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View Poll Results: How do you end a close friendship?
Stop returning phone calls, emails and texts 13 22.41%
Try to act boring or pick fights to send a message 0 0%
Try to slow communication by waiting a long time to return texts and phone calls 35 60.34%
Sit them down and tell them you want to end the friendship 10 17.24%
Voters: 58. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-19-2014, 04:23 AM
 
131 posts, read 149,401 times
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In most cases.... if a man and a woman are dating and are in a close relationship but one of them wants it to end there will be a face to face discussion. Tears may be shed but the message is sent clearly that the relationship is ending.

How about a close friendship where the two people no longer have much in common anymore but only one side wants to admit it? If it were you and you were really close friends, how would you end the friendship? The nature of the friendship historically is to communicate with each other nearly everyday so trying to slowly end the friendship is not going to work.
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Old 10-19-2014, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Europe
2,730 posts, read 2,066,983 times
Reputation: 4158
You have to say it like it is.
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Old 10-19-2014, 09:46 AM
 
2,620 posts, read 2,499,096 times
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I usually go with the "drift away" thing. Only once did I have to explain to someone that the friendship wasn't working for me (she was extremely high maintenance). I'd tried to be as nice and respectful as I could but it didn't work. She went ballistic. Sent me a nasty e-mail, said she was "spamming me". Fortunately, it was a long-distance relationship, otherwise, I would have worried she might come trash the house. Moral of the story was to be careful of the people you befriend. There are some folks out there with serious issues.
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Old 10-19-2014, 09:52 AM
 
4,787 posts, read 9,216,192 times
Reputation: 12626
x 2 on the " drift away" idea. Take a long time returning calls, texts, emails. Be busy and unavailable if asked to do something.

I would not have a confrontation. That is simply seeking drama and serves no useful purpose. Just let the friendship die a natural death.
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Old 10-19-2014, 11:15 AM
 
7,282 posts, read 11,443,224 times
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Ah. So this is why friends don't return my calls?

They think I'm boring!

I've never had this happen exactly per se (situations are ALWAYS exaggerated on CD), but I have had the situation where a person I considered a good friend ignored my calls, texts and requests to hang out that I would maybe send every few or several months, and less until I just gave up.

I recently saw said friend at a random get together, and that person said they didn't go out that much anymore. I was like "Okay, cool, whatever." My thinking is that they thought I didn't quite 'fit' into their life anymore.

But to cut someone out completely by just ignoring them is just rude, and it's 'bad business'. I'm a loyal friend. Even if I only see you once or twice a year, I'll come to your birthday party, help you out with a ride, or buy you a drink. To cut me completely out even if you think I'm boring just makes no sense. And it couldn't have been that bad. We used to hang out for hours upon hours for years.

Maybe if you are 16 year old girls, but we are grown adults. Nobody is going to cling and become stalkish here.

But anyway.
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Old 10-19-2014, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Norfolk, VA
6,223 posts, read 5,889,037 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Office Politics View Post
In most cases.... if a man and a woman are dating and are in a close relationship but one of them wants it to end there will be a face to face discussion. Tears may be shed but the message is sent clearly that the relationship is ending.

How about a close friendship where the two people no longer have much in common anymore but only one side wants to admit it? If it were you and you were really close friends, how would you end the friendship? The nature of the friendship historically is to communicate with each other nearly everyday so trying to slowly end the friendship is not going to work.
If its that close the other person probably already knows, just in denial.
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Old 10-19-2014, 11:25 AM
Status: " la recherche d'un emploi" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: South Bay Native
13,291 posts, read 21,827,566 times
Reputation: 23326
Quote:
Originally Posted by Office Politics View Post
In most cases.... if a man and a woman are dating and are in a close relationship but one of them wants it to end there will be a face to face discussion. Tears may be shed but the message is sent clearly that the relationship is ending.

How about a close friendship where the two people no longer have much in common anymore but only one side wants to admit it? If it were you and you were really close friends, how would you end the friendship? The nature of the friendship historically is to communicate with each other nearly everyday so trying to slowly end the friendship is not going to work.
I'm not sure I follow here - you have a 'same sex' friend with whom you communicate nearly every day, and now you find them to be a bore and you're trying to stop your friendship? Is that it?
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Old 10-19-2014, 04:25 PM
 
Location: USA
1,024 posts, read 784,586 times
Reputation: 2314
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
But to cut someone out completely by just ignoring them is just rude, and it's 'bad business'. I'm a loyal friend. Even if I only see you once or twice a year, I'll come to your birthday party, help you out with a ride, or buy you a drink. To cut me completely out even if you think I'm boring just makes no sense. And it couldn't have been that bad. We used to hang out for hours upon hours for years.
This is what I'm thinking.

This isn't a marriage. This is a friendship. There's no rule that says you have to see a friend every day. There are friends I haven't seen in years due to distance, and I don't communicate that much with anymore, but they're still my friends.

To sit them down and say, "I don't want to be your friend anymore" seems so drastic. Why? If there was some terrible wrongdoing, or if this was a romantic relationship where exclusivity was expected, I could understand telling them that it needs to be broken off. But with a friendship, there's no maximum of friends you're allowed to have, and you need to "weed out" the ones who aren't your favorites.

My vote was just drift away, don't have time as much anymore.

Who knows what might happen in the future. Things might change, you and this friend might find yourself going in the same direction again somewhere down the road. There might be a time when you're grateful to have this friend in your life. You never know.

But if you have "cut the cord" by sitting them down and telling them that WE AREN'T FRIENDS ANYMORE then it's going to be awkward.
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Old 10-19-2014, 04:33 PM
 
4,351 posts, read 3,210,748 times
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Drift away. Why be hurtful?

The friendship will fade as both parties realize they don't have much to talk about anymore.
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Old 10-19-2014, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,166,245 times
Reputation: 39828
The slow drift where you are just less and less available, no need to be cruel and break things off abruptly
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