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Old 10-25-2014, 06:30 AM
 
420 posts, read 541,641 times
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I don't see why you didn't just ask her why she said that and what she meant.
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Old 10-25-2014, 07:31 AM
 
2,172 posts, read 2,511,494 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pansori View Post
I don't see why you didn't just ask her why she said that and what she meant.
Because I knew what she meant. It was so obvious. The next she texted me asking if I was OK. To see if I had processed what she has told me. I haven't talked to her since. I also told my girlfriend that I will no longer be talking to her because she has a crush on me. My girlfriend accepted this but also asked how I knew she had a crush on me. I just told her by how she flirts and texts me constantly. And that I have blocked her number. I thought about telling her exactly what she texted me, but I know what's going to happen. She's going to text her and make threats and try to put her in her place. I don't want to deal with that drama. I know some of you on here will say I owe her a further explanation of what this girl really said, but I think this will cause too much unnecessary drama.
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Old 10-25-2014, 10:13 AM
 
420 posts, read 541,641 times
Reputation: 734
Well, it's a done deal, then. She's blocked, you're done, can't confront her because your gf will turn all drama queenish. Wash your hands of it and move on, I say. I have had this happen to me and I think this could have just as easily been handled with a "I don't feel the same way" response, but to each his own.
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Old 10-25-2014, 11:31 AM
 
2,762 posts, read 1,999,043 times
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OP:

I am glad you put a stop to it as well.

My husband became friends with a female neighbor of his a couple of months before we started dating.

She wanted his help with her personal problems, including her relationship problems with a male friend/neighbor of his that she was going out with.

Problem was this...

She never told him that she ultimately wanted to convince him to want to date her by having him help her with her problems. He told her that he only wanted to be her friend, and she told him and me the same thing.

But...

Her actions did not match her words.

She had him over for lunch, dinner, to listen to music, and to talk to him at her place several times while we were in a committed relationship.

She left her personal belongings at his place.

She wanted to spend every waking moment with him, usually at her place.

She would constantly text him to find out if he could come over to her place alone so she could talk to him.

When he told her that he was going to propose marriage to me, she told him that I was not good enough for him.

Both of us found out from the male friend/neighbor of his whom she was dating at the time that when she found out that he wanted to propose marriage to me, she told him *my husband's male friend/neighbor* that she wanted to go out with him on dates and that she liked him as a dating partner. My husband's male friend/neighbor had to tell her several times before it sank into her head that he was off the market regarding dating.

She is no longer his friend for several reasons.

They were never on the same page despite her telling me and him that she only wanted to be his friend.

And yes, I feel that his missed several clues about her intentions and her feelings, but at least he ended their friendship.

I caught on to her antics before he did. You have to notice the signs early on in the friendship before it starts getting out of hand.
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Old 10-25-2014, 12:27 PM
 
468 posts, read 513,481 times
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Wasn't there a whole movie on this topic? Not the drunk/sober texting/dialing part, but the man who had only female friends?

I Love You, Man (2009) - IMDb

I mean, Jared seems pretty sure "in retrospect" this is legit interest, but it has happened. Some men just get along better with women/in a female society, and they don't want to sleep with all or most of those women.
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Old 10-25-2014, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 469,169 times
Reputation: 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
so a mutual friend of both myself and my girlfriend texted me yesterday that she loved me. I don't believe it to be a "I love you as a friend " I love you. I haven't responded to her text yet. I really don't know what to say to her other than I kinda feel offended ( is that right?)This friend doesn't really talk to my girlfriend all too often, but does text me quite a bit. All of our texts are strictly Platonic (with the exception of yesterday). We have been friends for around 3 years and I consider her to be more of a sister type friend than anything else. I was considering telling my girlfriend about her text, but I am still on the rail about it. I am not sure how she will take it. She may blame me, she may get upset and confront our mutual friend. I don't really know what she will do. Anyone here have experience in this type of situation? How did it turn out?
If my bf shared this text with me he'd win major points in my book...but then again I am all for transparency and honesty. The way I usually rationalize whether I should share something with someone is by first measuring the importance of the person I'd be sharing this information with, being that this is your girlfriend, I'd say she's pretty important.

What can you potentially gain or lose from being so transparent? Only you know your girlfriend, is she easily rattled? Is she prone to insecurity? Or does she trust you? Does she appreciate honesty? Is she level-headed?

Like I said, for me I'd appreciate the honest route, because GOD help a man if I find out he hid something like this from me! Hiding always makes a person question someone's motives, but no one can ever fault you for being honest.
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Old 10-25-2014, 05:29 PM
 
1,831 posts, read 2,122,509 times
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She knows how your girl really feels about you and just wants you to know she is there for you. Oh it is not manly to stress over small drama.
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Old 10-25-2014, 07:38 PM
 
2,762 posts, read 1,999,043 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mortpes View Post
She knows how your girl really feels about you and just wants you to know she is there for you. Oh it is not manly to stress over small drama.
Ok...

But to text him I love you?

Exactly how does that translate to I am here for you?
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Old 10-25-2014, 08:28 PM
 
10,795 posts, read 8,007,981 times
Reputation: 16901
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
Because I knew what she meant. It was so obvious. The next she texted me asking if I was OK. To see if I had processed what she has told me. I haven't talked to her since. I also told my girlfriend that I will no longer be talking to her because she has a crush on me. My girlfriend accepted this but also asked how I knew she had a crush on me. I just told her by how she flirts and texts me constantly.
There you have it. She was texting you too often, and flirting to boot. The warning signals have been there all along.

I agree with those who insist men and women can maintain a platonic friendship. Key word being "can". All too often one or the other wants it to go beyond platonic.
You were a bit late to catch on to her intention but you did, and good for you. Sounds like you and your girlfriend have a healthy relationship!
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Old 10-25-2014, 11:06 PM
 
639 posts, read 1,542,659 times
Reputation: 1308
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
Because I knew what she meant. It was so obvious. The next she texted me asking if I was OK. To see if I had processed what she has told me. I haven't talked to her since. I also told my girlfriend that I will no longer be talking to her because she has a crush on me. My girlfriend accepted this but also asked how I knew she had a crush on me. I just told her by how she flirts and texts me constantly. And that I have blocked her number. I thought about telling her exactly what she texted me, but I know what's going to happen. She's going to text her and make threats and try to put her in her place. I don't want to deal with that drama. I know some of you on here will say I owe her a further explanation of what this girl really said, but I think this will cause too much unnecessary drama.
Your girlfriend sounds like a nutcase. Why would you want to marry and have kids with someone who (apparently) routinely threatens other people?
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