My Mom is obsessed with my childhood

[downtownnola]

Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl

I've seen this with several mothers in my family, especially the ones I would classify as helicopter moms. Their kids have grown and left the nest and they can't stop talking about the golden childhoods. They even spend a lot of time interacting with their kids' old friends even though the adult-kids have moved on to new towns and other social groups. One of them even had her children's bedrooms preserved like movie sets with their little clothes still in the drawers, their school memories and trophies displayed on shelves, and their special-interest posters on the wall. The offspring think this is crazy and encourage her to re-purpose the rooms but she can't bear the thought that they would throw all the "stuff" away if she turned it over to them.

I suspect as you do, downtownnola, that your mom is a bit unhappy with the fact you and your brother are not living the fantasy she had spun for herself when you two were youths. So she focuses on the happier past she remembers. I don't know what you can do except to redirect the conversations when she starts up with this. Perhaps you could encourage her to get involved with new interests. If she likes little kids so much, she'd probably be a great classroom assistant at an elementary school or a reader at a children's library, if she has time.

My mother, who lives with me, is now nearing 90 and if I indulged her, I swear all her conversations would be reminiscences, often about HER childhood. I've heard all the stories a thousand times and it gets really old. I often break into the monologue and say, "Let's stop walking down memory lane, Mom. Did you watch the news today? What's the weather report for tomorrow ... or who won the baseball game ... or how about that ISIS?" She scowls at me, but it does usually break the reverie.

Good luck learning to deal with this. Sad to say, it probably won't get a lot better unless perhaps one of you gentlemen coughs up some grandchildren (hey, being gay is no excuse these days).

Funny enough, my Mom is actually an Elementary school teacher. Maybe being around the kids all day long just makes her naturally reminisce about when my brother and I were children.

I know that it's not intentional, as I know she looks back on my childhood memories fondly. I now live half way across the country from her and my brother lives in another town, so I think she misses having us around more (I take that as a compliment). I think that a part of me just feels bad that I didn't fulfill the fantasy that she had for my life, and I want her to be able to enjoy her life in the present (even though I know she does).

[woxyroxme]

My mom will only bring up negative things when discussing my childhood, usually in front of an audience. There are 10 times as many positive things she could bring up but I guess that would not get her as much attention.