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Old 11-01-2014, 03:23 PM
 
2,348 posts, read 3,917,516 times
Reputation: 2199

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He likes you in a romantic way, in his view he is friend-zoned, but he thinks he can somehow still get you. Best bet is to cut this dude off completely, all he wants is in your pants/to date you, nothing you say or do will change that. He been like this for a while? Like while he was married?

"It prevents other guys from talking to me as well."

That is part of the whole plan, he knows this, this is why he does this.
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Old 11-01-2014, 03:27 PM
 
Location: on a big rock hurling through space
347 posts, read 326,055 times
Reputation: 485
Quote:
Originally Posted by k350 View Post
He been like this for a while? Like while he was married?
No, we worked together as contractors in the past when he was married. No flirting or anything then. This started after he was divorced and I reconnected while seeking him out for another project after moving back to the city.

Yes, this has been going on for too long. I probably shouldn't even go tonight.

Last edited by MyScreenName; 11-01-2014 at 03:41 PM..
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Old 11-01-2014, 03:42 PM
 
3,964 posts, read 3,193,182 times
Reputation: 12887
You probably shouldnt go tonight. You really need to cut off contact with him until he gets himself under control, or finds someone else to smother.

Sounds a little creepy to me.
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Old 11-01-2014, 03:51 PM
 
Location: between three Great Lakes.
1,742 posts, read 1,934,381 times
Reputation: 5812
Stop feeling sorry for this guy; you're not a social worker. You don't owe him sympathy. Back away! He sounds like a loser. Maybe he's divorced because he didn't "hear" his wife's warnings.
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Old 11-01-2014, 04:05 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,985 posts, read 14,638,446 times
Reputation: 14868
Women sometimes put themselves into bad situations because they didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, even though warning signs were screaming at them. I don't want to hear about you on the news tomorrow. Zenstyle is right - it's not your job to rescue his self-esteem. You owe yourself safety first, and he is acting very creepy.
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Old 11-01-2014, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Cleverly concealed
960 posts, read 1,518,472 times
Reputation: 993
I feel bad for him. He sounds like me, though without the tantrums (I'm more of an emotionless person). I definitely had a problem with following friends around in social situations, especially attractive women. I believe he views you as a romantic possibility too, so if you can't set him straight face-to-face, you'll have to ignore him and possibly eliminate all contact. If I can take a hint, with my lack of social skills and awareness, then I'm sure he can too.
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Old 11-01-2014, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,380,615 times
Reputation: 39851
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyScreenName View Post
No, we worked together as contractors in the past when he was married. No flirting or anything then. This started after he was divorced and I reconnected while seeking him out for another project after moving back to the city.

Yes, this has been going on for too long. I probably shouldn't even go tonight.
NO!!!! Don't miss the event just because of him. If you do that you are letting him impact your life WAY too much.

Go! Have fun! Deal with him if he shows up - should only take a couple of minutes to firmly tell him to back off and then get back to your friends.
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Old 11-02-2014, 12:04 AM
 
11,245 posts, read 21,689,471 times
Reputation: 8855
Isn't a costume party an ideal place to hide from someone? Just wear a costume that makes you unrecognizable!

In any case, I guess this party already happened.
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Old 11-02-2014, 12:45 AM
 
405 posts, read 417,766 times
Reputation: 464
I'm late in posting here so the party has already happened or is happening now I assume.

This sounds like a backwards plan and even just plain mean, but it actually does work. You said you've told the guy that you only want to be friends and aren't interested in dating anybody. The problem is he knows you will eventually date somebody and in his mind, he thinks it should be him.

So you find a guy that's the complete opposite of him and ask your friend to help you hook up with him. It doesn't have to happen and it doesn't even have to be somebody that you even like, but it will basically tell your friend that he's not your type. Or, if you don't want to do that, you can find a woman that's nothing like you and start telling him that you think him and her would make a good couple.

Even if he is your type, but you just want to remain friends with him and nothing more, then this plan can work. I have another plan that's meaner and could backfire against you so I won't even tell you about it, but the other plan should provide you with some results.
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Old 11-02-2014, 01:21 AM
 
1,140 posts, read 1,038,164 times
Reputation: 2147
^Thats just being a female dog if you ask me. Just telling him hes being creepy/too clingy should suffice. Btw how'd it go?
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