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Your post reads as if you tend to be a needy person with whom others constantly have to exercise their boundaries because your needs and demands are overwhelming. Let the other readers decide which situation is "pathetic."
Bingo. My phone is MY phone. I pay the bill and I decide when or if I choose to use it. People like the aforementioned poster seem really needy, and frankly, I wouldn't give my number out to someone like this in the first place.
Most certainly yes. Or, rather, if I ran a cell phone company, it would be a requirement that you cannot go all day long ignoring people or else your phone would be disconnected. It is based simply on the premise that in getting a cell phone you are extending yourself as available--granted, not on a 24/7 basis, but certainly much more than what a home phone would imply, and it's ridiculous to get a phone and then be so stingy in that way. It's paradoxical, much as it makes no sense to get a convertible as a car only to always have the top up even on sunny 70'F days.
What color is the sky on your planet?
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguylh
I'm tired of this whole "take a hint" mentality. NO. How about just being honest and saying "I'm sorry, but I don't feel like talking, I sort of feel like being alone right now" or whatever. SAY SO. Stop with this chicken crap nonsense of lying and then claiming "busy." If you're so darn proud of your precious boundaries, at least own up to it. I tend to think that, if someone tried to put me in a position to "take a hint" instead of just being straight me along the lines of how my friend does it, I would not take a hint even if I knew it was how they felt. I would be inclined to keep on calling until they owned up to it, I might even flat-out ask them, and if they kept saying "no, no, it's not that," well then I'm going to keep on calling until you specifically ask me to stop. I am going to make you flat-out SAY that you just don't feel like talking. "Take a hint" my freaking foot. It's not happening. Own up to your boundaries, stop hiding behind fake busyness.
If you talk on the phone the way you type, there's a big reason why nobody wants to talk to you. You're scary and long-winded to boot.
Some people are genuinely busy while others fake it to seem important. I am in grad school and work 50 hours a week, yet still try to make time for family. I have a sister in law who is always posting status' on facebook about having to wake up early to get somewhere or "oh Im so busy I cant catch a break"......shes unemployed.......
In my case I got rid of my cell because it simply did not work where I live and still doesn't.
You could call me all weekend and if I never left the property... I would not know you called.
Cell phone service is not 100% and never will be.
Even at work the lead shielding in certain areas of the Hospital block cell service.
Back in the day when I carried a pager it seem to work everywhere... I would get a page and depending on how it was coded would have to find the nearest phone/cell coverage or just return the call at my convenience.
I agree with the work at home people. Some think if you work at home you are always available.
I feel sorry for the too busy people. You are missing out on a lot in life. You have to have time that is not accounted for EVERY DAY. And no, you don't have to take phone calls. Its you phone, do as you wish.
What does cousin mean anymore. Your related, that's all. I would be shocked if a cousin ever asked for a favor. Once you hit adulthood a cousin is a person you see at weddings and funerals(previously mentioned.)
I belong to AAA and OnStar. Don't ask me for a jump. Do people even do that anymore? Never had anyone call me because of car trouble.
I got rid of my cell so I wouldn't be available. I now turn off my landline when I leave home. I find most calls annoying. I try to avoid calling other people. There are 4 people that call that I will talk to for an hour or more but they are a select group.
However, I could never envision being so selfish that I spend all day at home and deliberately ignore any phone calls period. I'm sorry, I think that is totally selfish--and no, I don't think the people who called wanting to talk are "selfish for intruding on my time." That people call wanting to talk for a bit, especiall if they're not intent on talking for an hour long each time and are delicately respectful of your time and such, is seen as an "intrusion into my personal space" is just flat-out hedonistic and self-centered selfishness if I've ever heard it. I feel so strongly about that, if it were possible to implement, I would even make it the law or part of the contract one had with a cell phone or the like that one could not have a phone and do that. If you had a phone and were bad about just letting calls go to voice mail while you focused selfishly totally on yourself, and did so numerous times to the exclusion of your family, and this somehow could be detected--yes, your phone privileges, ALL of them, even emergencies, would all be permanently revoked. You want to be unreachable--by George that's what we're going to do.
This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. My time is just that ... MY time. I don't owe it to anyone else. So spending my time the way I want to and not answering my phone is selfish? You'd better believe it! I don't apologize to ANYONE for being selfish about my own time. No one else is gonna look out for me. So if I want to spend my weekend in seclusion and shut out the rest of the world, that's my right. Until YOU pay for my phone, you have absolutely NO SAY WHATSOEVER in how it's used.
