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Old 10-18-2014, 11:38 PM
 
917 posts, read 1,052,692 times
Reputation: 941

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Have you ever cut someone from your life? Why did you do it and how?

There's someone in my life who I truly do care about but it seems to be a one way street where I am the only one trying to communicate, see how theyre doing, etc..

I feel as if Im better off cutting ties and moving on...I tend to overreact about these things so Im not sure at this point..

Do I just stop all communication without saying anything? or say my goodbyes and be done with it?
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Old 10-19-2014, 12:45 AM
 
Location: Planet Woof
3,139 posts, read 3,508,503 times
Reputation: 9889
I had a life long ''friend'' like that. I just quit initiating any contact and never hear from her anymore. I got tired of trying to have a relationship which was never reciprocated. This was a few years ago.

Another was this summer. I realized that this person I had known for 30 years was not at all who I thought he was and I ended the relationship by saying just that.

Some relationships just fizzle out and it's better to let them go.
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Old 10-19-2014, 03:07 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,322 posts, read 4,760,408 times
Reputation: 9765
Say something. Don't be a coward.

Just tell the person you are sick of having a one sided relationship. It is what it is.
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Old 10-19-2014, 05:10 AM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,767,982 times
Reputation: 26716
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissapla12 View Post
Have you ever cut someone from your life? Why did you do it and how?

There's someone in my life who I truly do care about but it seems to be a one way street where I am the only one trying to communicate, see how theyre doing, etc..

I feel as if Im better off cutting ties and moving on...I tend to overreact about these things so Im not sure at this point..

Do I just stop all communication without saying anything? or say my goodbyes and be done with it?
If they aren't communicating back to you, then simply stop actively communicating with them. Then the relationship simply disappears on its own.

I have done this and also actively cut people out of my life.

From what I am reading here it doesn't sound like anything terrible or drastic happened here to do a grand 'goodbye' with the situation, so I would just let sleeping dogs lie as it were. You may touch base now and again as the years go by, but nothing on a daily basis.

If a person was actively irritating me and something culminated into an explosion, then yes, a simple, "Don't call me anymore." 'click" was in order. I don't see this in your case.
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Old 10-19-2014, 06:43 AM
 
7,961 posts, read 9,710,285 times
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You can't cut someone out of your life if they aren't in it to begin with. Sounds like a completely one sided relationship. Just stop your side.

You may find that the other person might realize you were the catalyst for communication and re-engage. You never know.
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Old 10-19-2014, 07:31 AM
 
1,152 posts, read 1,016,953 times
Reputation: 920
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
If they aren't communicating back to you, then simply stop actively communicating with them. Then the relationship simply disappears on its own.

I have done this and also actively cut people out of my life.

From what I am reading here it doesn't sound like anything terrible or drastic happened here to do a grand 'goodbye' with the situation, so I would just let sleeping dogs lie as it were. You may touch base now and again as the years go by, but nothing on a daily basis.

If a person was actively irritating me and something culminated into an explosion, then yes, a simple, "Don't call me anymore." 'click" was in order. I don't see this in your case.
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
You can't cut someone out of your life if they aren't in it to begin with. Sounds like a completely one sided relationship. Just stop your side.

You may find that the other person might realize you were the catalyst for communication and re-engage. You never know.
Excellent advice on both counts. Basically, recognize that there is no relationship here and let it go. If the other person realizes that they've lost something and changes, then you've burned no bridges. I've found its always better to avoid grand drama when you can.
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Old 10-19-2014, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,215 posts, read 7,910,914 times
Reputation: 7740
I find that serrated steak knife works well.
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Old 10-19-2014, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,377 posts, read 12,133,948 times
Reputation: 16624
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissapla12 View Post
Have you ever cut someone from your life? Why did you do it and how?

There's someone in my life who I truly do care about but it seems to be a one way street where I am the only one trying to communicate, see how theyre doing, etc..

I feel as if Im better off cutting ties and moving on...I tend to overreact about these things so Im not sure at this point..

Do I just stop all communication without saying anything? or say my goodbyes and be done with it?
Seems easy, melissa.
Looks like they have cut you out... if what you are saying is accurate.
Just stop contact.
It may be for the best or maybe they are busy and never learned how to be a friend.

Military brats that moved every 3 years have difficult times 'knowing' how
to keep up long friendships.

When they notice you aren't calling anymore...see what happens if they call...then mention you
didn't like the one sided friendship...they may say they are sorry and try harder...
actually maybe no one ever cared for them this much and it could bring you closer.



Oh, now I see Spencgr already said all this!
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Old 10-19-2014, 09:55 AM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,166,874 times
Reputation: 5877
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaseMan View Post
I find that serrated steak knife works well.
LOL!

I had a woman "friend" tell me that I was a mean-spirited b*tch and that she never wanted to hear from me again.

I would have preferred an email.

BTW, she was very religious and ended the relationship because I was freshly divorced. True story.
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Old 10-19-2014, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,094 posts, read 22,960,701 times
Reputation: 35230
Your thread is such perfect timing for me. I let a friendship go this summer. I had a friend who would want to get together with me every year, it was a tradition that we'd go to a particular rodeo each summer. And then there would be random times when she'd need to get away from her husband, and she'd call and ask if she could come stay a few days, and she was always welcome.

But, I started realizing that trying to get her to do anything in-between was like pulling teeth. I finally formally asked her to come visit me and go kayaking with me here, where it is free. Asked her when she could come, and I'd make the reservations. Nothing at all. Waited, waited. I think I followed up with a different form of communication - an email and a text. Nothing.

She's always got some type of drama or medical injury going on, but I know she has friends in the town where she lives that she sees regularly. Well, she accidentally sent a text to me that was obviously meant for someone else about getting together, and I texted her back saying, did you mean me? Nothing.

So I sent her an email and said it hurt my feelings that she didn't even respond with a "no" to my invitation, and that trying to have a relationship with her was like pulling teeth, and I'd prefer it if we just quit being friends, as it hurts my feelings too much. Nothing.

So, I guess that says it all.

Another friend, whom I've also known as long as the other one - about 10+ years, was another friend who was a fair weather friend. She calls me when she has time to kill while she's driving to the dentist's office, for instance. She'll ask me about something, I'm in the middle of my answer and she says, "Well, gotta go, I'm here!"

So, I quit answering the phone, and she doesn't even leave a voicemail. Just goes down the list of her speed dial while she's driving, I guess. Then, two days ago, she emailed me asking when we could talk on the phone because she wants advice on how to manage her rental (I retired from a property manager job).

So, she has no time for me, but wants me available for free consulting services. I didn't respond, and she never called or emailed again. Guess she got her answer from someone else. I've decided to just quit answering her calls and emails. She's another one of those facebook people - she wants you to read about her family and look at all her pictures, use you as a way to kill time, to answer questions - and give nothing real in return.

I'm done. It's sad, though. I've changed and I don't want to put up with people who are fair weather friends anymore. So, my list of friends has really dwindled, but they're real friends.

Thanks for the opportunity to rant about this lol! I was considering starting a thread myself. I guess we can both know we're not alone in this type of friend.

Move on. Stick with the real friends.
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