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If you want to do something in someone's memory donate to their favorite charity.
That's great for you, but not everyone would want that. I would think it was stupid if someone did it for someone in my family. Honestly, I don't think most people have a "favorite" charity, especially younger drivers. For most people the draw is being near the place where their loved one left this earth. You don't replace that feeling and spiritual connection with anything.
As far as a memorial on your land, I agree with many others; Its OK for a short while, but then its gone. And if its on private property they should get permission first.
That's great for you, but not everyone would want that. I would think it was stupid if someone did it for someone in my family. Honestly, I don't think most people have a "favorite" charity, especially younger drivers.
I would strongly disagree.
Almost everyone I know DOES have a favorite charity... even kids. I know many in your area that are partial to Mission to Seafarers!
Kids in my neighborhood just had a bake sale to raise money for the Free Care Fund at Childrens Hospital Pittsburgh.
Just because YOU think it is a 'stupid' idea doesn't mean it is....
Last edited by Pitt Chick; 09-30-2014 at 07:12 PM..
Wow - this is an interesting topic. If this was me, I would wait a couple of months. Then I would contact the family and offer them the option of a "permanent" memorial (small plaque, planting a tree, etc) in place of the makeshift memorial.
If the family tended to it and it brought them peace, then yes, i would not touch it. I would appreciate positive healing energy being brought to my property if there was a death there.
If family did not tend to it, idk. I would probably remove the "whatever" (i'm assuming dying flowers, dirty teddy bears, and or/stick crosses) and put something more small and permanent in the spot that did not need upkeep. Maybe a painted rock or wooden plaque on a tree.
Nope. Anybody puts that on my property, it would be gone in the morning. I think such things are distracting, depressing, and unnecessary. You really want to do something to honor the departed...talk your local Department of Transportation into putting a light or a speed bump or taking down a tree that's too close to the road. There's a street near us with five or six 'memorials' because it's dangerous, esp. in the rain. If those families got together, they could make it so that nobody else dies there...but they'd rather be sticking out teddy bears and fake flowers.
Would you leave a similar memorial up if it wasn't being tended to by the family? If it was?
I have a simply procedure on such things. If it is on private property it is none of my concern.
If it is on public property I check if it has been approved by the local council or Town hall etc etc.
If not then I clear it up, throw it in a skip, and report the illegal crime of littering / illegal dumping to the local police. Not always in that order.
If it is somewhere between public and private and I can not make the call myself - I seek the advice of my local police.
Grief is horrible and they have my sympathy. But it is not an excuse to break laws.
Clearly this is an emotive issue for you but I will simply have to let the moderators deal with the language in your post. But I will reply to the actual content part.
Yes I do see a problem with dumping pieces of wood at the side of the road. We have laws against it for a reason. They are a distraction - and eye sore - a hazard. But for some reason if people hammer the two pieces of wood together and call it a memorial cross - the law is somehow meant to not apply to them any more?
Not happening.
There are a multitude of ways for people in grief to build memorials. Defacing public areas or littering does not have to be one of them.
Nope. Anybody puts that on my property, it would be gone in the morning. I think such things are distracting, depressing, and unnecessary. You really want to do something to honor the departed...talk your local Department of Transportation into putting a light or a speed bump or taking down a tree that's too close to the road. There's a street near us with five or six'memorials' because it's dangerous, esp. in the rain. If those families got together, they could make it so that nobody else dies there...but they'd rather be sticking out teddy bears and fake flowers.
On the few occasions when I have seen spots with multiple memorials my first thought was that glancing at or being distracted by a previous memorial caused additional accidents.
But, if it is an unsafe spot, getting the government to fix it is better than a dozen fading, deteriorating teddy bears, candles in glass jars and fake flowers.
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