Family wants me to get a job and I don't want to (money, feel)
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I skimmed and saw a lot of I save my money, I do this and that with my money, I have an advisor, I lived in the dorms when I was in college and live on my own now, etc.
My rhetorical questions would be how much money you've had in life that was actually your money as opposed to money someone else earned and passed on to you? How many things you've had access to that weren't paid for by someone else? How many difficult decisions you've made without someone else to make them for you? Whether you've ever had a significant moment in your life where you had to go without?
If I were wealthy enough to believe that money would never be a problem, I certainly wouldn't work for anyone else doing anything I don't want to do. I'd be working for myself doing the things I want to do in addition to just relaxing and soaking up life. That's just me, though. Not everyone has aspirations that involve work, even if it's just for themselves.
And while I'm on the side of the fence that thinks people should "contribute" to society by doing something that benefits someone other than themselves (like volunteering), I don't believe in a cosmic rule that makes you terrible for living your entire life sucking up what everyone else has to offer instead.
My only concern about someone who doesn't work would be the kind of thing someone else touched on - the fact that work can shape character. No one here can know your mind or judge your character, but "life preparedness" is a valid point. Your mental and emotional fortitude.
When one talks about not living in the "real world", they usually mean not experiencing the hardships faced by the average person and by extension, never having to be proven against them. Never really knowing what you can and can't handle, where your strengths and weaknesses are, because you've never been in a situation that tested them, forced you to reveal them, to sink or swim by them.
I don't think there's anything wrong with never working because you're planning to spend the rest of your life depending on the wealth afforded to you by someone else as long as that lifestyle doesn't weaken you - make you incapable of fighting battles tantamount to what it means to be human or stepping up to the plate when needed because you've never had to, because you can just hop on a plane and bury yourself somewhere like it doesn't exist.
Because regardless of how certain everything may seem today just because of numbers in a bank account, there may come a time in your life when you're faced with something money can't cure or allow you to escape and you won't want to face that like a newborn. You'll want to face it like a veteran.
I'm not saying that having a job will prepare you for those kinds of situations. What I'm saying is that earning your keep and your living is just one thing on a looooong list of human experiences that leisure and wealth can easily allow you to avoid.
Experiences that have become integral to understanding and coping with the world, with navigating it and navigating relationships within it. Experiences that may not be as fun as bouncing around without a care in the world, but that may do just as much for your mind, body, and spirit.
So my opinion on this is that if you don't want to work, that's fine. Just be wary of the experiences you're not having because of your wealth and how not having them might affect your judgment or values or priorities and how that might translate into your old age compared to being in your 20s.
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Originally Posted by thatguydownsouth
Life isn't about contributing to society, nobody OWES anyone anything.
For all who believe that, remember it the next time you're about to complain about something someone did or said. I agree - short of what the law demands, no one owes anyone anything. It'd just be a really f-cked up world if everyone lived that way, so I err on the side of thinking we at least owe each other enough to survive as a species for more than a month.
Last edited by cyberphonics; 10-15-2014 at 01:59 PM..
i'll admit that I'm a bit jealous, but kudos to you! it pisses me off that everyone on this forum has failed to admit that they are even a little jealous. if you don't need a job, then don't get one. I am 25 also but work 60-70 hours a week to attain early retirement. hopefully, in 20 years, I will be in your position. work sucks. some say that it "builds character". muwahahahahaha! what a crock of horse ****. if anything, working for 50-60 years of your life turns you into a miserable, bitter person, unless you actually like what you do. and lets face it, most people don't like their jobs. of course, most on city-data forums will tell you that they probably love their jobs, but CD forums is not representative of the general population.
and don't listen to these morons that say you must contribute to society. there is no law saying that you must "contribute to society". besides, everybody has a different, subjective definition of what "contributing to society" actually is.
That is the saddest statement I've seen in a very, very long time.
Oh, and "look at me" is not what it's all about, or shouldn't be. The whole point is it's not about you (general you, not you personally).
You should aspire to be what you want to be, not what you think the "world", whoever they are, wants you to be. And yea, from many of the comments made, it's what the "world" will think of you if you don't "contribute".
