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Old 10-14-2014, 03:43 PM
 
1,831 posts, read 2,122,509 times
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At this point in your life you should just stop. After high school join the military. That will allow you some time to focus and find what is best for you. Your Dad is correct in that in today's climate earning more than 6 figures is a neat trick indeed.
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Old 10-14-2014, 05:39 PM
 
894 posts, read 835,810 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuzyQ123 View Post
Some welders make over $100k.
I have a friend who is a welder that makes 150k a year with overtime.

To the OP: TRADE SCHOOLS ARE NOT FOR LOSERS!!! I don't care what your father says. I know people with Master's and JD's who are clerking for fifteen bucks an hour because they can't find anything in their field. My sister is the CFO for a plumbing and HVAC company and the young guys who get hired on with them and join the union start at 65k a year. Hardly chicken feed for someone in their early 20's.

Do NOT go to a four year school if that's not where your heart is. You'll waste your time, your money and be miserable on top of it.
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Old 10-14-2014, 06:27 PM
 
2,620 posts, read 2,506,885 times
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I think you need to live YOUR life, not your father's. Being a minor, that might be hard unless you can find a family who can take you in until you turn 18. If not, you might need to follow your parents then move back when you're of age.

Your first question was whether or not you're being unreasonable. I don't think so, and I have a son who is 18. Doesn't sound to me like you're demanding anything of your parents other than asking them to respect your wishes. You are at the age where you need to find your own way. They need to trust that they've done a good job raising you to this point, and let you take the reigns from here on out.
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Old 10-14-2014, 07:52 PM
 
248 posts, read 266,028 times
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You sound EXTREMELY sane, mature and balanced for your age, so kudos there. You definitely shouldn't go to a 4 year school unless you WANT to, it's too much expense and there would be hundreds of others there, all doing the same kind of wandering/stalling tactic; a lot of them end up getting in trouble and knowing no more after the four years has passed, but now they're in a heap of debt.

Since you mentioned the HVAC I'm presuming that holds a bit of appeal; look also into wind energy training (really big and will grow), solar (ditto), electrician, cable, working for the national forestry service, Coast Guard (that's where the smartest recruits end up; it's a six year hitch but you're unlikely to see combat or some weird parts of the world you'd rather not go to...); now would be a good time to start haunting the career planning office at school and the library and find out what turns you on, what makes you sit up and take notice, what floats your boat. Research anything and everything and learn, learn, learn. There are dozens of medical careers that most people have never heard of which you may enjoy and they pay well. Some are quite technically oriented and perfect for a smart guy who likes technical/mechanical subjects.

Figure out what you really want to do; if the time comes and you're undecided I presume you could live with either parent; or split your time between both, that would double your chances of finding something you really want to do. Don't worry about money per se WRT working; if you enjoy the work, the money will come, and if you don't enjoy the work, no amount of money will make up for it.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:42 PM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,645,724 times
Reputation: 18036
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyontheInternet View Post
Wasn't sure whether to put this in parenting or education.. but here it goes.

I'm 17 and have lived with my parents in SC my whole life. They are originally from MA and want to move back. My mom sprang on me a few months back that she "can't stand it here anymore" and is moving to MA as soon as I graduate high school in January (early grad). My dad is currently looking for a job in software in MA right now. I have no idea if they'll be living together or not. I don't think my mom has been looking for a job but she's made it clear she doesn't want to live with my dad anymore and they clearly don't care for each other at all.

So I'll be graduating in 3 months and have no idea where I'll be living or who I'll be living with. All I know is I really don't want to move. My plan would be to go to community college for FREE and live on my own renting with others (no real plans yet though). I would study HVAC or welding or something. However my dad is against going to tech and insists it's a waste of time. According to him, anyone who doesn't go to a 4 year school is a going to end up a loser and kids should end up doing better than their parents (he makes over 100K a year so..) I'm not going to bother arguing with him because I've probably done that 100 times by now. He wants me to major in the same thing he did (software engineering) at the same school he went to in MA and everything will just fall into my lap.

However, I'm tired of being a ball and chain and want to pay for things MYSELF. I have zero interest in going to a 4 year school, but if I have to I will.

Am I being unreasonable? I need some of your opinions. Thanks.

By the way, I should mention my sister goes to a really expensive private school that my dad is almost entirely paying for (he complains about it nonstop but still continues to be an enabler) and I really don't want to be like that.
If your of age in that state you can do what you want. Do not let anyone tell you what you want but make reasonable decisions after careful thought. Still you'll make mistake but hey; your 17.I liked my work after college and made a good living doing it. Others I worked with hated it.
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Old 10-15-2014, 04:48 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,553 posts, read 33,271,692 times
Reputation: 32094
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyontheInternet View Post
I should say that there aren't any trade schools where I live. If you want to learn a trade you go to community college. I'm not sure if there's a huge difference, but you earn an actual associates degree rather than a diploma.

The main argument against going into trades is that they can be taxing on the body and when you get older you could be screwed. My dad always brings up a friend he knew and how disappointed this friend was when his "genius" kids became roofers. I'm not a genius by any means.

Also, I took Computer Programming in high school and I really don't know what to think of it.
Not really, my friend who lives in KY got an associates degree in welding and makes good bank as a welder. Also as far as getting screwed, with the great recession of 2008 a lot of older workers in their 50s or 60s got laid off and screwed out of pensions and basically were done working at their level. Getting screwed when you get older is hardly a blue-collar problem.
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Old 10-15-2014, 05:05 AM
 
Location: Louisville KY
4,257 posts, read 3,890,365 times
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Woo hoo Kentucky!!

