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Old 10-04-2014, 12:29 PM
 
Location: usa
873 posts, read 1,356,284 times
Reputation: 313

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I'll try to make this as brief as possible. I have a 24 year old sister that has a 5 year old kid. Both live at home with her parents (her dad is my stepfather). Once I graduated high school ten years ago, I moved away for college and only lived at home when I was unemployed after graduation. Since then I've lived with relatives in different states while working and I moved out on my own this year. Anyway, my sister (along with parents) have a lot of issues. Which is one of the reasons I no longer live near them. My parents probably make combined 60-80k or even more salary. But they live outside of their means and have caused a financial strain on themselves. They have on several occasions requested that my sister pay for things on her credit card. She in turn as a lot of debt bc of it. Which she complains to me about. Also my sister didn't go to college because my niece was born less than a year after her hs graduation and my parents never forced her to go. I have to constantly hear how much she regrets it. Recently I received a call from a relative saying that my sister stole $1000 from my cousin who recently moved with my parents to get on his feet. She denied the whole thing, but the police have her on camera withdrawing the funds. I'm so sick of hearing about all of the drama that goes on! Of course I'm concerned about my niece. I want the best for her, but I just can't deal with it anymore.
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Old 10-04-2014, 01:46 PM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 3,077,467 times
Reputation: 4286
auch that is hard... but any idea why she is not going to live on her own? I am sure she might have some issues if she steel like that and she gives the worst ideas to poor kid too. So the sister is your stepfathers daughter? And you mother still let her live there? as far as you are away keep your head clean. try not to think too much about it. I know for me it is very easy to type but I know it is hard to get it done. But I think you need to focus on your life.
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Old 10-04-2014, 01:54 PM
 
Location: usa
873 posts, read 1,356,284 times
Reputation: 313
She only makes $13 hour. Can't afford to and doesn't want government assistance.
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Old 10-04-2014, 01:57 PM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 3,077,467 times
Reputation: 4286
Quote:
Originally Posted by futureATLien View Post
She only makes $13 hour. Can't afford to and doesn't want government assistance.
I think her father does everything for her that is why she is refusing,, when some one get used to for free living no one wants to do any thing. At some point they need to be serious about she go and live on her own. what your mother say about this is she already going nuts too?
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Old 10-04-2014, 02:03 PM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,754,510 times
Reputation: 26716
You have been posting about your family and money issues and them bleeding you dry for a year now and your sister and their demands on her.

They are old enough to play the hand they were dealt from their own stack. Either you move on with your life and make a holiday appearance now and then or I'm getting convinced you are somehow in love with this drama. It's been non stop with the same issue. Move on get over it. Your niece is not your daughter. Her mother needs to raise her as she sees fit. I have 2 nephews and I am not their parents. I don't even speak to my brother (their father) but still do things with them, but it's not my place to make their world rainbows and candy canes 365 days a year.

A whole YEAR of posting about this is quite redundant. In a perfect world - what the hell do you want?
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Old 10-04-2014, 02:09 PM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,754,510 times
Reputation: 26716
Quote:
Originally Posted by futureATLien View Post
She only makes $13 hour. Can't afford to and doesn't want government assistance.
If she won't take the opportunities and assistance available to her from the community then she's just dense. It's there for people who are struggling. It's not FREE money. If she's worked she's paid into that very fund set up as a safety net. It's part of her own money.

She'll take it from your parents and you but not the government? That makes no sense if she wants out of their home and be more independent.
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Old 10-04-2014, 05:50 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 5,714,983 times
Reputation: 11933
I think you need to deal with your Jealousy issues.
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Old 10-04-2014, 05:58 PM
 
Location: usa
873 posts, read 1,356,284 times
Reputation: 313
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
I think you need to deal with your Jealousy issues.
trust me. I'm not jealous at all. I don't have a reason to be jealous.
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Old 10-04-2014, 06:00 PM
 
Location: usa
873 posts, read 1,356,284 times
Reputation: 313
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
You have been posting about your family and money issues and them bleeding you dry for a year now and your sister and their demands on her.

They are old enough to play the hand they were dealt from their own stack. Either you move on with your life and make a holiday appearance now and then or I'm getting convinced you are somehow in love with this drama. It's been non stop with the same issue. Move on get over it. Your niece is not your daughter. Her mother needs to raise her as she sees fit. I have 2 nephews and I am not their parents. I don't even speak to my brother (their father) but still do things with them, but it's not my place to make their world rainbows and candy canes 365 days a year.

A whole YEAR of posting about this is quite redundant. In a perfect world - what the hell do you want?
I want my family to stop bugging me about these issues because they don't concern me at all.
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Old 10-04-2014, 06:20 PM
 
4,787 posts, read 9,292,750 times
Reputation: 12632
They can't bug you unless you let them. They bug you because you respond to their nonsense. You're choosing to let them annoy you.

Let phone calls go to voice mail. Do not respond to texts immediately. Ignore and/or delete any communications that involve drama. Phone, text, email, etc.

Stay in touch with them only on your terms. That means you call your family only when you feel like it- keep contact to a bare minimum. When you talk to them, stay off topic of any drama. If they start up with money, etc., just cut it short and say " got to go now". and hang up.

Remember, you are in charge of your life. You determine how you want to live it. If you're not mature enough to do that, then you can expect the craziness to continue. in other words, put the past behind you. Move on to your future. Other people are not going to live their lives the way you want them to .
Recognize that. It's something over which you have no control. Let it go.
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