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Old 11-01-2014, 07:19 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 1,417,509 times
Reputation: 2466

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lilyflower, that's what I keep thinking... "I've never even met this person..." I appreciate the responses. I don't know why I'm vacillating on how to handle this. My gut really is telling me to just let it go.
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Old 11-01-2014, 08:30 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 1,417,509 times
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lily, thank you for that msg. I think you are right.
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Old 11-01-2014, 08:32 PM
 
1,419 posts, read 1,332,197 times
Reputation: 1094
Default Yep

Quote:
Originally Posted by winterbird View Post
I began communicating (via email/chat/occasional phone calls) with a woman I met while taking an online class. She's a talker and somewhat needy. I initially didn't mind comunicating because I had the time and she seemed harmless enough.

Fast forward almost a year. She gets offended if I don't respond immediately. The last instance happened this past week. She sent me an email asking for a favor. I didn't respond the first day, so that afternoon I receive an email with her calling me out ("numbnut", "you're not a real friend anyway" and "get over yourself"). She then proceeds to ask for another favor.

My first reaction was to get offended. I sat on the emails a few days and decided that I didn't need to, nor want to, respond to her.

I feel guilty that I don't want to continue communicating with her. She's old enough to be my mother, so I think that is part of the problem...lol. I feel like it's disrespectful not to talk to her...idk.

Does anyone have any experience ending a "friendship" with someone you met online?

If there are other threads here on CD that have a similar topic, I'd appreciate the links.

Thanks

Say, "Stop stalking me."
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Old 11-01-2014, 08:34 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 1,417,509 times
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LOL - that's clean and to the point mistermobile... Not a bad idea at all.
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Old 11-01-2014, 11:50 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
13,344 posts, read 17,327,953 times
Reputation: 19653

Beatrice - Esurance - I unfriend you - YouTube
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Old 11-02-2014, 01:51 AM
 
Location: Upper Midwest
1,877 posts, read 3,711,791 times
Reputation: 1884
I would tread lightly. Odds are, she is harmless, but try not to provoke her. The fact is, you have not met face-to-face so you don't truly know what you are dealing with. Give her the respect you would want yourself. (Yes, even though this woman old enough to be your mom called you Numbnut. )

Here is what I would type to her:

Harriet (fake name),

As hard as this is for me, I have made the decision to remove you from my e-mail address book, my Facebook, my Pinterest, and my (blah blah whatever other sites you are linked to her by). This online friendship isn't working for me.

It is unrealistic to expect immediate e-mail responses. It is irrational to call me names, insult me, and then act like you didn't just do that and then re-ask a favor of me.

The truth is, we have never actually met. You are relying too heavily on someone who isn't even in the same zip code.

I'm sorry, but I think it's best for both of us to end this friendship. I wish you the best. I hope you find what you're looking for in a friend and I hope you find it offline.

I respectfully ask that you please not contact me again, for any reason.... Not even to reply to this e-mail.

Best wishes,
Winter bird

************************************************** ****************

Take a couple minutes to go out and dance in the street... And then anticipate that she probably will try to call, text, email, Facebook you some kind of response... But hold out hope that she won't. And if she does, don't even read it. Just delete it.

And no matter how she may try to provoke you into a response - guilt trip, apology, antagonism, jokes, charm, etc. - ignore it all. With the holidays coming she may try to butter you up with holiday greetings too. Ignore it. Let her just fade away.

Or maybe she will surprise you and really go away quickly and for good, with no fight. You can hope.

Unless your instinct tells you otherwise, I wouldn't block her from anything. Just remove her from all your sites and act like she never happened. If she mailed you stuff, give it away or toss it.

If she persists, let your silence send the strongest message.
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Old 11-02-2014, 01:43 AM
 
271 posts, read 344,415 times
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honestly i'd just block her. she called you names? told you to get over yourself? no, just no. there is no friendship to end. she sounds psycho. btw, what was the favor she was asking for?
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Old 11-02-2014, 06:47 AM
 
5,659 posts, read 2,699,721 times
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Go with what you think is best for you.

Although, do be honest and to the point and give her closure.

She deserves that.
You were a part of the back and forth.
She deserves the respect of closure.
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Old 11-02-2014, 07:03 AM
 
Location: Long Neck,De
4,792 posts, read 6,764,640 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atalanta View Post
Go with what you think is best for you.

Although, do be honest and to the point and give her closure.

She deserves that.
You were a part of the back and forth.
She deserves the respect of closure.
Why does she deserve respect? She would just come back with another nasty reply. My recommendation just ignore her. She will get the hint.
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Old 11-02-2014, 07:29 AM
 
12,120 posts, read 28,458,930 times
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I have experience with this. my mom passed away in August 2011. I was visiting my moms house and a few days before she passed i posted on the grief forums because i was feeling kind of upset and sad

a married woman(Im single) a few years older than I posted back and we began first PM ing for a few months then we started personal e mails. at no time did i ever make any passes (Im far from that type). they actually invited me to fly to their place and at one point i was thinking about it but i never did

when i ended up in the hospital from cancer surgery she gave me their cell # so i could call them and i did. it was a nice convo. the biopsy came out negative and i was doing fine

12/31/12 was the last e mail i ever received from her. e mails just stopped without warning. the only "hint" if it was even a hint was that she once made a comment about how she and her husband were "different" and had a certain type of philosophy about life. i don't know what they meant. they were also planning to move. maybe they just couldn't keep e mailing me but since 12/31 was the last e mail i wondered if they made a "New years Resolution" to no longer e mail me

it didn't affect me that much and i did get over it

i also had a personal e mail relationship with a 25 year old girl i met on a chat board for about 18 months from 3/03 to 12/04. she had a boyfriend and again i never tried to make a pass. in 12/04 it was the last time i ever heard from her. don't know what happened but again it didn't really affect me

well that's mine...
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