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Old 09-21-2014, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Arizona
8,247 posts, read 8,596,826 times
Reputation: 27571

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Quote:
Originally Posted by girlfromnowhere View Post
Thanks revelated.I like your suggestion.

I am surprised to see some of the responses here - restraining order or termination - just for asking someone out to lunch...unbelievable.I am obviously not going to pursue this further once I know he isn't interested.
You already know he is not interested!
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Old 09-21-2014, 06:21 PM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,762,264 times
Reputation: 3176
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
You already know he is not interested!
I know.

But she still wants to pursue him and tell him how she feels about him.

It is a one sided relationship... her side only.

And she thinks that she can convince him to want a romantic relationship with her.

So exactly what does she accomplish by telling him that she is interested in him romantically even though he is not? That is what she needs to think about.
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Old 09-21-2014, 07:43 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,379 posts, read 24,385,676 times
Reputation: 17418
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlfromnowhere View Post
Or perhaps he is afraid of his reputation being spoiled if he is seen having lunch a young coworker (10-15 yrs age difference)
Look, you've asked us about this before. Asking again will not change the answer. This guy is NOT interested in you. You have become an obnoxious and annoying stalker.

Stop now before one of your superiors calls you in the office for a reprimand.
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Old 09-21-2014, 07:53 PM
 
894 posts, read 1,047,564 times
Reputation: 2662
Good Lord, OP, you sound like one of those crazy stalker chicks from a Lifetime movie. The guy's not interested. Don't take it personally because many people prefer not to mix business and pleasure. Move on already.
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Old 09-21-2014, 07:56 PM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,762,264 times
Reputation: 3176
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Look, you've asked us about this before. Asking again will not change the answer. This guy is NOT interested in you. You have become an obnoxious and annoying stalker.

Stop now before one of your superiors calls you in the office for a reprimand.
OP:

Regarding the bolded part in pink...

That behavior will not get any female or male a date no matter what the setting is. You need to pursue some other guy who does not work for the same company, and this needs to be done not at work. But do not resort to obnoxious and annoying behavior.

And if one of your superiors calls you their office for a reprimand, you certainly will not be pursuing this older guy for a romantic relationship after that. You will be told to keep every encounter with him strictly professional.

Your superiors will keep tabs on your behavior from that point on.
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Old 09-21-2014, 11:29 PM
 
2,638 posts, read 6,009,247 times
Reputation: 2378
Way too much FUD posts.

He asked to meet her at work. That's fine. It is NOT a clear, blatant rejection. It's a sign of something.

If he wasn't interested he would make up some excuse NOT to meet for lunch. That he's OK meeting for lunch clouds the issue.

I'm not sure what he thinks and none if us here really do. What I do know, having been in the situation, is just come out with it and prepare for the response. He might be gay, for all you know.
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Old 09-22-2014, 03:16 AM
 
Location: Long Neck,De
4,792 posts, read 8,169,841 times
Reputation: 4840
Seems like a man much older than you and in a management position is simply using good judgement in declining to meet in a non work situation.
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Old 09-22-2014, 04:24 AM
 
19,965 posts, read 30,111,427 times
Reputation: 40023
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlfromnowhere View Post
If somebody isn't interested wouldn't they just decline your lunch offer. Why would they propose meeting at a different time? FYI- I met him that morning and the conversation we had that day would have been the same exact conversation we would have had at lunch.
say you went to lunch, even as co-workers, this has potential of huge gossip and to stir the pot bigtime- even if you have no desire whatsoever towards him....you gotta know how people talk

here's scenario- say he smiles and says ok,,,let go to lunch , you get in his vehicle and go

now,,,5 coworkers with smart phones are taking pics of you in his vehicle or walking with him
and bam!! you two are now having an affair !! ( again, you have to know how others talk)


a wise mature man, particularly a manager will avoid all masked/misplaced inappropriateness

also keep in mind,,,, most managers ( I have too) go to required human resource meetings twice a year on work place culture- the main topic is sexual harassment- if a man looks at a woman the wrong way he can be accussed-
going to lunch???? has major implications - so, a wise executive will avoid this

also keep in mind,,,, don't take it personally, maybe he's been burnt a few times before,,,or maybe he doesn't trust himself around you- he cant come out and say this - so its easier just to avoid


maybe his wife is sick,,,,and he doesn't want to be seen out to lunch with a younger women- could be a 100 different reasons- don't take it personally


appreciate his professionalism
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Old 09-22-2014, 09:00 AM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,574,545 times
Reputation: 36267
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlfromnowhere View Post
Thanks revelated.I like your suggestion.

I am surprised to see some of the responses here - restraining order or termination - just for asking someone out to lunch...unbelievable.I am obviously not going to pursue this further once I know he isn't interested.

LOL...once you know he's not interested. He already told you that, he turned down lunch AND he didn't invite you join him with the people he was having lunch with.

Do you need to be hit over the head with a hammer?

Something tells me you're familiar with restraining orders. Receiving them that is.
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Old 09-22-2014, 09:44 AM
 
235 posts, read 298,281 times
Reputation: 872
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
LOL...once you know he's not interested. He already told you that, he turned down lunch AND he didn't invite you join him with the people he was having lunch with.

Do you need to be hit over the head with a hammer?

Something tells me you're familiar with restraining orders. Receiving them that is.


I agree. She's had twenty people on this forum tell her the guy's not interested and to leave him alone...but she's going to pursue him until she's really, really sure.

Given how sensitive everyone is about sexual harassment it's completely understandable that a male supervisor wouldn't want to give off any sense of impropriety by having lunch with a female co-worker. He tried to say no tactfully. Hopefully his kids don't have any pet rabbits at home...
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