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I would not go, nor would I send a gift/card. The only people I haven't seen for three years that I would make time for are people who live at a distance, but we still communicate regularly. Someone you have had no contact with for 3 years, not a chance.
I had the same kind of thought. while greedy is one possibility, another is that she has no or few friends and maybe a low paying job. Needy is another possibility.
Maybe whoever sent the invitations just went through her address book and your name was there.
An invitation is a request not a demand and not an obligation.
So, because someone has a low paying job or few friends you contact everyone and their mother to solicit gifts?
And anybody who has even a little common sense before sending out invites would ask the mother to be(and it sounds like she sent the invite anyway so that doesn't matter in this situation) would ask "should I send one to Jade, or to Linda, or who is this person, should we invite them"...not just send out invites to every name in the book.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
I would not go, nor would I send a gift/card. The only people I haven't seen for three years that I would make time for are people who live at a distance, but we still communicate regularly. Someone you have had no contact with for 3 years, not a chance.
Exactly.
The OP says this woman is 45 minutes away. That is an average commute for many people.
In 3 yrs no invites or suggestions for coffee, dinner, drinks, etc. No thanks.
Have you been keeping up with her on Facebook -- commenting on each other's posts, "liking" photos, etc.?
You said she was having a baby shower -- and I realize that, these days, this is an audacious assumption, but were you invited to her wedding, if there was one?
Lastly: Do you WANT to go? If you want to go, and think you would enjoy it, why all the drama? Just go. If you don't want to go, just send a polite RSVP. There's not a lot inbetween.
It's a bit much to say the person is a greedy gift-grabber. Would the person invite all the other "old buddies" if they lived closer? It sounds like that's a possibility - that the OP was invited merely because she's an old buddy who actually lives close enough to attend. And, while the OP said they had no mutual friends at first, it turns out that at a later post she said there may be one or two people there that are mutual friends.
So it's like this - doubt the person is a gift grabber - she probably just sees this as a nice time to see an old friend before her life gets hectic with the addition of a new baby. And, if the OP doesn't want to go, then don't go. It would be nice to send a card, but you don't need to include any money or a gift card - just sign the card and congratulate her and that can be it.
EDIT: It's a good point that someone made about Facebook - if they're keeping up together via social media, and neither has bothered reaching out to see one another in person, maybe the OP's friend thought that a baby shower was a great excuse to get together in real life. Unless the OP has been inviting the friend out, then she's just as guilty that they haven't seen one another in three years - it's a two-way street, and at least the friend is reaching out over something. If the OP doesn't want to go, but would still like to see her friend, then decline to go to the baby shower (just say you already have plans that day), but invite her out to lunch. If you have no desire to see her ever again, then decline, don't send a card, and make sure to unfriend her if you are Facebook "friends."
Last edited by MisfitBanana; 10-13-2014 at 07:13 PM..
Hmm, let's see. Baby shower invite from someone I was never really friends to begin with and I haven't seen them in three years? Yeah, that invitation would go straight into the trash.
I got a baby shower invite from a college "friend" today. We had plenty of mutual acquaintances at college and went to all the same parties. Post college i have seen her maybe once every 2 years optimistically, and best case the last time I saw her was 3 years ago.
So should I go to the shower? I am not a close friend by any means although I do like her a lot but we never acually crossed into "good friends."
Have you been keeping up with her on Facebook -- commenting on each other's posts, "liking" photos, etc.?
You said she was having a baby shower -- and I realize that, these days, this is an audacious assumption, but were you invited to her wedding, if there was one?
Lastly: Do you WANT to go? If you want to go, and think you would enjoy it, why all the drama? Just go. If you don't want to go, just send a polite RSVP. There's not a lot inbetween.
Sorry, following people on FB is not keeping in contact. Not when you live fairly close to each other and have had no face to face contact in 3 yrs.
And while I am big on manners, in case where you get an invite from someone like this, I wouldn't be opposed to just tossing it. I certainly wouldn't feel obligated to send a gift.
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