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Old 10-16-2014, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
14,698 posts, read 8,501,199 times
Reputation: 29413

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Meh, I can't blame you. The thought of a kid latching on to my boob, or of attaching a suction device to my boob to milk it, makes me dizzy with nausea. Then again, I don't have kids, never wanted them, and had a morbid fear of unwanted pregnancy that drove me to use at least one, if not two, forms of contraception or just not have sex at all.
LOL. I can totally relate, Lilac.

 
Old 10-16-2014, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,588,589 times
Reputation: 39866
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
What's the big deal? Not breastfeeding isn't detrimental to the baby. If she feels icky about, so what? Really, all you warmommys need to simmer down.
Actually, I'm very calm, you?

I haven't been anyone's "mommy" in a long time

I am simply concerned that this young woman understand all her options based on all the facts.

So far she seems prepared to make her decision not to do something beneficial for her baby based on her fears alone. And fear based decisions are rarely good decisions
 
Old 10-16-2014, 05:52 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
7,626 posts, read 11,479,507 times
Reputation: 6070
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Breastfeeding can be one of the most sublime experiences in the life of a mother.

The bond it creates with your child is too precious for words.

Any "discomfort" is very short-lived, quickly remedied and nothing compared to the overall benefits of the experience.

Unless you've done it you can't really understand it the way a mom who has done it will.

It's not mandatory and with today's formulas a baby can get the right nutrition by bottle but there are benefits (like the higher IQ points) that can't be ignored.

Just saying, Mom's should not let their fears stop them from at least learning all they can and being open to reaping the benefits of breastfeeding when at all possible.
I don't think it's "fears" that doesn't stop her from breastfeeding. She doesn't think that it's right for her. I just don't understand why that isn't coming across.

You realize that IQ is largely genetic? It's encoded in your genes.

The best thing you can do for your child is spend time with him or her. Take them to zoos, farms, the ocean. Answer their questions and teach them. Read to them every day and play music. Take them shopping with you. Teach them manners.

They won't remember how they were fed, but they will remember that their mother loved them and spent time with them.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 05:53 PM
 
6,475 posts, read 9,937,805 times
Reputation: 10924
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Actually, I'm very calm, you?

I haven't been anyone's "mommy" in a long time

I am simply concerned that this young woman understand all her options based on all the facts.

So far she seems prepared to make her decision not to do something beneficial for her baby based on her fears alone. And fear based decisions are rarely good decisions
Oh, give it a rest. She's certainly not doing anything detrimental to the baby. If you were calm, you would have just accepted her personal opinion on it and actually commented on her original question... but here you are still, trying to get her to change her mind. Now... calm down.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 05:54 PM
 
6,475 posts, read 9,937,805 times
Reputation: 10924
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaseyB View Post

You realize that IQ is largely genetic? It's encoded in your genes.
This could explain why the thread has mimicked quite the trainwreck. So totally off track.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,588,589 times
Reputation: 39866
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaseyB View Post
They won't remember how they were fed, but they will remember that their mother loved them and spent time with them.
You are so right about this!

But who wouldn't want a few extra IQ points?

Breastfeeding for longer 'improves child's intelligence' - Medical News Today
 
Old 10-16-2014, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,576 posts, read 24,170,899 times
Reputation: 49001
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaseyB View Post

They won't remember how they were fed, but they will remember that their mother loved them and spent time with them.
My SIL bottle-fed my niecephews, which was fine, but it drove my mom crazy that she rarely held the babies while they were feeding. She'd just plop them in the punkin seat, pop the bottle in their mouths, and walk off. My mom didn't want to be the kind of MIL who criticized, but she would always say (in private,) "you have to hold the baby while they're eating! Talk to them, sing to them! It's important!"
 
Old 10-16-2014, 06:05 PM
 
12,540 posts, read 12,536,658 times
Reputation: 28901
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Breastfeeding can be one of the most sublime experiences in the life of a mother.

The bond it creates with your child is too precious for words.

Any "discomfort" is very short-lived, quickly remedied and nothing compared to the overall benefits of the experience.

Unless you've done it you can't really understand it the way a mom who has done it will.

It's not mandatory and with today's formulas a baby can get the right nutrition by bottle but there are benefits (like the higher IQ points) that can't be ignored.

Just saying, Mom's should not let their fears stop them from at least learning all they can and being open to reaping the benefits of breastfeeding when at all possible.
That's all right. I don't need to have a kid clamp down on my nip to know it's not necessarily pleasant. I know enough women who tried it and had miserable experiences with it to know that it's not sublime for all. Infected nips, plugged ducts, mastitis, etc. One of my sisters had the same experience as you, so I don't deny that it could be wonderful. But for a lot of women, it's anything but.

Last edited by Lilac110; 10-16-2014 at 06:15 PM.. Reason: typos, blasted tablet!
 
Old 10-16-2014, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,588,589 times
Reputation: 39866
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
Oh, give it a rest. She's certainly not doing anything detrimental to the baby. If you were calm, you would have just accepted her personal opinion on it and actually commented on her original question... but here you are still, trying to get her to change her mind. Now... calm down.
I never said she is doing anything detrimental

I said we should all be encouraging her to make an informed choice. Something the father of her baby would also like for her to do. He has rights in this situation too. I sincerely hope they can find some common ground on the issue.

One compromise would be for her to agree to breastfeed for a short period of time, just so the baby gets the benefit of the colostrum. After a few weeks she could transition over to bottles if she still wanted to.

I can assure you I am perfectly calm
 
Old 10-16-2014, 06:06 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 30,115,141 times
Reputation: 32406
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I have said upthread that I understand it is not for every mother and not possible in all situations.

In addition, I would never attempt to speak for all women We are after all, all different.

Isn't that the whole point of feminism?? To celebrate our differences and support one another in our choices?

I just wrote about MY experience and what I know about the subject based on first hand knowledge.

Our OP is young. She is scared. She does not realize that there are things she can still learn on this subject. I am optimistic she will put aside her fears and concerns long enough to make an informed choice, something every feminist here should be encouraging her to do.
In your 3rd paragraph you seem to know about everyone's discomfort...
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