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Old 10-15-2014, 09:51 PM
 
11,938 posts, read 20,400,010 times
Reputation: 19334

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WildOnions View Post
Probably because many people deem womens bodies to be public property.
And it got worse when Hillary Clinton wrote IT TAKES A VILLAGE. Sorry -- I chose to not have kids. I don't want to mother someone else's.

And Allen? My husband has been happily married to a feminist woman for 31 years...

 
Old 10-15-2014, 10:06 PM
 
20,675 posts, read 8,828,814 times
Reputation: 7150
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkheartsandrainbows View Post
i'm pregnant and once i told my baby's father i wasn't going to breastfeed he got upset w/ me.
he said, "what do you mean you won't? it's better for the baby."
now he's been bringing it up and he says he thinks I will change my mind once our child is born
but honestly i have no interest & plan on formula feeding
i think he thinks this bc his brothers wife breastfeeds, makes her own baby food etc
im not against breastfeeding or anything its just not for me.
my mom told me to just do what i want but his family are the ones that live close to me & they
are pressuring me and talking it up about how the milk is better for the baby
part of my issue is pumping… it seems awful and i googled the process and it's def not for me.
anyway once again im not against it in general but it's not for me and i feel like it's my choice to make.
i am looking for advice as to how to get them off my back.

I didn't breast feed either because it wasn't for me. My kids grew up on formula and I don't see any difference it would have make if I breastfeed. This is your decision and yours alone because it's your body. Please don't let anyone force you to do what you don't want. You just have to tell them that's it's not right for you and you really don't want to discuss it anymore. Something this intimate should not be a family discussion anyway.
 
Old 10-15-2014, 10:12 PM
 
20,675 posts, read 8,828,814 times
Reputation: 7150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tampaite View Post
it looks like you HAD already made up your mind NOT to breastfeed even before you got pregnant.

is this something that you discussed with your boyfriend before you got pregnant?? If not, I suggest now is a good time to sit down with him and talk about how you want to raise the kid separately and on your own.

Anyway, if you are being pressured to breastfeed, it's only because there are so MANY advantages and ZERO disadvantage.

Once you have a kid it's not about my body and my choice, it's about what's best for the child and if mother's milk is best you should be giving it unless you have a medical condition that's preventing.

Am sorry if this is harsh and am not trying to belittle you but you should have discussed this before getting pregnant.
What BS. Millions of babies have grown up with formula. And who discusses how you are going to feed your baby before you even get pregnant. I know no one who has done that lol Sorry, her body, her choice.
 
Old 10-15-2014, 11:04 PM
 
Location: Early America
1,707 posts, read 827,250 times
Reputation: 3764
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkheartsandrainbows View Post
i'm pregnant and once i told my baby's father i wasn't going to breastfeed he got upset w/ me.
he said, "what do you mean you won't? it's better for the baby."
now he's been bringing it up and he says he thinks I will change my mind once our child is born
but honestly i have no interest & plan on formula feeding
i think he thinks this bc his brothers wife breastfeeds, makes her own baby food etc
im not against breastfeeding or anything its just not for me.
my mom told me to just do what i want but his family are the ones that live close to me & they
are pressuring me and talking it up about how the milk is better for the baby
part of my issue is pumping… it seems awful and i googled the process and it's def not for me.
anyway once again im not against it in general but it's not for me and i feel like it's my choice to make.
i am looking for advice as to how to get them off my back
.
If you truly believe it is your choice to make then tell them so. Be polite, but firm. If you don't establish boundaries with the in-laws now, you will regret it, IMO, because they will be forever interfering with the rearing of your child.
 
Old 10-15-2014, 11:27 PM
 
Location: DFW/Texas
766 posts, read 695,423 times
Reputation: 2504
OP, your best option is to FIRMLY tell your BF and his family that YOU are making the choice to not breastfeed and they can basically suck eggs. Do not J.A.D.E.- that's Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain- to them or anyone else about your child.

Look, I am VERY pro breastfeeding. I mean, shoot, I breastfed my youngest until she turned 3 and while I thought it was weird as hell in my younger years to breastfeed a child for so long, once I had my youngest it just was a natural thing for the both of us. I LOVED being so close to her in that respect and it bonded us in a way that I'll always be grateful for. My eldest child only breastfed for 9 months and I supplemented her with formula in between because I didn't produce enough and it honestly devastated me when she wanted to stop and I blamed myself because I didn't produce enough to satisfy her. Anyway. If you're truly uncomfortable with breastfeeding then don't do it. I DO recommend that you at least try to pump the colostrum you're going to produce- that stuff is like liquid gold for a baby, believe me. Oh, and the thing about weight loss and breastfeeding is true, too. I gained 20 pounds with my last child and lost 38 pounds in about 2 months after she was born and I totally attribute that to just breastfeeding my butt off, LOL.

