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Old 10-11-2014, 12:14 PM
 
9,204 posts, read 4,238,914 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
I have Facebook. I love it. I have had so many great people re-enter my life through it, people with whom I had lost touch over the years.

But the problem with this post is it assumes that all people walk around with no intervening filter between brain and mouth. Funny, but most people don't just vomit out the first thing that pops into their heads.

This is otherwise known as wisdom.
I respectfully disagree. Sure not "all people" fall into that category(nor any category for that matter), but a fair number of them do. Given some time to reflect would keep them out of trouble. But many will have a knee jerk reaction to something, be emotional, and say something inappropriate. They also have their narcissism stroked by thinking every little thing that goes on in their life needs to be publicly broadcast. How else can you explain why professionals put things on their facebook page that results in them losing their careers over it?

If people wish to engage in social media for all the world to see that is their prerogative. However it comes with a set of problems few think about until it bites them in the rear end.

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Old 10-11-2014, 12:59 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,593,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vector1 View Post
I respectfully disagree. Sure not "all people" fall into that category(nor any category for that matter), but a fair number of them do. Given some time to reflect would keep them out of trouble. But many will have a knee jerk reaction to something, be emotional, and say something inappropriate. They also have their narcissism stroked by thinking every little thing that goes on in their life needs to be publicly broadcast. How else can you explain why professionals put things on their facebook page that results in them losing their careers over it?

If people wish to engage in social media for all the world to see that is their prerogative. However it comes with a set of problems few think about until it bites them in the rear end.

`
Well, in my book, "a fair number" doesn't constitute a majority. And those people I can pretty much ignore.
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Old 10-11-2014, 01:39 PM
 
9,204 posts, read 4,238,914 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Well, in my book, "a fair number" doesn't constitute a majority. And those people I can pretty much ignore.
No offense, but now you are playing semantics. If there is any doubt as to what I mean, it is a large number. Another words, I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that a majority (i.e. 51%) have something on their facebook/twitter page/history which is questionable. Furthermore if you include rude, inappropriate comments, there is no doubt it would be a majority. I know this from having heard and read enough stories of people who get themselves into trouble over stupid immature things that they publicly broadcast to the world.

For a personal example, my son is an athlete at a Catholic school and he also has a facebook page. The coach demands every player "friend him" so he can look at all the photos, comments, etc. to make sure nothing is considered inappropriate.
Sure enough he says every season he must have all his players remove stuff. This is true of HS and college coaches who must worry about the FHSAA and the NCAA among a host of others.

Keep in mind that most people with personal facebook accounts are kids and young adults, so their maturity level is low to begin with. Combine that with the culture they are being brought up in, and there is little wonder why so many are rude, crude, etc. on social media.

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Old 10-11-2014, 06:50 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,670 posts, read 6,964,922 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirt Grinder View Post
The problem I have discussing these topics with friends/folks who disagree with my views is when they resort to insults like "I always thought you were intelligent" or something to that effect. I don't feel the need to convert someone to my views, and I don't think an honest discussion has to spiral into a red-faced debate.
I always figured friends respect each other for the individuals they are, and respect their rights to have their own political and personal perspectives, even if they differ. They may well agree to disagree on any number of topics, but remarks such as you mention, calling a friend's intelligence into question because of a difference in perspective smacks more along the line of a personal attack, which IMO friends don't do.

I've got several old friends whose political perspectives are as about as far away from mine as it's possible to get. We've agreed to disagree on those topics for many years, and we're still friends.
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Old 10-11-2014, 11:39 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
55,597 posts, read 54,202,806 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellflower View Post
I have a facebook friend who frequently likes and shares all the standard far-right talking points, none of which I agree with and some of which I find personally abhorrent. Unfortunately for me, this friend is also my husband.
OH no!

I don't go on Facebook much, but I have three sisters, and two of us lean liberal and the other two are right-wing nut jobs. As in whatever is going wrong in their lives in the fault of the current President. I'm not terribly impressed with the current President, either, but I don't make jokes about shooting him during hunting season or blaming him because I'm in debt.

Sometimes the other liberal sister and I do sidebar emails because we can't believe some of the things the other two say. I wonder if they do the same and talk about us, lol.

I'm the only one in the family who is a believer in God--well, maybe one of the conservative sisters might. The most conservative one is atheist, and the other liberal one relies on astrology and meditates regularly. So, I don't say much about my spiritual life, because it will just become fodder for ridicule.

Harder to just walk away when it's family!
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Old 10-12-2014, 01:14 AM
 
10,803 posts, read 8,016,760 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
We can't read minds on here.

