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Old 10-16-2014, 02:36 PM
6,475 posts, read 9,967,030 times
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She can have all the knowledge that's out there... it still remains that if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to, no matter what anyone else says.

Old 10-16-2014, 02:37 PM
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,766,576 times
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Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
She can have all the knowledge that's out there... it still remains that if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to, no matter what anyone else says.
Of course! It's still a free country

One would just hope that she would make a fully informed choice, not one based on personal "icky" feelings or fears.
Old 10-16-2014, 02:37 PM
13,198 posts, read 20,882,364 times
Reputation: 35564
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
She can have all the knowledge that's out there... it still remains that if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to, no matter what anyone else says.
Then just say that. Why bother trying to soften the blow? She doesn't care, and now, I don't either.
Old 10-16-2014, 02:37 PM
2,079 posts, read 2,615,938 times
Reputation: 3947
I wasn't breastfed and I turned out....awesome

makes sense why I am more of an "ass man"
Old 10-16-2014, 03:05 PM
Location: Massachusetts
7,638 posts, read 11,521,564 times
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Originally Posted by pinkheartsandrainbows View Post
everyone has been so kind with the advice
i went through just now and gave reputation to everyone
if i hadn't before.

well yeah i have never really wanted to since i had watched friends do it
i never actually took a stance until i got pregnant
i also never thought it would be a big deal until my boyfriend got upset about it

and no i am not going to raise our child on my own. we're together lol.

HAHA. believe me, I'm thinking about!
i liked the idea a few pages back where if i breastfeed then he doesn't get any
or get to touch my boobs. you ladies are so funny.

uh, we are getting legally married in three weeks, so no, doubt he's going anywhere.
we are having an actual wedding later, just getting the paperwork done before our baby gets here
this isn't something we're gonna break up over, geez. i'm not even bossy
This is just something we disagree on & his family gets judgy about.

i honestly have explained it the best i can. just intuition.

thanks. i am hoping explaining this to my boyfriend's family (soon to be mine) and that it will sink in this time.

Plenty that don't involve being on my nipple hopefully
Haha thanks! i can't wait to bond with him.

Luckily I will not be working but at home w/ our baby
but yes i will be getting that shot. thanks!

I am so sorry that happened <3
it sounds painful & awful. Things dont always turn out how you plan
I am sure you still bonded w/ your daughter. many hugs to you!
Congratulations on your forthcoming wedding.

Like you, I chose not to breastfeed, for much the same reason that you stated. It was just not for me, I am very modest and I could not see myself sitting in some dirty mall bathroom nursing a baby. I would also have had to go into another room if I was visiting someone or having company myself. It is just not something I would have felt comfortable doing in front of others. The pain wasn't an issue at all.

I know when my oldest was born I was asked if I wanted the shot to stop the milk from coming in. I remembered reading an article that discouraged it. I don't remember exactly why, it might have had something to do with increasing the risk of breast cancer. I refused the shot. My milk never came in, anyway.

When I had my second, I mentioned to the doctor that I did not want that shot. He said they didn't even give it anymore (there is 8 years between my 1st 2 daughters). That time, my milk did come in but it wasn't bad. The feeling goes away in a couple of days. When I had my 3rd child, I never had milk come in. I don't know if it was just that particular OB GYN practice that didn't give patients the shot or the hospital or if it's even offered at all, anymore.

You will have to find out ahead of time what the hospital's policy is regarding formula. If they won't give it out, then you'll have to bring your own (the 4 oz disposable bottles). If your doctor orders it, they will give it to you.

STAND YOUR GROUND. With the medical personnel, your fiancé's family and any other busybodies that feel they can tell you what you should do. It won't be the first time his family has opinions about how you should raise your own child so I'm afraid you'll have to get used to more in the future. When the breastfeeding advocate appears after the delivery, you can tell her that you've discussed it with your doctor, family and several other mothers who have and haven't breastfed and made your decision. They have no right to bully you and if they persist, have them thrown out of your room. It should indicate your feeding choice right on your chart. Truthfully, I had more trouble getting the "WIC" woman to leave.

Good luck with your pregnancy. You are very young, but I wasn't much older than you when I had my first child. I still knew what was right for me, though.
Old 10-16-2014, 03:24 PM
Location: U.S.A., Earth
4,537 posts, read 2,910,669 times
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I'd say don't knock it till you tried it, as it's one of those things that isn't too expensive, time consuming, or otherwise has such a high barrier to trial. I could also argue that giving birth and being pregnant should overshadow any discomfort of breastfeeding, but TBH, I don't have any experience as a guy, and all other knowledge is from readings and experiences I hear of. Try to be firm about this, as I'm sure others close to you will be giving you more earfuls about other aspects of child rearing.

AFAIK, there are medical reasons to not breast feed. In the end, it's more so your choice since there is no "we" in breastfeeding.
Old 10-16-2014, 04:28 PM
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,563 posts, read 54,959,868 times
Reputation: 67237
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
I'm surprised that your OB/GYN hasn't discussed this with you. Mothers on the board can correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that you'll be able to walk out of the hospital without at least speaking to a lactation consultant.
My OB/GYN didn't mention it, but they had a nurse do a session at the hospital on breastfeeding with an instructional film.
Old 10-16-2014, 04:29 PM
Location: here
24,841 posts, read 30,201,954 times
Reputation: 32415
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Who said she was a crappy mother? Most of the responses told her to do what she wanted, while a few of us, for the benefit of her baby, urged her not to completely close her mind to it.

She really hasn't articulated a good reason not to give it a try. Modesty? First of all, it's easy to cover up while breast feeding, and secondly, there is nothing that strips modesty away as quickly as the birth experience will.

It is vastly cheaper than formula, it helps the mother's body recover quickly, and the health benefits to the infant are well documented. I honestly don't care what she does, but I don't think she's really making an informed decision, if she can't give a reasonable response to the father of the baby.
Stan did but maybe the post is gone now.


suggesting she give it a try before deciding is not the same as saying she's not in charge of her own body, and likewise, deciding not to doesn't make her a bad mother.
Old 10-16-2014, 04:54 PM
300 posts, read 357,656 times
Reputation: 320
You should just tell them that you prefer to focus on the pregnancy phase you are in right now, and you'll think/worry about other things as they come.

I am all for breastfeeding, I breastfed for a longer period than most moms, BUT I think that every woman should choose for herself. And the father should accept this, whether he agrees with it or not. But again, given your age, the fact that this is your first pregnancy, and the fact that the pregnancy hormones can lead you in not too desirable directions , it would be best for your health and baby's health to avoid conflict by not discussing the subject for now.
Old 10-16-2014, 05:00 PM
12,540 posts, read 12,584,093 times
Reputation: 28902
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I think some here are losing sight of the fact that the bottom line is what is best for the baby.

This is not a feminist it's-my-body-issue!
Actually, it is. People are telling a grown woman not only what to do with her boobs, but how to feed her child. That's a feminist issue. I can see the father discussing it with her--politely and without pressure--but the family needs to back off. It's none of their business how she feeds or raises her kid unless she beats the kid up or otherwise abuses the kid, and formula-feeding is not abuse. Best part is that I'd lay money that if anyone dared to criticize how they take care of their kids, there would be hell to pay. People who are that strident about parenting issues tend to be really intolerant of criticism, themselves.
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