Ahem! You're 17, you still have time to go to some university, in the mean time, there is nothing wrong with a trade, you never know where a trade can take you, especially cooking and welding. Look at all the famous chefs, and fabricators. A giid trade job could pay your way to a "real college," if you so choose, and if it doesn't work, you can fall back on your trade, and have a side hustle at any point.
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Old 10-15-2014, 08:12 AM
 
37,822 posts, read 14,704,827 times
Reputation: 24116
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoFigureMeOut View Post
I have a friend who is a welder that makes 150k a year with overtime.

To the OP: TRADE SCHOOLS ARE NOT FOR LOSERS!!! I don't care what your father says. I know people with Master's and JD's who are clerking for fifteen bucks an hour because they can't find anything in their field. My sister is the CFO for a plumbing and HVAC company and the young guys who get hired on with them and join the union start at 65k a year. Hardly chicken feed for someone in their early 20's.

Do NOT go to a four year school if that's not where your heart is. You'll waste your time, your money and be miserable on top of it.
Is he an underwater welder? $150K seems pretty high unless your friend has some unique speciality. Even pipeline welders generally don't make that much.

I've welded for a living in the past. It can be a hot, dirty job. Plus, not everyone has an eye, or the hand-eye coordination, to lay a steady bead.

I would recommend going to the local college's career center and do some interest and aptitude testing-- explore what careers might be a good fit or your interests, personality preferences, and abilities.

Then do some informational interviewing of people who do that for a living. Ask to job shadow for a few days. See what you think.

Talk with your folks about how much financial support they are willing and able to provide. If they are moving, changing jobs, perhaps planning on maintaing two households, sister still in a spendy college... Or they might have money set aside for you but want to be sure that you will use it wisely.

Don't chose a career because you think it will be an easy way to make good money. Chose something that is a good fit for you and where you have a good shot at a decent career.

Good luck!
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Old 10-15-2014, 04:48 PM
 
172 posts, read 143,272 times
Reputation: 490
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyontheInternet View Post
The main argument against going into trades is that they can be taxing on the body and when you get older you could be screwed.
Just because you start out in one profession doesn't mean that is what you will do your entire life. Maybe you weld for a few years and realize you want to be an accountant. My dad has worked in the same place, in the same job for over 35 years (blue collar BTW, his annual retirement and pension payouts will be six figures and more than my husband and I currently make together in our 4-year degree jobs). That is not reality these days. I've been out of college for 15 years now and I have worked 4 different places and done HR then sales then marketing and now web admin. You are not locked into the first job you land anymore.

Quote:
My dad always brings up a friend he knew and how disappointed this friend was when his "genius" kids became roofers. I'm not a genius by any means.
How nice, this argument is how his FRIEND feels about his child. That tells you a lot right there, your dad cares more about his feelings regarding your employment than your feelings on what you would like to do. I may be disappointed if my kid doesn't live up to her potential but at the end of the day it is her life and as long as she makes enough to support whatever lifestyle she chooses and she is happy, it is her life.

I did wonder who would be financing your education. If you decide to go for welding, you may very well be on your own for paying for the education. I don't know if your parents will pay for your education if you go the 4-year route. If they are not, I think it is horrible that they are pressuring you to go to a 4-year school -and incur student loans (and if they move so soon would it be in or out of state tuition) so they don't have to be disappointed that their son is a welder.
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Old 10-15-2014, 04:55 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,967 posts, read 19,932,262 times
Reputation: 12844
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyontheInternet View Post
Wasn't sure whether to put this in parenting or education.. but here it goes.

I'm 17 and have lived with my parents in SC my whole life. They are originally from MA and want to move back. My mom sprang on me a few months back that she "can't stand it here anymore" and is moving to MA as soon as I graduate high school in January (early grad). My dad is currently looking for a job in software in MA right now. I have no idea if they'll be living together or not. I don't think my mom has been looking for a job but she's made it clear she doesn't want to live with my dad anymore and they clearly don't care for each other at all.

So I'll be graduating in 3 months and have no idea where I'll be living or who I'll be living with. All I know is I really don't want to move. My plan would be to go to community college for FREE and live on my own renting with others (no real plans yet though). I would study HVAC or welding or something. However my dad is against going to tech and insists it's a waste of time. According to him, anyone who doesn't go to a 4 year school is a going to end up a loser and kids should end up doing better than their parents (he makes over 100K a year so..) I'm not going to bother arguing with him because I've probably done that 100 times by now. He wants me to major in the same thing he did (software engineering) at the same school he went to in MA and everything will just fall into my lap.

However, I'm tired of being a ball and chain and want to pay for things MYSELF. I have zero interest in going to a 4 year school, but if I have to I will.

Am I being unreasonable? I need some of your opinions. Thanks.

By the way, I should mention my sister goes to a really expensive private school that my dad is almost entirely paying for (he complains about it nonstop but still continues to be an enabler) and I really don't want to be like that.
You dad sounds a lot of like my dad. I love my dad to death, but he can be pretty unreasonable sometimes.
I had an art degree and believe me four years of college without a practical degree will also make you feel like a loser.

You are your own person, If I had to do it again, I would want to become a doctor or a graphic designer. Be very careful now because college is a crucial time of your life.

If you do decide to go for a four years college, be careful of the major you may choose. Mine was art history.
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