You have to decide if these friendships are worth it or not. You can tell people(I would stay off their FB pages) that you would prefer not to discuss politics/religion and see if they will go along with that. If you find they can't, than you need to decide if you want to have contact.
Agree.
There's a difference between losing and shedding, or as gardeners and librarians would put it, "weeding".
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Old 10-13-2014, 11:21 AM
 
917 posts, read 1,046,084 times
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I lost a friend because of my views. I worked with her and we kept in touch after I quit and found another better paying job. We were friends on Facebook. I posted a congratulations status for my best friend who happens to be gay and got married.

She messaged me and said she would be unfriending me because she could not associate with someone who supports “gay rights” and she would be praying for me because I would be going to hell. Lol What a good “Christian” woman she turned out to be. Lol I found it funny to be honest. I laughed when she sent me that message with all of these bible verses.

I just replied with “K”

My best friend and I had a mutual friend who was a devout Catholic and after my friend came out to us, she said she wanted nothing to do with him OR me for supporting a sin. A few yrs after that incident, her grandfather passed away. I felt bad because I know she was close to him and she cared for him in his final days. I sent her a sympathy card and she called me and told me to leave her alone and she didn’t need pity from a sinner like me… lol

This is why I avoid religion and I have always considered myself an atheist. I never once said anything to these people about their religion. Their faith is just that THEIRS. I respect people who have a religion it's just not for me. I wont let the few bad apples Ive come across bother me about religion. It's just not for me...
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Old 10-13-2014, 11:52 AM
 
16,722 posts, read 14,611,808 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I like to think of myself as open minded also, but I'll add to that, open-mouthed. I've flat out told people that certain subjects are not up for discussion between us. I live in the conservative, religious south, and I fall into neither category. With a few people, it's taken more than one conversation to get my point across, but eventually it happened.

If my friends want to join hands and say Grace before we have lunch, ok. If they want to rail against the president, or urge me to join their church, no. And, if they post anything on FB I disagree with, I click that handy little "hide" button.

Somehow, my friendships have survived. I know for certain that some of my dearest and oldest friends do not sure my convictions, but we have more in common than differences.
Right there with ya, Mattie. I live in Macon and I am a white non-religious Democratic voter with a Lesbian daughter.

I have gotten rid of some "people" over their beliefs, but I don't consider them a loss, because if they can't love me for my right to have my beliefs, they can kiss my ass. Oh and I'm outspoken too. LOL
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Old 10-13-2014, 12:09 PM
 
641 posts, read 207,148 times
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Three years ago we lost two friends after over 40 years of friendship because of our total opposing views re' how the country was being run since the previous administration. At first it didn't feel wrong to disagree and talk, but over time the conversations were more heated, and frustrating. I would like to find common ground, but my husband feels the differences are so vast now, that it would only lead to more problems than good. I actually feel like what it must feel like to be in the House of Representatives! No compromises!!

I agree w/the OP that friends can be hard to come by. What is very important, however, is how those friends affect you mentally and even physically. Positive energy is vital to a healthy life. If you cannot avoid these friends, be sure you are well educated as to the facts (not just from one news source, but sources on both sides of the issues) so you can hold your own in these discussions. If the stress becomes unbearable, walk away and breathe deeply. Your health and well-being are your top priorities, and only you can decide if these friends are good for you or not.
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Old 10-13-2014, 05:37 PM
 
3,947 posts, read 4,112,890 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kpl1228 View Post
I'm as open-minded as they come, and pride myself in being friends (for real friends, not just the Facebook variety) for years with people WAY different then me in the politics and religion departments. Truly a wide range of folks with differing ideas.
I'm fifty now, and have really started thinking about who I should visit back home across the country, and in doing so have become quite reflective. I've also started thinking that based on some nasty posts on Facebook from people, and angry hateful statements (when I do meet with them in person) about the country and politics in general (and political issues) that I should just cut these folks loose, unannounced.
Tried steering conversation toward other issues like kids and sports and even themselves and their lives, but it always veers back into a big nasty worry-fest or anger fest. Pretty toxic regardless of political views.
But I also remember the age old saying, "say goodbye to friends at your own peril." Friends can be hard to come by. And even some of the nasty ones are glad to see me with hugs all around. But it ain't getting better.
And it's not all my diverse friends, just a handful (on both sides of the fence).
Thoughts?
I usually tell myself people are entitled to their own opinions and let it be. Some issues I will stand up and speak up loudly against.

Generally, with my friends, even when they get into political and religious views, I stay out of it. Most of my good friends we've all known each other from our teenage years, and we've remained close, but we've grown in different ways. Some have become uber conservative while others are complete hippies, yuppies..

Take with a grain of salt. True friends won't let differences come between them.
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