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Old 10-16-2014, 09:50 PM
 
Location: San Francisco, CA
13,920 posts, read 10,878,721 times
Reputation: 12667

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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkheartsandrainbows View Post
i'm pregnant and once i told my baby's father i wasn't going to breastfeed he got upset w/ me.
he said, "what do you mean you won't? it's better for the baby."
now he's been bringing it up and he says he thinks I will change my mind once our child is born
but honestly i have no interest & plan on formula feeding
i think he thinks this bc his brothers wife breastfeeds, makes her own baby food etc
im not against breastfeeding or anything its just not for me.
my mom told me to just do what i want but his family are the ones that live close to me & they
are pressuring me and talking it up about how the milk is better for the baby
part of my issue is pumping… it seems awful and i googled the process and it's def not for me.
anyway once again im not against it in general but it's not for me and i feel like it's my choice to make.
i am looking for advice as to how to get them off my back.
If you do some research, you'll find that there is some real medical evidence that shows breastfeeding to be beneficial to your child, especially early on - and especially with respect to their immune system development. Furthermore, there is medical evidence that it is beneficial for the mother as well with respect to reduction of breast cancer risk. Now, there are also studies that say it's inconclusibe. But overall, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive (or as close to it as possible) for the first six months' of baby's life.

Does this mean your child will turn into a pillar of salt if you feed them formula instead? No. Formula kids grow up, too, and they don't have two heads. And breastfed babies don't come out bullet-proof; the benefits should not be oversold. As with most things in life, there is a distribution of results around a mean, and not all of the results are going to fall exclusively into the "bad" or "good" category, whether you breastfeed or not.

And, as I'm sure you well know, you're an adult and will make your own choices.

But all I'm saying is that, on average, there is at least some evidence of real benefit to it. Nature does not evolve these things without a real purpose. The main thing with the pumping is just that it's annoying, not that it hurts or anything like that.

My $0.02 is... why not just try it? Doesn't hurt to try. You don't know until you actually try. Even if it's a bit of a pain, if it's best for your baby, why not give it a go and see what happens. It's really a relatively short time - less time than you spend being pregnant, which most people will say IS a lot more painful and annoying than breastfeeding. And if it really still just doesn't work for whatever reason, then the option to formula feed is always still there.

Up to you from here... simple as that...

 
Old 10-16-2014, 09:56 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,391 posts, read 14,230,723 times
Reputation: 22886
Bottle or breast is your decision, but it might make it easier to get others to back off if they know you are making an informed decision.
Read everything you can, talk to your doctor, know all the ins and outs and I think it will help when you tell people you KNOW all the pros and cons of each method and this is what your decision is.

PS reusable diapers weren't really that much cheaper IMO, not with the seemingly endless loads of diapers to wash, worse if you use a service.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 10:06 PM
 
1,770 posts, read 1,199,331 times
Reputation: 1686
I'm a guy in his 20's with no kids. I just think it's insanely selfish to deny your child something that is good for them because your boobs hurt. Like WTF, grow up and deal with it. You are a parent now, you chose to bring a life into the world, now take care of it properly.

Last edited by Jaded; 10-17-2014 at 02:11 PM..
 
Old 10-16-2014, 10:10 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 40,013,554 times
Reputation: 62029
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iaskwhy View Post
I'm a guy in his 20's with no kids. I just think it's insanely selfish to deny your child something that is good for them because your boobs hurt. Like WTF, grow up and deal with it. You are a parent now, you chose to bring a life into the world, now take care of it properly.

You want a kid breast fed so badly......do it yourself, you have no idea what in the world you are talking about and once again have missed or intentionally skipped over the entire reason the original poster started the thread.............

Let me enlighten you with the short version: She started the thread to find how to STOP the shaming, pressuring and attempt at guilt for choosing not to breast feed her child.

The key word here is STOP, she did not ask about the benefits of breast feeding, she did not ask for anyone's opinion on whether she should breast feed or not, she asked how to STOP those who are trying to force her to do something she does not want to do.

Have you got it yet?
 
Old 10-16-2014, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11,267 posts, read 13,097,405 times
Reputation: 13454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iaskwhy View Post
I'm a guy in his 20's with no kids. I just think it's insanely selfish to deny your child something that is good for them because your boobs hurt. Like WTF, grow up and deal with it. You are a parent now, you chose to bring a life into the world, now take care of it properly.



When you start breastfeeding, you let us know. Okay, guy?
 
Old 10-16-2014, 11:08 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 40,013,554 times
Reputation: 62029
Every research study is skewed because of the low number of different study samples used.
One would have to study every female in the world her entire life to understand completely how individual each woman is.

As far as being selfish, nah she isn't selfish she just knows and has stated that she is not comfortable with the entire idea of breast feeding. It is her choice and her knowledge of her own body that makes this a good decision for her and the best decision for her child. With bottle feeding she will be better equipped emotionally and physically to bond with child appropriately because there will not be the anxiety and stress she will experience if she is forced to breast feed when she has already chosen not to.

This alone is something you will never understand and the what makes things even less complicated is if those who have an opinion outside of what the original poster asked advice about would keep their opinions to themselves.

Last edited by Jaded; 10-17-2014 at 06:58 AM..
 
Old 10-17-2014, 03:26 AM
 
Location: Europe
2,730 posts, read 2,074,121 times
Reputation: 4158
Breast milk is not just better quality to a child. It has also balancing meaning to your kids mind in many situations. Your baby is programmed to grow rhythm of breast milk and breast feeding. It is childs need and right. People tend to be upset when parents don't want to give best for their kids. Especially if there are no medical reason but just selfish thought. Those are not your breasts those are your kids breasts and your kids milk. But only you have to face the results of all choices what you make so make a decision what with you can live peace with no matter if other people agree with you or not. Just say if they are not going to breast feed your kid either then stay out of your type of motherhood.
 
Old 10-17-2014, 03:35 AM
 
Location: Europe
2,730 posts, read 2,074,121 times
Reputation: 4158
Quote:
Originally Posted by allenk893 View Post
He's the father of your child now, not just your boyfriend. So you have to consider his feelings in this relationship. My advice is to try it at least ONCE when the baby first comes. That way you actually get to experience it and see for sure if it's something you want or don't want and you at least satisfy your boyfriend in that regard.
Actually many mothers (and babies) has to study breast feeding little longer than one time to know when it goes right and well. I heard from newborn mothers that hospital where they went they don't even let a mother to go back home before she learns how to breast feed. If it goes well right away, then good, sometimes it takes couple of days to know.

What comes to fathers opinion, they should have discuss this earlier. As long as he is not going to breast feed (which is possible) he have no rights to force her either.
 
Old 10-17-2014, 03:50 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,997 posts, read 19,960,878 times
Reputation: 12883
As a childless woman, I support breastfeeding. If I ever had the privilege to be a mother, I would choose to breastfeed my child.

However, reading through comments in this thread make me realize that how judgmental people can be, hiding under the umbrella of righteousness.

I suppose the goal is to live each day in a way that inspires others to make the changes they need to in their lives and encourage them into believing that they can, when they are ready. you really donít have to be a holy Judge Judy impersonator to do that.
 
Old 10-17-2014, 07:12 AM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,980,790 times
Reputation: 2365
Closing thread...what the OP does is her business and quite frankly we'll never know one way or the other how her choice will affect her or her child.

But as she is the carrier of said child, it's her decision to make and insults from the Internet will definitely NOT prove it's not the right decision for her. Her body. Her baby. Her choice.

P.S. Some will need to keep repeating the last three sentences before it sinks in!
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