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Old 10-12-2014, 01:29 AM
 
10,824 posts, read 8,084,160 times
Reputation: 17038

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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
Make it your FB status hee hee
My FB friends all know me in real life, so it would go right over their heads.
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Old 10-12-2014, 01:49 AM
 
13,154 posts, read 6,267,793 times
Reputation: 10900
I can relate. Except in my case, it's my cousins who are super successful while my brothers and I did just okay.

As a kid, I loved visiting with my aunt, uncle and cousins. My aunt and uncle were very supportive parents and encouraged their kids' dreams and passion. I wished that I grew up with them. While like all families, they weren't perfect but they worked through any rough patches.

All these cousins went on to have amazing careers. One of them is very prominent in his field of study.

I haven't visited my aunt and uncle in a few years due to the fact that they live over 300 miles away. However, the last time we got together and talked, my gut feeling was that my aunt wondered why us kids didn't do as well in life as our cousins.

I don't think that she fully understood that we grew up with a narcissistic alcoholic mother who was verbally and emotionally abusive and a father who was the perfect enabler. It wasn't exactly an environment that encouraged success.

So, Lilyflower, you are not alone. I know that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others but I think that it's human nature to do so.

To me, it sounds like you are doing quite well in your own life. Be proud of your accomplishments!
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Old 10-12-2014, 02:06 AM
 
235 posts, read 240,433 times
Reputation: 861
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
I can relate. Except in my case, it's my cousins who are super successful while my brothers and I did just okay.

As a kid, I loved visiting with my aunt, uncle and cousins. My aunt and uncle were very supportive parents and encouraged their kids' dreams and passion. I wished that I grew up with them. While like all families, they weren't perfect but they worked through any rough patches.

All these cousins went on to have amazing careers. One of them is very prominent in his field of study.
My poor cousin has the opposite problem. My aunt and uncle are both physicians, graduated from Harvard Med School, well-respected in their fields, the whole nine yards. Unfortunately my cousin struggled academically and when she didn't get into the Ivy League you would have thought the world was coming to an end. She ended up going to a decent, but not top school and my aunt even made a comment to my mother about being embarrassed because all the other doctors' kids were going to Columbia or Stanford. Anyways, she graduated, got a job, moved into her own apartment and supports herself but it's not good enough because she doesn't do anything "brag worthy." It's like Christ, not every kid is going to be Bill Gates or the next President, it doesn't mean they're not doing anything with their lives.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:25 AM
 
Location: East Millcreek
2,409 posts, read 5,265,738 times
Reputation: 2697
What on earth are you even talking about? Your story is a mish mash. You say you have 2 businesses but you're "not independent?" So who is taking care of you? Who are you dependent on? And your sister is 'complete" cause of her family/kids making you feel bad by comparison, but you don't even want that? And you feel bad cause your brothers are multimillionares ad you're not? You gotta be kidding.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,386 posts, read 20,172,927 times
Reputation: 13055
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeantownGirl19 View Post
My poor cousin has the opposite problem. My aunt and uncle are both physicians, graduated from Harvard Med School, well-respected in their fields, the whole nine yards. Unfortunately my cousin struggled academically and when she didn't get into the Ivy League you would have thought the world was coming to an end. She ended up going to a decent, but not top school and my aunt even made a comment to my mother about being embarrassed because all the other doctors' kids were going to Columbia or Stanford. Anyways, she graduated, got a job, moved into her own apartment and supports herself but it's not good enough because she doesn't do anything "brag worthy." It's like Christ, not every kid is going to be Bill Gates or the next President, it doesn't mean they're not doing anything with their lives.
My heart goes out to your cousin.

It is not easy to be compared to your overly successful siblings. And if you are a woman, no matter what, you would be judged based upon your marital status.

30 is a magic number and if you are 30 and is still single. People would definitely look at you weird.

"brag worthy" that is the words that I've been looking for. I don't believe my parents have ever bragged about me even though I and my brother are the two artists in the family and others are only capable of drawing stick figures.

The subtle things my parents say bother me at times.

For example, almost every single businesses I started have been funded by my family. I just don't feel very "independent."

You are right that not every kid is going to be bill gates but if others in your families are like the next best thing to Bill Gates, you would most likely feeling like a loser with capital L.

My only single brother is getting married and although my sister is freshly divorced. Somehow, I am still the ONLY SINGLE person in the family because she after all has two children to make her complete

My family members still tell me they are very proud of me. I wonder if this is really the case.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,386 posts, read 20,172,927 times
Reputation: 13055
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
I can relate. Except in my case, it's my cousins who are super successful while my brothers and I did just okay.

As a kid, I loved visiting with my aunt, uncle and cousins. My aunt and uncle were very supportive parents and encouraged their kids' dreams and passion. I wished that I grew up with them. While like all families, they weren't perfect but they worked through any rough patches.

All these cousins went on to have amazing careers. One of them is very prominent in his field of study.

I haven't visited my aunt and uncle in a few years due to the fact that they live over 300 miles away. However, the last time we got together and talked, my gut feeling was that my aunt wondered why us kids didn't do as well in life as our cousins.

I don't think that she fully understood that we grew up with a narcissistic alcoholic mother who was verbally and emotionally abusive and a father who was the perfect enabler. It wasn't exactly an environment that encouraged success.

So, Lilyflower, you are not alone. I know that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others but I think that it's human nature to do so.

To me, it sounds like you are doing quite well in your own life. Be proud of your accomplishments!

Different people have different backgrounds and different family dynamics. I feel people are constantly judged based upon materialistic things and their financial accomplishment, marital status and everything.

My cousin is married and all of sudden, he is better than me beauase I am still single. Even though being single is my choice, this doesn't matter.

I laugh when people say "Who cares what others have to say?" We all care what others say about us because we are social animals. Our self image to a certain degree depends on how people see us.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:56 AM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,336,188 times
Reputation: 62070
eh, embrace it and live your life without comparing yourself to your siblings or other humans.
Each has their own ways that make them happy and content, don't change just because you think someone else thinks you need to, only change if you want to and think it will make you happier or more content.
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Old 10-12-2014, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
9,845 posts, read 5,508,258 times
Reputation: 8395
One marches to the beat of their own drum.

Look at life that way as oppose to comparing it to others.

I, too, am unmarried and despite a family that is, I know that is a world I can never be a part of. So to avoid driving myself insane about what I can never be, I define life in my own way.
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Old 10-12-2014, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,386 posts, read 20,172,927 times
Reputation: 13055
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
eh, embrace it and live your life without comparing yourself to your siblings or other humans.
Each has their own ways that make them happy and content, don't change just because you think someone else thinks you need to, only change if you want to and think it will make you happier or more content.
That is a great advice but it is so hard to do sometimes.

If I feel happy about myself, then I don't compare myself to others. But when I have a lot of self doubts, the comparison magically starts. Maybe I am my worst enemy.
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Old 10-12-2014, 11:18 AM
Status: "You are only coming through in waves." (set 4 days ago)
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
8,126 posts, read 3,185,323 times
Reputation: 14655
You have a business degree, a family that says they will take care of you and two brothers that are self made millionaires. Did they become millionaires in a way that you can emulate? Could taking care of you involve sharing contacts and opening doors for you? Sometimes the key to success is as simple as getting your foot in the door.
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