The one thing that a lot of mothers don't hear about formula feeding is that it can be a huge pain in the A%& to find a formula that works for your baby. There are so many available on the market and each child is so individual that it can be very hard to find one that fits. If your baby has acid reflux or GERD or gas it can be a real trial to find the right formula to feed him/her, so take that into account, too.

Have you picked up any pregnancy books yet? They will give you a lot of information on what to expect and how your body is changing and your baby is growing- if you're on a budget just hit up a thrift shop and you can get a whole stack of them for dirt cheap. I was induced with my first child (I was pregnant for 41 weeks!!) and had a 27-hour labor. I lasted 18 hours before I got an epidural and it was the right decision for me because my contractions were 1 minute apart and lasted 30 seconds each- so, I had 30 seconds to come down off of that excruciating pain before another one started up. And I started to cuss a lot and my OB was like, "Maybe we should talk about pain management..." LOL. Shoot, I got that epidural, waited another 9 hours or so and then popped that kid out in 8 pushes. I went into natural labor with my second child and that lasted only 13 hours and I popped her out in 5 pushes and 12 hours after she was born I was ready to rock and roll and demanded that they discharge me.

All in all, keep yourself healthy and rested because you are going to need all the energy you can get once that baby comes a knocking, trust me. Some things will be hard and some things will be easy. Every situation is different and the only way to get through it is to just keep on keeping on. Good luck and feel free to message me if you ever have any questions about anything! I love talking about pregnancy and birth, LOL!
 
Old 10-16-2014, 12:19 AM
 
10 posts, read 5,826 times
Reputation: 10
If you want to just please both say , you'll cross that bridge when it comes to it but don't be opposed to it till you try it the internet and personal experiences are always differnt . Tell your bf's family that you respect there opinions and your childs health is just as much as a concern to you but you dont want to compromise your happiness and set boundaries with your bfs family which he has to do . But seriously dont be opposed till you try it ! Its a bonding experience and helps you lose baby weight and you could always just breastfeed for 2 weeks while your home recovering , no pump necessary ! The formula route id say do your reseach on recall history and nutritional properties . Goodluck mama congratulations on the baby . Oh and coconut oil on everything and I mean everything !
 
Old 10-16-2014, 06:18 AM
 
3,637 posts, read 2,699,186 times
Reputation: 4300
Quote:
Originally Posted by allenk893 View Post
Yeah until he says, "I'm out of here" and she becomes another lonely single mother with no future hope of marriage or partner on the horizon. Not a good idea to get bossy and feministy with a man if you intend on keeping one.
Making your own decision as to what to do with your own body is "bossy and feministy"? Get over yourself. It is not "bossy and feministy" or "bossy and masculinity" not to simply relent to every demand OTHER people make about our own bodies. It is called individual freedom. And if you would "Im out of here" at any woman doing this - she is better off without you and you are doing her a favour.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 07:29 AM
 
1,339 posts, read 2,970,571 times
Reputation: 2220
Your breasts, your decision. Period. I do not think anyone (not even the father) has any say in this. Matter closed. If you are going to be posting that you plan to have a C-section, be ready for equally asinine responses about how vaginal delivery is good for the baby, it should be a family decision and all that jazz! Again, it's your body and if you do not wish to push a six-eight pounder through that narrow opening, it's your decision. Period.

I practice what I preach. I let my wife decide on what she wanted to do. She did discuss delivery options and breastfeeding with me, her close friends, with her OB-GYN, and researched the internet, but eventually, I trusted her to make an informed decision. She decided to have a planned C-section and she breastfed infrequently; we used formula for the most part. What mattered the most to me was that she was in the best frame of mind pre and post-pregnancy and never under any unnecessary pressure.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 09:41 AM
 
6,475 posts, read 9,934,523 times
Reputation: 10924
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
My point is that she is asking how to "stop" the badgering, guilt and pressure in regards to this and a lot of what she was given on this thread by everyone who told her "to just try it" is doing exactly what she is trying to stop which is the pressure, badgering and guilt.
Yeah, everyone's being as annoying as her in-laws and bf. I'm sure they'd all be bitching once their in-laws piped in with unsolicited advice, regardless of the topic. Because then, it'd be "disrespectful, invasive, and none of their business."

H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-S-Y.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,572 posts, read 24,160,556 times
Reputation: 48996
I don't have kids, but I know that for people who do all kinds of choices are will be up for discussion with outside parties whether you want them to be or not. People have opinions about things and they generally want to be helpful, even if it comes across as meddling. Today it's breastfeeding, once the kid's born it'll be bedtimes or when to introduce solid foods or potty training or a million other things. The OP's going to have to learn how to say, "thanks for caring, but I'll do what I think is best for my family" and move on with her life, because this is not going to be the last time she'll be confronted with someone else's opinion about her choices..
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