neighbor needing help for HOA block party (children, gossip, retired)
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Thanks so much! I was stuck on what to say (and to lie and was trying to make up an excuse) and you guys made it so simple. I emailed her and asked how she was doing. And said 'I'm sorry but I won't be able to make it this year. Good luck and hope you have fun!
I just hope she doesnt start to dig in and ask why, what i'm doing that day by the hour. If that occurs, then what's the appropriate response? Would it be as simple to just say I have plans or I'm busy.
Just say you have family or friends in town for the weekend and are spending that time with them. Please let us know if she questions further, I'd be amazed if she had that nerve lol.
We have a fundraiser at work coming up that I didn't want to attend for reasons I won't get into, but I just scheduled a test I needed to take that day so it made saying no easy lol.
I actually asked a counselor a million years ago how to say no to people in these kinds of situations. She said, as someone else mentioned above, to just say I have other plans. She said you don't have to explain what those plans are, and even if my plans are just to stay home in my pajamas, that's okay.
And if they press for an explanation, just say, Oh, they're private and change the subject. But, she also told me that as soon as they hear "no," they're not thinking about you anymore after that point anyway, usually. And she was right.
My best friend is Canadian, and her favorite two things to say to people who want help or money, etc., is to say, "Sorry, I can't fit that into my schedule," or "Sorry, that's not in my budget."
If people press, just repeat yourself and change the subject again, or close by saying, "Good luck, I have to go now."
Someone as bold as the woman you describe, is someone who has NO trouble saying no to people herself, you can bet.
You don't need lies or explanations -- just say, "I have other plans that day, I won't be able to help." (Who schedules a meeting at 9 AM on a Sunday morning?!)
She sounds like a rather good organizer, in being able to get people to help. Maybe she needs to be channeling that talent for good, instead of for evil. :-)
Thanks so much! I was stuck on what to say (and to lie and was trying to make up an excuse) and you guys made it so simple. I emailed her and asked how she was doing. And said 'I'm sorry but I won't be able to make it this year. Good luck and hope you have fun!
I just hope she doesnt start to dig in and ask why, what i'm doing that day by the hour. If that occurs, then what's the appropriate response? Would it be as simple to just say I have plans or I'm busy.
For future reference, if asked if you can do something you'd rather not do, just say thanks for asking, but you have a prior commitment. That prior commitment can be sitting on your couch in your pjs.
Remember when you say you have other things to do, if the person continues to ask what they are, they are being intrusive. At this point, they do not deserve any details and a simple "this is personal" is all they deserve.
I would probably tell her that you aren't planning to participate this year, and that you might have been able to help if you'd had more notice, or something like that. It sounds like a committee needs to be formed ahead of time, not at the last minute when she realizes she can't do it alone; or maybe a coordinated volunteer and RSVP list, like when you agree to come, you also agree to contribute to the set up or clean up.
Thanks so much! I was stuck on what to say (and to lie and was trying to make up an excuse) and you guys made it so simple. I emailed her and asked how she was doing. And said 'I'm sorry but I won't be able to make it this year. Good luck and hope you have fun!
I just hope she doesnt start to dig in and ask why, what i'm doing that day by the hour. If that occurs, then what's the appropriate response? Would it be as simple to just say I have plans or I'm busy.
Don't respond to the email. It's not her business to know why you're not available - just that you're not.
Many are suggesting expanding upon why you don't want to help - it doesn't need to be expanded upon. Less is more. Nor do you need to lie or make excuses. A simple "I'm unable to help out." should suffice in a situation like this.
Thanks so much! I was stuck on what to say (and to lie and was trying to make up an excuse) and you guys made it so simple. I emailed her and asked how she was doing. And said 'I'm sorry but I won't be able to make it this year. Good luck and hope you have fun!
I just hope she doesnt start to dig in and ask why, what i'm doing that day by the hour. If that occurs, then what's the appropriate response? Would it be as simple to just say I have plans or I'm busy.
I would tell her the truth.
You suck at organizing and it stresses me out! I did that to one group I joined and I felt so relieved to be done with them. I do give monetary donations through the year, just not my time.
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