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Old 10-28-2014, 11:12 AM
 
3,491 posts, read 5,155,513 times
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Use your maiden name. You are not legally obligated to use your married name. Lots of women don't even change their last name after marriage.
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Old 10-28-2014, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
12,116 posts, read 10,250,248 times
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This honestly sounds like the start of a 48 hours episode. Stay far, far away.
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Old 10-28-2014, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,770,136 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weirdout1212 View Post
Looks like I'm not being paranoid...wow.

I'm hesitant to file a restraining order, because I don't want him knowing my new last name...honestly I think that's sort of my saving grace. That and the fact that he doesn't know where I live.

I am keeping a log of everything for if worst does come to worst.

Making me creeped out seeing all those emails, and the trend. In several, he said that he hates me, and that only anger makes his pain go away.

Even my husband started worrying a bit from that....but he insists that I'm ok since Zack doesn't know my last name or address.
Not to freak you out even more, but if Zack knows your maiden name, it will be easy for him to find you if he's willing to spare no expense. He can pay for background searches and all he needs is your maiden name and previous address.
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Old 10-28-2014, 01:21 PM
 
12 posts, read 9,995 times
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Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
Not to freak you out even more, but if Zack knows your maiden name, it will be easy for him to find you if he's willing to spare no expense. He can pay for background searches and all he needs is your maiden name and previous address.
He doesn't know my maiden name. Which is good, because he would definitely spare no expense. And he doesn't have any of my physical addresses.

All he has is my email address and phone number. Both of which are listed under pseudonyms.

People always gave me a hard time about being overprotective of my privacy, but as you can see, the day has come where my caution has saved my ass.
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Old 10-28-2014, 01:31 PM
 
3,460 posts, read 2,180,908 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weirdout1212 View Post
Hubby has been in the loop the whole time. He thinks that he'll go away as long as I don't respond to him. I hope he's right.
If you don't want someone to contact you, you change your phone numbers and e-mail addresses and delete your social media accounts. If anything comes in the postal mail it should be handed back to the local post office and have them stamp refused on it and return to sender.

If a guy you knew starts having romantic feelings for you when they are clearly unwelcome, you should stop being friends with him and replying because it only encourages him.
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Old 10-28-2014, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,770,136 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weirdout1212 View Post
He doesn't know my maiden name. Which is good, because he would definitely spare no expense. And he doesn't have any of my physical addresses.

All he has is my email address and phone number. Both of which are listed under pseudonyms.

People always gave me a hard time about being overprotective of my privacy, but as you can see, the day has come where my caution has saved my ass.
Oh, thank goodness he doesn't have that info. It would be a nightmare. Too much information is made public. Years ago you were able to do a reverse look up on a phone number. That info isn't free anymore and most people won't pay to get the info. I would change the phone number and you can always send his email to spam or set your settings to high so if he uses different email addresses they'll just go to a spam folder.
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Old 10-28-2014, 01:53 PM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,772,448 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weirdout1212 View Post
He doesn't know my maiden name. Which is good, because he would definitely spare no expense. And he doesn't have any of my physical addresses.

All he has is my email address and phone number. Both of which are listed under pseudonyms.

People always gave me a hard time about being overprotective of my privacy, but as you can see, the day has come where my caution has saved my ass.
He doesn't know your maiden name or your married name?
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Old 10-28-2014, 02:07 PM
 
3,491 posts, read 5,155,513 times
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You knew him for YEARS and he never knew your last name? That's really odd.
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Old 10-28-2014, 02:55 PM
 
2,054 posts, read 1,090,606 times
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He doesn't know your maiden name when you've been friends for years? It doesn't matter if you haven't told him your married name; if he knows your husband or his name, he can find you. Also your marriage certificate is a matter of public record- if he knows when and where you were married, he can find out your married name. What about friends that you have in common? Have you told them not to release any information about you? My cousin was telling me about people who can find out all sorts of information about you just because you appeared in the background in a picture on someone's Facebook. Make sure that you are off of social media entirely.

Do consult a lawyer who is knowledgeable about stalkers. You need expert advice.
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Old 10-28-2014, 02:56 PM
 
12 posts, read 9,995 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
You knew him for YEARS and he never knew your last name? That's really odd.
There was never really any need for him to know. No occasion where he would naturally find out (traveling together, working together, etc). He was a casual friend I met on campus, not a co-worker or anyone I dated.
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