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Old 09-22-2014, 09:33 AM
 
Location: New Haven, CT
1,033 posts, read 3,418,037 times
Reputation: 906

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Hello everyone.

So I live with a close female friend of mine in her house. I've known her for around 8 years. She respect my opinions and considers any advice she needs to talk about.

She has a group of chick friends of which I guess you could say I'm friends with, they come over most weekends and chat about life and boyfriends and career stuff etc.

One particular girl, seems to attack me for everything I have to say. My opinions are always negative and obviously always wrong to her. She won't hesitate to let everyone in the room know not to listen to me when I say something. I'm almost 28 and they are just a couple years younger than myself.

My roommate and I have some close personal conversations and she knows where I'm at with my thoughts and life. So really I don't need to prove myself to anyone as long as she values my opinion.

Bottom line is, I don't really care about what any of these people think of me, I met all of them through my roommate and I care about her the most. She doesn't give me trouble in the least.

I just wonder why this one girl goes after me, especially when some of the other girls are clearly not thinking straight.

My first thought was she's just having trouble with her own life and is starting to realize that you need to work for a living instead of living in a fantasy.

It doesn't bother me because its my own life and I'm happy, she's never going to live a day in my shoes but I can't help but question why this happens...

Any women out there have an opinion?
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Old 09-22-2014, 09:49 AM
 
235 posts, read 239,879 times
Reputation: 861
The girl goes after you because she's probably a bitter hag who needs someone to lash out at for all her problems.

My mother is the same way. Miserable, hates her life and whenever anyone offers constructive criticism she gets defensive and starts screaming at you. For some people misery is their security blanket, don't take it personally.
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Old 09-22-2014, 10:01 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 37,664,790 times
Reputation: 39054
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewHavensFinest View Post
I just wonder why this one girl goes after me
What did she say when you asked her?
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Old 09-22-2014, 10:45 AM
 
Location: New Haven, CT
1,033 posts, read 3,418,037 times
Reputation: 906
I haven't confronted her about it. I kinda just walk away after a while and don't let it bother me. It's just annoying when there's new females around and she discredits me before I even say something.

When it's just my roomate and her she will tell me I'm negative with every thing I say.

Most of those conversations have to do with relationships though.

I think I'm far from negative, I also think they over dramatize things.

Example: roomate asks me about a guy and why he could be calling her to hang out on weekends but never wants to hang during the week and why when they hangout he's on his phone a lot.

My response seems pretty clear: I think if he liked you he would make an attempt to hangout during the week. He probably just wants to hookup and is probably talking to another chick also.

There's been other occasions like this and I'll simply tell her to forget about that dude don't waste your time if he's not trying. He doesn't like you enough or he just wants a hookup.

They'll pretty much tell me I'm negative and it's annoying.
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Old 09-22-2014, 10:56 AM
 
235 posts, read 239,879 times
Reputation: 861
Some people, especially us women, don't like to hear the truth.

Regarding a guy not wanting to hang out, you gave her an honest (and likely correct) answer and she just didn't want to hear it. An insecure woman would rather fabricate a zillion excuses rather than just admit a guy's not into her. She'll convince herself he's really busy with work, or likes to get to bed early so he can workout in the morning or he spends his evenings helping deaf mutes learn sign language.

I wouldn't even bother engaging in the conversation, especially if they make you out to be the bad guy.
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Old 09-22-2014, 11:02 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 3,082,362 times
Reputation: 4286
Woman from unhappy pit. I had also a woman who was saying things just what ever comes to her mouth. Jealousy also a reason, mostly look like a insecure woman. The people who try to prove things or try to show that they know better than any one else those are real unhealthy creature. Take it easy ignore her next time.
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Old 09-22-2014, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
6,905 posts, read 3,843,445 times
Reputation: 16357
Maybe she likes you and you aren't getting it and she's frustrated.
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Old 09-22-2014, 03:56 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,988 posts, read 14,677,040 times
Reputation: 14877
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewHavensFinest View Post

My first thought was she's just having trouble with her own life and is starting to realize that you need to work for a living instead of living in a fantasy.

This may tie into it. Did you refer to something specific, or just happen to throw this in from nothing?

If she applies fantasy to her work life - it may stand to reason that she applies it to other parts of life and you are the "downer" that tries to bring in reality.
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Old 09-22-2014, 04:36 PM
 
1,035 posts, read 1,655,549 times
Reputation: 2156
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewHavensFinest View Post
Hello everyone.

So I live with a close female friend of mine in her house. I've known her for around 8 years. She respect my opinions and considers any advice she needs to talk about.

She has a group of chick friends of which I guess you could say I'm friends with, they come over most weekends and chat about life and boyfriends and career stuff etc.

One particular girl, seems to attack me for everything I have to say. My opinions are always negative and obviously always wrong to her. She won't hesitate to let everyone in the room know not to listen to me when I say something. I'm almost 28 and they are just a couple years younger than myself.

My roommate and I have some close personal conversations and she knows where I'm at with my thoughts and life. So really I don't need to prove myself to anyone as long as she values my opinion.

Bottom line is, I don't really care about what any of these people think of me, I met all of them through my roommate and I care about her the most. She doesn't give me trouble in the least.

I just wonder why this one girl goes after me, especially when some of the other girls are clearly not thinking straight.

My first thought was she's just having trouble with her own life and is starting to realize that you need to work for a living instead of living in a fantasy.

It doesn't bother me because its my own life and I'm happy, she's never going to live a day in my shoes but I can't help but question why this happens...

Any women out there have an opinion?
So if your roommate didn't value your opinion, you'd need to prove yourself then?

I don't say that to be a d*ck about it being a contradiction of sorts. I say that because you've suggested that the two of you are very close, respect each other, have an intimate understanding of one another, can talk about anything, yada yada yada...

... yet you didn't mention having talked to her about the fact that she regularly allows someone who makes a habit of mistreating you into her home that you share with her. If it were me and you were really as close as you claim, I'd tell her to get off your back and respect you while under my roof or respectfully get out of my house.

I don't stand by allow someone I care about to be in any way harassed, belittled, bullied, or otherwise, even by someone else I may care about, least of all if I understand them in ways others may not. I'd be inclined to defend them.

So I can't help asking where the rest of this story is, especially given some of the emphasis you placed on your opinions and it being your own life. What opinions, exactly, are you feeling compelled to share when they're around and what about your life, exactly, would someone have a problem with?

You're a dude? Are you gay or straight (or neither lol)? And how old is your roommate? Is she also just a couple of years younger? I asked those questions mainly to throw out there that sometimes, when a girl is hostile towards a guy that her friend spends a lot of time with, lives with, etc, it's because she feels that guy is a negative influence on her friend and she simply wants him out of the picture.

Your sexuality, your age, your lifestyle, and whatever these opinions are that you have "close personal conversations about" might all be relevant to that.
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Old 09-24-2014, 02:51 PM
 
Location: The City That Never Sleeps
2,043 posts, read 4,862,813 times
Reputation: 3336
If you're a guy, I would just say to her "you seem to have a problem with everything I say. is there a reason for that?" Just be up front 'cos that scheit will never end. I would say it politely and with a smile, but assertively. Otherwise ignore her. Maybe she's the "alpha" of the that female clique or the beta who thinks she's the alpha. Also, some women (or girls) don't like men in general. They're bitter. Just like there are guys who dislike women and only use them, there are women who are the same way. I have a girlfriend like that for many years. She's very similar around men.
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