I'm NOT saying that one shouldn't help their fellow man, or those in need...I AM saying that everyone is different and can't always do what people think they should. Some folks just have it in them to do a whole heck of a lot, while others can only manage to get dressed and breathe. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT so it shouldn't matter what the "world" wants...it matters what YOU want.
I don't condone selfishness but if you don't take care of yourself first, then what good are you to other people...unless of course YOU are a doormat because you care what other people would think of you...
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Originally Posted by oh-eve
need a tissue?
I think I love you!
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Originally Posted by subject2change
Take 30 seconds to imagine what kind of world this would be if everyone who spends their time helping some cause, be it diseases, hunger, animals, battered women, whatever, just stopped. If you don't want to help, then don't, but how can it be a stupid thing to aspire to?
Like I said, it's not about volunteering or helping...it's the exact quote "contributing to the world" that I take issue with and that is what's sad to ME. I have given to those in need because I like to pay it forward if you will...I like when I can help someone who wouldn't normally ask for help. I like to give in many ways...but I don't aspire to be Mother Theresa...that's not who I am.
You can misconstrue whatever you like and pity whomever, but I think it's interesting that that's what you took from my entire post.
I don't work at all and this upsets my family though more so my grandmother. I'm 25 and have never had a job (besides babysitting a few times) though I did graduate from college. During the first half of my junior year my grandpa passed away and I got an inheritance. After graduating, I chose not to apply for jobs. Instead, I travelled and decided to hold off working. Perfect decision for me, but my family doesn't think so.
My dad is upset I don't work but he's more passive aggressive about it. My mom is nicer about it and doesn't care too much but she still worries me and mentions me picking up a job here and there. My grandma (on my dad's side) has been awful to me about it. She's an opinionated, very in-your-face, blunt person and she thinks I'm lazy and constantly tells me that I need to be working and that I need to have a job.
For the past two years I have been traveling and not home much. I went to Europe and Australia and spent some time there so I haven't had to be around the criticism a lot, but when I have come home for holidays I get cornered and my grandma has "blown up" and brought up the laziness and job thing. It seems like I'm not even allowed to chime in or have an opinion on anything because I don't work. She has said that I don't understand how the real world is. We get along off and on but this subject always comes up.
I don't consider myself lazy. I don't work but my life is active. I travel, I cook and I enjoy camping and things like that. I also love gardening and shopping. I save my money but I also invest. True, I was lazy this summer. I now have a house in North Carolina and I fixed it up, furnished it and slept late every day. My favorite part of the afternoon was enjoying sweet tea on my porch and baking apple pies So I guess you can say I was semi-lazy, but still productive. To be honest I feel like I am just enjoying my life and doing things I want to do.
I love my family and want to visit more but I am tired of my grandma's negativity and opinions. I want a way to tell her to stop and to mind her own business but I don't want to disrespect her either. I am happy with my life and I wish she could see that but I don't know how. Is there any way I can do that? She's obsessed with people working.
If Grandma knew how the workforce is today, I doubt she'd be hounding you to work. I don't believe working builds "character". People build character on their ethics and morals, imho. There are greedy corporate executives who steal money and have worked for 50 years. What character did they build? In this day and age, especially here in the U.S., it seems we live to work instead of working just to live. Most jobs are stressful. Many people have lousy co-workers and micromanaging bosses that are constantly breathing down their necks. Who needs that? Maybe if you invited grandma over and sat with her on the porch with some sweet tea and just talked about how you're enjoying life and explained how difficult it can be to find a good job, maybe she'd understand. Working doesn't make a person better. Not working doesn't make you a bad person either--it's not like you're sponging off the government. What you do with your inheritance is your business. Maybe finding something you're passionate about and doing some volunteer work might appease her. So while you're not earning a paycheck, you're not being lazy either and you'll be "contributing" by giving your time.
I'm 44 and I've been working since I was 15. I'm freaking tired lol. If I had the opportunity to not have to work anymore, I'd jump all over it!
You should aspire to be what you want to be, not what you think the "world", whoever they are, wants you to be. And yea, from many of the comments made, it's what the "world" will think of you if you don't "contribute".
I'm NOT saying that one shouldn't help their fellow man, or those in need...I AM saying that everyone is different and can't always do what people think they should. Some folks just have it in them to do a whole heck of a lot, while others can only manage to get dressed and breathe. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT so it shouldn't matter what the "world" wants...it matters what YOU want.
