Black Sheep of the Family - UNITE!

[HappyFarm34]

Black sheep here....Baaaa Baaaa


i knew I was a misfit from a very young age. I remember being really young like maybe 10-12yrs. old and secretly wanting something "bad" to happen to my parents so I could be adopted by another family.

I was the sibling that NEVER dated (fwb relationships didn't count, neither the couple dates from men I've met online.). I was "slow" developmentally. My siblings got their license at 16, I got mine at 18.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was a few months shy of being 30.

Partying in my early adult years like most do wasn't my scene. When I was in my 20's, I seriously felt like I should of been a nun. No joke. That's how boring my life was.

[3rdGen SFan]

I'm the black sheep in my family and among my other relatives, partly because when I was young I hung around bad influences and became a bad influence for my younger brother (who was also a black sheep for a while). My sister partly blames me for my brother's death (he ODed), and I partly blame myself, too, although by the time he ODed we were no longer hanging around with each other because we weren't getting along that well with each other. If I would have been a better role model for him, he probably wouldn't have died.

I'm also the black sheep because the majority of my relatives are homophobic and they think I'm gay. I've had homophobic implications said to and about me, mostly by my dad, but also by my siblings and my uncle's girlfriend. The irony is I'm asexual, but even if I were gay what kind of family members look down at someone who's gay?

In their minds I'm gay, and I really don't care much about being mistaken for gay, but I don't like the homophobia although I've grown used to it since it's not only relatives who have directed homophobia at me but also past "friends"--an ex girlfriend, acquaintances, and even a few strangers (for a variety of reasons: born looking androgynous or effeminate, for not being a sexual person, and not wanting to be fixed up on dates although I have sometimes).

Oh well, I figure somebody has to have the 'black sheep' job title in every family so there's someone the family can gossip about.

[Zeurich]

Is something wrong with me because I don't care if I fit in or not that much.

[3rdGen SFan]

Originally Posted by Zeurich

Is something wrong with me because I don't care if I fit in or not that much.

Okay, but you cared enough to reply. I can paint your wool black for you.

[AK-Cathy]

Baaaa. Another black sheep. From early on. I remember my mom asking me at 6 or 7 why I couldn't "play the game" and accept the herd of elephants in the middle of the living room without fighting back. It took 30 years to realize that I was just built differently than most people.

I am a creative type but what made me a black sheep was consistently challenging assumptions, living consciously and questioning and indicting the status quo. Ironically after all those years my "blackness" has value to my family because at some point we all get old and experienced enough to figure out that the vast majority of social engineering (I'm not talking about kindness or living by the golden rule) is crap. Now my family is beginning to see it the way I've been seeing it all along and I'm not such a crackpot.

[woxyroxme]

I went through life as the black sheep in my own family, it used to bother me when I was younger but now at my advanced age I have become the patriarch of the other black sheep in the family, I have been told by nieces and nephews that I was the one person who understood and was there for them when no one else was, not even their parents.