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Old 10-25-2014, 11:21 PM
 
1,774 posts, read 1,829,202 times
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You have a controlling girlfriend who you are afraid to be honest with because she threatens other people and another girl who constantly flirts with you and said she loves you. It sounds like you picked the wrong girl.
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Old 10-26-2014, 02:09 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 470,279 times
Reputation: 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by rzzzz View Post
You have a controlling girlfriend who you are afraid to be honest with because she threatens other people and another girl who constantly flirts with you and said she loves you. It sounds like you picked the wrong girl.
You're definitely reaching. You don't know anything about the OP's relationship or his girlfriend. Relationships are very sacred, and most people aren't going to take too kindly to hearing that someone outside of their partnership is looking to make a move on their SO...especially when this is someone that knows of their relationship.

I'd be willing to bet you'd be pissed and have a thing or two to say too.

Bottom line, OP's friend had the intention of trying to take someone else's boyfriend, that's betrayal and insensitivity on multiple levels.
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Old 10-26-2014, 02:32 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 470,279 times
Reputation: 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia View Post
Another possibility is this is a test and your girlfriend put her up to it to see how you would react, if you would hit the bait or put her in place. If so, your response so far will be seen by your gf as a big fail because you have neither set the friend straight nor confided in your gf.
What type of soap opera drama is this?? You are reaching for sooo much here that its best you just leave it alone. Please, let's not get all psychob**** paranoia on here
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Old 10-26-2014, 05:19 AM
 
1,339 posts, read 2,960,947 times
Reputation: 2220
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
Because I knew what she meant. It was so obvious. The next she texted me asking if I was OK. To see if I had processed what she has told me. I haven't talked to her since. I also told my girlfriend that I will no longer be talking to her because she has a crush on me. My girlfriend accepted this but also asked how I knew she had a crush on me. I just told her by how she flirts and texts me constantly. And that I have blocked her number. I thought about telling her exactly what she texted me, but I know what's going to happen. She's going to text her and make threats and try to put her in her place. I don't want to deal with that drama. I know some of you on here will say I owe her a further explanation of what this girl really said, but I think this will cause too much unnecessary drama.
And you plan to marry this woman?
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Old 10-26-2014, 07:20 AM
 
2,764 posts, read 2,005,366 times
Reputation: 2647
Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
There you have it. She was texting you too often, and flirting to boot. The warning signals have been there all along.

I agree with those who insist men and women can maintain a platonic friendship. Key word being "can". All too often one or the other wants it to go beyond platonic. You were a bit late to catch on to her intention but you did, and good for you. Sounds like you and your girlfriend have a healthy relationship!
Regarding the bolded part in pink...

That is what is frustrating about opposite sex friendships. Especially when one of you is in a committed relationship with someone else.
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Old 10-26-2014, 07:36 AM
 
2,764 posts, read 2,005,366 times
Reputation: 2647
Quote:
Originally Posted by MMorena View Post
You're definitely reaching. You don't know anything about the OP's relationship or his girlfriend. Relationships are very sacred, and most people aren't going to take too kindly to hearing that someone outside of their partnership is looking to make a move on their SO...especially when this is someone that knows of their relationship.

I'd be willing to bet you'd be pissed and have a thing or two to say too.

Bottom line, OP's friend had the intention of trying to take someone else's boyfriend, that's betrayal and insensitivity on multiple levels.
I agree.

My husband had a female friend who acted like this when it came to our relationship. She wanted to take him away from me despite the fact that she knew we were a couple and that my husband kept on telling her that he only wanted to be friends with her.

He is no longer friends with her.
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Old 10-26-2014, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 470,279 times
Reputation: 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05 View Post
I agree.

My husband had a female friend who acted like this when it came to our relationship. She wanted to take him away from me despite the fact that she knew we were a couple and that my husband kept on telling her that he only wanted to be friends with her.

He is no longer friends with her.
Good. I'm glad it backfired on her. I seriously don't understand some people, they have absolutely no respect for another person's relationship but then think they deserve all the happiness and fairytale endings in the world.
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Old 10-29-2014, 07:00 AM
 
342 posts, read 346,086 times
Reputation: 338
OP - this EXACT thing happened to me with an old guy friend. We had been friends as kids and reconnected about 2 yrs ago. We did the whole "catch up" texting. But then our texting relationship continued. I really enjoyed our exchanges. We are both married with kids and although we spent a lot of time texting, overall he's a busy guy and was also pretty inconsistent and hot and cold. So I was enjoying a "new" friendship with an old friend but he didn't show signs of paying inappropriate amounts of attention to me or anything like that. As a matter of fact, several times over the course of our reconnecting I found myself thinking, "Oh, I guess we're done being back in touch", but then he'd resurface like nothing was amiss.

One night during a text exchange he throws out the "I love you". Out of left field. No build up, no segueway. I was pretty sure it was a mistext. Actually I think I texted back "Pfffft". Haha. Oh! Now that I think about it, he said it after I told him I noticed he had just friended an ex girlfriend on Facebook! But still, it was a weird exchange. And for days I wondered if it was a mistext.

A couple of weeks later, it happened again. He was teasing me about something. Drops it again, this time with my name attached.

I'm still not sure what to make of it. I don't think he meant it in a romantic way. We have a long history and we both really do care about each other. And it's not like he was "pursuing" me. But it definitely shifted the friendship. We don't keep in touch nearly as much anymore, which makes me sad. But something about throwing those words out there…weird. Especially since the nature of our friendship is a lot of teasing and joking around.

Well, anyway. I'd be interested in knowing what led up to her saying that to you. What was the context?

If this is a friend that you value, then "dumping" her bcs she expresses that she cares about you seems cold-hearted. But big words like that, as you can see from my experience shifts things.

I guess I'm looking at it from a different perspective than most. At this point in my life, I feel like "real" connections are rare, so I cherish them. Of course, if you are certain that her "I love you" was more than platonic, then I guess that informs your reaction. But can you be sure? I wasn't.
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