The OP's opinions remind me of a book I read recently called The Circle by Dave Eggers. It's a near-future dystopian story in which the facebook types combine with the government/ government crony spying types and they change our culture pretty quickly to one in which no one has privacy, and the whole idea of having time alone is distasteful, and eventually becomes illegal. They actually adopt a slogan "Privacy=Stealing" because whenever you have privacy you're actually depriving others of your time and attention and sharing your experiences. You need to be on a webcam 24/7, and constantly posting and sharing all your thoughts on everything at all times. Your life does not belong to you, but to all of society. I really liked the book, not because of any superior writing, but because the story itself keep coming back to me even months later, as I see things in our word that remind me of it. Shyguy would fit in perfectly at The Circle; he'd probably become a high-level exec there.
Bingo. My phone is MY phone. I pay the bill and I decide when or if I choose to use it. People like the aforementioned poster seem really needy, and frankly, I wouldn't give my number out to someone like this in the first place.
Yep, I'm with you and tracysam. I have a phone mainly for emergencies and to communicate quick messages. I don't answer it if it rings when I'm with people or at an appointment or in a store or driving in my car. If someone calls and I don't answer they can leave a message and I will call them back when I have time. If they are calling just to chat for an hour then I will call them when I have the time to chat for an hour and that may not be for awhile. However, I really hate talking on the phone so if you call me just to chit chat then I may respond with an email to see what's up because the last thing I want to do is sit on the phone for an hour.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
The OP's opinions remind me of a book I read recently called The Circle by Dave Eggers. It's a near-future dystopian story in which the facebook types combine with the government/ government crony spying types and they change our culture pretty quickly to one in which no one has privacy, and the whole idea of having time alone is distasteful, and eventually becomes illegal. They actually adopt a slogan "Privacy=Stealing" because whenever you have privacy you're actually depriving others of your time and attention and sharing your experiences. You need to be on a webcam 24/7, and constantly posting and sharing all your thoughts on everything at all times. Your life does not belong to you, but to all of society. I really liked the book, not because of any superior writing, but because the story itself keep coming back to me even months later, as I see things in our word that remind me of it. Shyguy would fit in perfectly at The Circle; he'd probably become a high-level exec there.
I read that book. I really liked it and I do think it's realistic and relevant to what is going on today with Facebook, social media and people constantly glued to their phones. It's creepy!
Shyguylh...I wanted to rep you...could not, but my intention was there
Absolutely. People like me, or you, who are disillusioned with the impersonal, and rather cursory, state of communication between humans in today's world, should not be seen as "needy".
As for the one small select group of callers that I might screen out and not answer..that would have to be charities. Oh, the stories I could tell of these money-hungry wheedlers with their famous lines of, "Could we count on your support for the XYZ?" Ugh. But that's the exception for me. Guess an "amen" is in order here?
But other than that, little ole "needy" me attempts to be generous with her time whenever possible.
Exactly. Heck I have Chevron towing and I still will ask for a jump if my car dies because it takes the company an hour to show up and I only get so many a year. I save them for when there's no one around period.
This whole MY TIME vitriol is beyond ridiculous. I may be wrong because we are to forgive wrongdoing vs wanting payback, but people with this whole"ddon't bug me or ask for a tow," I wish for them to find themselves in a position of being stranded or such and be told "no" so they can get a taste of their own medicine. The "fleshy" side of me thinks they deserve it. The more proper response is for hoping for a change of heart and wishing them well and simply being the bigger person. That's why I do things like offering my spare outlet at McDonalds for people with dead phones scrambling for a place to charge even as I show them the accommodation I've come up with for my own self, I keep spare "power bank" batteries so I can charge my phone anytime anywhere no power outlet required.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguylh
Exactly. Heck I have Chevron towing and I still will ask for a jump if my car dies because it takes the company an hour to show up and I only get so many a year. I save them for when there's no one around period.
This whole MY TIME vitriol is beyond ridiculous. I may be wrong because we are to forgive wrongdoing vs wanting payback, but people with this whole"ddon't bug me or ask for a tow," I wish for them to find themselves in a position of being stranded or such and be told "no" so they can get a taste of their own medicine. The "fleshy" side of me thinks they deserve it. The more proper response is for hoping for a change of heart and wishing them well and simply being the bigger person. That's why I do things like offering my spare outlet at McDonalds for people with dead phones scrambling for a place to charge even as I show them the accommodation I've come up with for my own self, I keep spare "power bank" batteries so I can charge my phone anytime anywhere no power outlet required.
If I need a tow or jump, I call the service I paid for to do it BECAUSE I don't want to be selfish and intrude on my friends free time. Wanting your friends and family to be an unlimited source of free labor is the height of selfishness IMO.
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