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My Dad passed away in 2009. Since that time, my family and me have bent over backwards to help my mom. It was a promise my hubby gave to my Dad. My mom has abused that to the nth degree. Despite that, I did what I could for her.
My mom has put me in a no win situation. She redid her will and cut my family and me out. She's given everything to my sister and her kids. Honestly, I don't care about material possessions. What bothers me to the core is she left my child out. And, if I protest it, I loose the what little she's giving me.
As a result, I cut off all communication in July, despite the fact she's 15 minutes down the road.
Since that time, my family and me have received nasty letters, phone calls, threats, and unusual Facebook inquiries by relatives and her friends. I have since blocked some people.
I even got a phone call from the hospital stating she was too out of it to drive home after a monthly treatment (which means she dosed prior to her treatment, as well as, what they gave her). I simply told them I was out of town (which I was).
And, if I don't respond to her latest threat we loose our half of the sale of the house, a couple of hundred thousand dollars. And, she's decided how we should spend it. I'm darned if I do, and damn ed if I don't. Knowing her, we're already written out of the will.
Sadly, my sister is just like her and she wouldn't think twice about taking our share, as evidenced by her cleaning my mom's house out over two weekend, without me being present. She's has only been in my mom's house 4 times since my Dad died. She uses her children, who are now in college, as an excuse.
And if that wasn't enough, my mom stooped to a new low. She has convinced a good friend to put her 92 year old husband in a nursing home and is having her move in her house. Her greatest fear is that she will end up in a nursing home/assisted living facility. It's okay for someone else, but not her. Unreal!
Technically, she has a very slow growing lung cancer. She has had it for at least 7 years. Every day, she's dying from something. She's the world's biggest hypochondriac. She's always sick.
She has even planned her funeral to a T! She's written her obituary and designed it so that the funeral home picks us up from her house. I've never known someone so obsessive about dying. (She won't seek out professional help.) As a baby, she was diagnosed with a "hysterical personality." The term has been updated, but the behavior is the same.
I just don't understand her obsessive, compulsion to attempt to try to control and manipulate me. She's done it my whole life. At age 45, I'm over it. Plain and simple, she has burnt me out.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Last edited by breedingkellys; 10-07-2014 at 02:06 AM..
Reason: thanks
very familiar situation one of my friends going through the same. Is that possible she is in some sort of mental disorder. Some trauma or something she went as a child. But my friend going through the same. She said last week she had no choice other than stop completely seeing her mother or siblings.
Yes, she has a hysterical personality. As a child her Dad remarried after her mom fell ill. She never accepted her step mom. She has zero contact with her brothers. Their story of her childhood and hers are vastly different.
She's the kind of person who if she says something enough times, she believes it. She would argue that the leaves on trees are blue, just bc she has to be right all the time.
Wherever she goes, drama or "illness" follows.
My friend is totally out since two or three years. And her siblings also like throw hay to fire. you know what I mean when her mother is manipulative they put more ideas, feeding her thing against my friend, and her mother had a terrible past as well. But I hear they go to a therapy with her mother. May be is that something for your mother? Or do you already did that? Darkest moment is the best moment to learn about the people around you.
I'm completely for counseling. However, she always knows what's best and "the shrinks are all quacks." She'll tell whomever to, "F-off and stay out of my (her) business." She has quite a temper. She won't face up to any short coming, even if it's constructive. All that from a Southern Belle!
The hardest part is she's running her mouth to any and everyone about me. She, honestly, doesn't know me. I can thank my luck stars that people know me for who I am. I've not had one person ask me about this situation.
I can only assume she's coming across as the north bound side of a south bound donkey.
I just don't get her need to tear me down at every turn. I thought family was supposed to be a support unit.
My husband seems to think she's extremely jealous of our relationship. We are very much in love and enjoying our lives together.
I would suggest a drawing back from the drama in your mind. You probably will also need some counseling to eventually deal with the loss. And it is a loss. A loss of mother's love and interest. A loss of a normal relationship.
Venting is actually good because when many write down the drama, it helps to lessen it in our mind.
An inheritance is probably not going to happen anyway since much will be used for her care. I am sorry you also seem to have lost the support of your sister but she also lived with your mother and may have taken in more of her traits or may have great anger also.
Take great joy in your marriage and the family you have created and let it be your support in this time. Do not let your mom take any part of it in emotion or time.
I'm completely for counseling. However, she always knows what's best and "the shrinks are all quacks." She'll tell whomever to, "F-off and stay out of my (her) business." She has quite a temper. She won't face up to any short coming, even if it's constructive. All that from a Southern Belle!
The hardest part is she's running her mouth to any and everyone about me. She, honestly, doesn't know me. I can thank my luck stars that people know me for who I am. I've not had one person ask me about this situation.
I can only assume she's coming across as the north bound side of a south bound donkey.
I just don't get her need to tear me down at every turn. I thought family was supposed to be a support unit.
My husband seems to think she's extremely jealous of our relationship. We are very much in love and enjoying our lives together.
That is quiet possible. My friends mother call her husband to say bad things about her. If you have a good husband please focus on your marriage. Because you cannot make every one happy.
Have you googled mothers who are narcissist's? My mother is one, has some similar traits.
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