. I can’t find my own stuff anymore because it’s been pushed to the back by cans of off brand beans, past “use by” date and what have you. The fridge and the freezer the same – packed to the gills with food we’ll never eat before it goes bad. It takes me 10 minutes to find the ingredients I need to make myself a salad. Every time I open the freezer, it’s an avalanche. Yesterday was the last straw. I came home to discover every free space on the kitchen counters covered with day old baked goods. Again, we’ll never eat that stuff before it goes bad and in the meantime, it’s not going to sit on my kitchen counters – all this clutter makes me feel claustrophobic. In addition, this food should be going to feed the hungry folks at the soup kitchen where it will be quickly used up before it goes bad.

I’m tempted to gather up all this stuff and run it to the soup kitchen myself, but I don’t want to get into a fight over it with my housemate who has been OK except for this one quirk. What should I do before I’m killed by an avalanche of canned asparagus?

Tell him it is time for him to look for his own place for himself and his junk.
If he can afford to purchase all of that stuff he can afford rent.
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Old 09-19-2014, 03:08 PM
 
10,813 posts, read 8,059,843 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
If he can afford to purchase all of that stuff he can afford rent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
It's a thrift store. He's not buying stuff at Tiffany's. Pretty harsh to assume he's stealing.
OP said he is not purchasing it, he's "acquiring" it.
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Old 09-19-2014, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,821,165 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
OP said he is not purchasing it, he's "acquiring" it.

And? Acquiring means to to come into possession or ownership of. If she thinks he stole it, why not say so in the OP? If she used the wrong word then she should clarify. OP, how do you know how he is obtaining these things?
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Old 09-19-2014, 03:58 PM
 
4,126 posts, read 3,781,104 times
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This person is not "becoming" a hoarder. He is a hoarder. And likely a thief to boot. You cannot fix these people. It's a mental illness and it's very, very difficult to treat. GET HIM OUT NOW!!!! Tell him whatever nice lies you need to tell him to get him to leave on his own. I just hope you're not going to have to evict him. The sooner you tell him, the easier it will be to get him out, since everyday he is anchoring himself even more deeply in your house by virtue of the possessions he is "acquiring". Get a different roommate - screen well and charge what the market will bear.
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Old 09-19-2014, 04:02 PM
 
Location: Raleigh
1,206 posts, read 1,197,917 times
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It's a shame that your renter is stealing food meant for a food pantry. You should box it up yourself and take it there and let him know...."No more of this!"

Plus, do not offer your garage and shed as storage places for the stuff he is collecting. He'll fill those up and still need more space.

If you don't take some sort of action with this guy there will come a day when most of your space is filled with his mess and you'll never get him and his junk out.
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Old 09-19-2014, 05:02 PM
 
Location: CO/UT/AZ/NM Catch me if you can!
4,743 posts, read 4,368,044 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Threestep View Post
Please correct me - your room mate steals. He can put the loot into a garage or a shed on your property? Do not take this personal! You know about it. What if it comes out? You own property and cannot move on a whim. .....

I probably should not have used the word "acquire." I have never asked him whether he pays anything for this stuff or if they just give it to him or what. I can tell you that the ladies at the thrift shop sell everything for ridiculously low prices. I once got a pair of designer jeans there, worn once, for the grand price of $1.00. The bronze looking stuff he brings home is made from cheap metal alloys and would carry a price tag of maybe 25 cents to a $1.00 if sitting around the thrift shop. I cannot say for a fact that my housemate doesn't go up to the lady at the cash register and say "How much for this, Zelda?" And Zelda replies to him, "For you, 50 cents" and he digs two quarters out of his pocket and gives them to her. Even if he doesn't, I can't imagine anyone besides me throwing a hissy fit over that cheap cr*P. I don't like it because it's ugly and takes up too much space. I can't imagine the local Federales showing up with a warrant and a dog over a 10 cent candlestick.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123
And? Acquiring means to to come into possession or ownership of. If she thinks he stole it, why not say so in the OP? If she used the wrong word then she should clarify. OP, how do you know how he is obtaining these things?
I don't think theft is a major factor here. The food thing upsets me most because I feel it should go to the soup kitchen where it is most needed. People who have extra food bring it to the thrift shop for distribution to those in need of it. It's kind of like an honor system. For example, I've dropped off extra produce from my garden there, figuring it would find its way to whoever really needed it. My housemate is taking advantage of the system, but he's not stealing food, although I suppose you could argue that taking more than you need when there are others who need it more is not really the right think to do morally.

Last edited by Colorado Rambler; 09-19-2014 at 05:22 PM..
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Old 09-19-2014, 05:04 PM
 
5,574 posts, read 5,833,230 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by siameseifyoupls View Post
It's a shame that your renter is stealing food meant for a food pantry. You should box it up yourself and take it there and let him know...."No more of this!"
We don't know that he's stealing from the food pantry. If the food is outdated (as the OP indicated), they likely have to dispose of it, so he may be taking food that would otherwise be thrown away.

I haven't read anything from the OP that says definitively that he's stealing any of this stuff. I guess we'll have to wait for OP to return to confirm.
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Old 09-19-2014, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,562 posts, read 4,092,983 times
Reputation: 15768
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
It's a thrift store. He's not buying stuff at Tiffany's. Pretty harsh to assume he's stealing. When I'm feeling down, I like to buy myself something to cheer me up. Some people go overboard doing that. The OP should find that out first and then, if in FACT he IS stealing, she should handle it appropriately. Like kick him out and call the authorities. She can ask the church accountant if sales match items that were listed as sold. Most thrift stores keep an inventory so they would know best.

Not to mention, he probably has always been a hoarder and maybe the OP just didn't know this.
He may be working in the back, in the "intake" department, where things come in and never even get recorded if he decides there's something he likes.

The food bothers me, though -- I don't know of any thrift shop around here who accepts canned goods or baked goods -- if someone has them, they take them to a food bank (which doesn't accept outdated food) or a homeless shelter, they don't take them to a thrift shop. That's just weird.

Your house, your rules, OP. You need to say, "These two cabinets are yours. These refrigerator shelves are you. If you have any food outside these areas, they will be tossed." Same on the other junk. "Here's a shelf -- anything else needs to be stored ELSEWHERE, out of the house."

You offered to rent him a room, not a house-sized storage unit. You need to set boundaries.
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