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You know these people. Pushy, controlling, rude, inflexible, impatient, many times perfectionists and often times difficult to deal with. There's someone in my life that I can't avoid and I don't know how to deal with them. So how do you deal with these A-holes?
Seriously, you have to learn to say two simple words: NO! and STOP! And don't make your door a revolving one!
I've worked for this type of personality, which is the most difficult because we have to earn a paycheck, right? But I don't choose those types for friends, and I don't tolerate that bull---- from family members just because they're related.
I do think we need to be know more about your situation, though. Care to clue us in a little more?
You know these people. Pushy, controlling, rude, inflexible, impatient, many times perfectionists and often times difficult to deal with. There's someone in my life that I can't avoid and I don't know how to deal with them. So how do you deal with these A-holes?
I cannot, my ex had those qualities too including many more. when I say NO over the moon mad when ask STOP he asks me "who you think you are to tell me to stop" I simply cannot deal with those people. That is why I am divorced. But if the person is relative other than a partner keep distance, that is the best. This type of people never change. Parents of a friend like that.
You know these people. Pushy, controlling, rude, inflexible, impatient, many times perfectionists and often times difficult to deal with. There's someone in my life that I can't avoid and I don't know how to deal with them. So how do you deal with these A-holes?
Avoid at much as possible! Can`t do that? Ignore. Distance.
You know these people. Pushy, controlling, rude, inflexible, impatient, many times perfectionists and often times difficult to deal with. There's someone in my life that I can't avoid and I don't know how to deal with them. So how do you deal with these A-holes?
Type-A's are driven by a deep insecurity that they're not good enough, which is why all their focus is on "doing" instead of "being". All the i's have to be dotted and the t's have to be crossed, because type-A's don't trust that they have any intrinsic worth to fall back on.
The best way I've found to deal with these people is to express very little emotion around them. They are control freaks, so they want to see that you're on the same page as them - they want you to be tough, decisive, organized, driven, and committed. No room for emotion, self-reflection, sharing, connecting. All of that means nothing to them.
Type-A's are driven by a deep insecurity that they're not good enough, which is why all their focus is on "doing" instead of "being". All the i's have to be dotted and the t's have to be crossed, because type-A's don't trust that they have any intrinsic worth to fall back on.
The best way I've found to deal with these people is to express very little emotion around them. They are control freaks, so they want to see that you're on the same page as them - they want you to be tough, decisive, organized, driven, and committed. No room for emotion, self-reflection, sharing, connecting. All of that means nothing to them.
How bizarre to define Type-A behavior as fundamentally pathological. Your definition seems to contain many contradictions. Are you claiming that the more intrinsic self worth a person has (i.e., the more towards the extreme Type-B end of the spectrum he is) the less he will give a damn about doing a good job? Therefore, doing a half-assed, sloppy job is mentally healthy while caring about the accuracy and quality of one's work is fundamentally pathological because it's driven by "deep insecurity"? More than bizarre - not valid. In fact, the opposite is true; people with a feeling of self-worth will WANT to be conscientious about what they do and will care about the quality and accuracy of their work.
Some tasks absolutely require conscientiousness. Imagine the scientists and technicians who develop new vaccines (which benefit all humanity, by the way); if they didn't dot all the i's and cross all the t's, do you think their work would be successful?
It is quite amazing that you take good qualities such as drive, organization, commitment, and decisiveness and wish to turn them into pathologies. Would their opposites then (in your mind) become desirable traits? Disorganization, lack of commitment, indecisiveness, and lack of drive?
Have you actually thought this through, or are you reacting in anger and bitterness to someone who didn't treat you right who was a Type-A? Your father, perhaps? Or an ex boy friend or husband?
How bizarre to define Type-A behavior as fundamentally pathological. Your definition seems to contain many contradictions. Are you claiming that the more intrinsic self worth a person has (i.e., the more towards the extreme Type-B end of the spectrum he is) the less he will give a damn about doing a good job? Therefore, doing a half-assed, sloppy job is mentally healthy while caring about the accuracy and quality of one's work is fundamentally pathological because it's driven by "deep insecurity"? More than bizarre - not valid.
Some tasks absolutely require conscientiousness. Imagine the scientists and technicians who develop new vaccines (which benefit all humanity, by the way); if they didn't dot all the i's and cross all the t's, do you think their work would be successful?
It is quite amazing that you take good qualities such as drive, organization, commitment, and decisiveness and wish to turn them into pathologies. Would their opposites then (in your mind) become desirable traits? Disorganization, lack of commitment, indecisiveness, and lack of drive?
Have you actually thought this through, or are you reacting in anger and bitterness to someone who didn't treat you right who was a Type-A? Your father, perhaps? Or an ex boy friend or husband?
My father was hardly type-A. But that's besides the point.
You're overreacting to what I said. I did not say that hard working or conscientious people were fundamentally pathological. Possessing positive qualities such as those does not equal a type-A personality.
We most likely have a different definition of what the type-A personality is. But yes, people who are high-strung and hold themselves to impossible standards and MUST control everything all the time - yes, those people have a problem. And it's rooted in insecurity, as ANY controlling behavior is.
A type-A personality cannot let go. They cannot ALLOW themselves to go with the flow because they do not TRUST that things will turn out ok if they do. They are operating from a place of fear. That is not healthy. It might end up producing positive results, but I guarantee you that person is not fundamentally happy.
My father was hardly type-A. But that's besides the point.
You're overreacting to what I said. I did not say that hard working or conscientious people were fundamentally pathological. Possessing positive qualities such as those does not equal a type-A personality.
We most likely have a different definition of what the type-A personality is. But yes, people who are high-strung and hold themselves to impossible standards and MUST control everything all the time - yes, those people have a problem. And it's rooted in insecurity, as ANY controlling behavior is.
A type-A personality cannot let go. They cannot ALLOW themselves to go with the flow because they do not TRUST that things will turn out ok if they do. They are operating from a place of fear. That is not healthy. It might end up producing positive results, but I guarantee you that person is not fundamentally happy.
Well, given the clarification of your thinking above, I see that we are not as far apart as I first concluded. However, if you re-read your post #7 and compare it to your post #9, there are vast differences in the way you expressed yourself.
I certainly accept your clarifications. I was probably overreacting to what you meant, but I don't think I was overreacting to what you wrote. In fact, I was careful to quote your own language back.
And yes, "we most likely have a different definition of what the type-A personality is". Thanks for your response.
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