I don't condone selfishness but if you don't take care of yourself first, then what good are you to other people...unless of course YOU are a doormat because you care what other people would think of you...
I think I love you!
Like I said, it's not about volunteering or helping...it's the exact quote "contributing to the world" that I take issue with and that is what's sad to ME. I have given to those in need because I like to pay it forward if you will...I like when I can help someone who wouldn't normally ask for help. I like to give in many ways...but I don't aspire to be Mother Theresa...that's not who I am.
You can misconstrue whatever you like and pity whomever, but I think it's interesting that that's what you took from my entire post.
There were parts of your post that I was fine with. That one statement, that it's stupid to try to contribute, jumped out as, well bizarre actually, but I think you might have just expressed yourself badly.
And you are a busy person, possibly with too much on your plate to volunteer or something. I've been there.
Not being busy, fooling around doing whatever strikes your fancy would be fine for a while, and there's no law that says someone has to do more, as someone said. I just believe that doing more than that would be good for the OP. And I think her family does too. Cyberphonic's post has a lot of wisdom in it. Again, the OP asked for opinions. I don't see why those of us who don't think coasting through life is the best plan are supposed to just shut up. (Not talking about you specifically, but the real annoyance in a lot of the OP's supporters' posts)
Ya know what? If I were in your situation I wouldn't want to work either, and I'd do pretty much what you are doing. I'd also distance the family big time. I'm 60 years old now, and if I had the means you have I'd just completely check out of the workaday world and everyone giving me any guff about it. They get on you about it because they do have to work, and resent you because you don't.
I've been through a LOT of really bad jobs in my time, and worked very hard always. I've been resented for being a hard worker, exploited for it, used for it, and despised for it by slackers and the supervisors who identified with the slackers. I had a powerful work ethic, and looking back all I can see it got me was used, exploited, and bullied.
Good for you girl if you can get along without having to go through what I did!
If I were in your situation I'd get a nice little house out in the country where no one could find me, a good dog, and completely distance all those who are getting on your back to do something you don't even have to. It's all about their envy and resentment.
There were parts of your post that I was fine with. That one statement, that it's stupid to try to contribute, jumped out as, well bizarre actually, but I think you might have just expressed yourself badly.
And you are a busy person, possibly with too much on your plate to volunteer or something. I've been there.
Not being busy, fooling around doing whatever strikes your fancy would be fine for a while, and there's no law that says someone has to do more, as someone said. I just believe that doing more than that would be good for the OP. And I think her family does too. Cyberphonic's post has a lot of wisdom in it. Again, the OP asked for opinions. I don't see why those of us who don't think coasting through life is the best plan are supposed to just shut up. (Not talking about you specifically, but the real annoyance in a lot of the OP's supporters' posts)
It's true that I may have not expressed myself in a way that was clear. And it may appear that I don't care about the world. That is NOT the case. I actually care quite a bit and would love to quit my job and focus on doing for others...like build Earthships in Haiti or some crazy thing!
Really, my point was about that particular statement that just rubs me the wrong way. I had a similar discussion in another thread about what people honestly believe about who and how people contribute...some people say you must work, others say you must volunteer, while others say you must stay occupied and have purpose. I'm not saying these are bad things, but other people's ideas about what's right for me is off base and faulty thinking.
I admire those who work in the service of others. I admire those who can help and volunteer. But I'm also impressed with people who can't manage very much and still get up and go to a thankless job. Now, as it applies to the OP, she's young. She has some time to figure out what gives her life meaning. She sounds fairly grounded and smart...she admits to being lazy this summer but in all likelihood, she'll figure out what gives her the most purpose for her own life.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't voice your opinion...I am saying that she's the only one who can determine what will bring joy and peace to her own life. She has a leg up...who's to judge what she should do? I guess I take issue with some posts because I have NEVER coasted...and the idea of it is really appealing.
I would love to be in her position...the lottery is the only way that will ever happen so I guess I better start playing!!
I don't think I'd do that. She'll need them someday if her money should ever run out and she can't get a job.
That's not why she should distance herself...or why you should want to be around family!
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So I guess you can say I was semi-lazy, but still productive. To be honest I feel like I am just enjoying my life and doing things I want to do.
