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Old 10-14-2014, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,882 posts, read 11,108,086 times
Reputation: 6316

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As of recent times, mom and dad have not been getting along well, and are asking me (the eldest son) to take one side consistently. Seriously, I cant take sides at this point . They both raised me together, and I've acquired positive personality traits from either side.

So, I've made it a point to remain neutral. Now my question is how the relationship will progress. I've seen many signs of discontent in the last few years and voiced my concerns that a married couple are not supposed to act like this. I've also offered some suggestions for change. But they still fight over the same old stuff and heed my suggestions. I'm quite scared now. I don't want my parents marriage to end badly after a few decades.

They have sacrificed so much for the kids and helped power us towards being smart men, why cant they sacrifice among themselves and come to a conclusion ? I'd like to solve this problem with some help from my brother. Please offer hints on how to do so.

Last edited by Adi from the Brunswicks; 10-14-2014 at 03:42 PM..

 
Old 10-14-2014, 03:32 PM
 
32,283 posts, read 26,139,669 times
Reputation: 18927
why ask us these questions? sit them both down at the same table, and ask them. make them actually talk to each other rather than argue and yell at each other.
 
Old 10-14-2014, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,882 posts, read 11,108,086 times
Reputation: 6316
Quote:
Originally Posted by rbohm View Post
why ask us these questions? sit them both down at the same table, and ask them. make them actually talk to each other rather than argue and yell at each other.
I've tried doing this many times. It just becomes a shouting match between the two of them, with me unable to decipher the source for such rage. Its impossible for me to get them to talk gently about problems. Finally, I just end up frustrated and quit .
 
Old 10-14-2014, 03:36 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,801 posts, read 3,025,960 times
Reputation: 4789
You're not going to be able to solve it, trust me. I don't blame you for trying though.
 
Old 10-14-2014, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,882 posts, read 11,108,086 times
Reputation: 6316
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adhom View Post
You're not going to be able to solve it, trust me. I don't blame you for trying though.
Will they ever be happy together again, like when we were little kids. I feel like love is lost, and want to know how to revive it.

PLEASE HELP !!!!!!!.

Last edited by Adi from the Brunswicks; 10-14-2014 at 03:51 PM..
 
Old 10-14-2014, 04:03 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,801 posts, read 3,025,960 times
Reputation: 4789
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks View Post
Will they ever be happy together again, like when we were little kids. I feel like love is lost, and want to know how to revive it.

PLEASE HELP !!!!!!!.
It's not that bleak even though it might seem that way now. Relationships change over time. What seems super important to you now may not be that big of a deal in a few years. It's quite obvious your parents still love you but their relationship to each other has changed. There is really nothing you can do to fix that.
 
Old 10-14-2014, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,882 posts, read 11,108,086 times
Reputation: 6316
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adhom View Post
It's not that bleak even though it might seem that way now. Relationships change over time. What seems super important to you now may not be that big of a deal in a few years. It's quite obvious your parents still love you but their relationship to each other has changed. There is really nothing you can do to fix that.
So my ultimate question is whether they will remain together or separate, and for how long. I love them both.
 
Old 10-14-2014, 04:13 PM
 
8,697 posts, read 5,059,694 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks View Post
So my ultimate question is whether they will remain together or separate, and for how long. I love them both.
How could anyone here possibly know that? It is up to the two of them.
 
Old 10-14-2014, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Lebanon, OH
5,861 posts, read 6,283,513 times
Reputation: 12426
This is more up to your parents than you, it will be up to them to keep their conversations civil, choose their words carefully and keep their discussions from turning into fights. No couple will ever agree 100% on everything but it is how they handle the points of disagreement that is important, yelling, name calling, etc. is no way to handle things.
 
Old 10-14-2014, 04:18 PM
 
16,800 posts, read 14,438,341 times
Reputation: 37844
You are a grown up man with your own life. Your parents' marriage is their business, not yours. Just be there to support them whatever happens. Do not take sides and do not get involved. Period.
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