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Old 11-01-2014, 06:21 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 1,418,667 times
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I began communicating (via email/chat/occasional phone calls) with a woman I met while taking an online class. She's a talker and somewhat needy. I initially didn't mind comunicating because I had the time and she seemed harmless enough.

Fast forward almost a year. She gets offended if I don't respond immediately. The last instance happened this past week. She sent me an email asking for a favor. I didn't respond the first day, so that afternoon I receive an email with her calling me out ("numbnut", "you're not a real friend anyway" and "get over yourself"). She then proceeds to ask for another favor.

My first reaction was to get offended. I sat on the emails a few days and decided that I didn't need to, nor want to, respond to her.

I feel guilty that I don't want to continue communicating with her. She's old enough to be my mother, so I think that is part of the problem...lol. I feel like it's disrespectful not to talk to her...idk.

Does anyone have any experience ending a "friendship" with someone you met online?

If there are other threads here on CD that have a similar topic, I'd appreciate the links.

Thanks
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Old 11-01-2014, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,560 posts, read 4,067,951 times
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I'd say that, with those insults, you have a good reason not to continue the friendship. This "instant friendship" created by on-line encounters isn't my definition of true friendship. Her expectations for immediate responses is unrealistic and wearing. While I'm the type that tends to prefer closure to simply drifting away, I suspect that this "friendship" probably doesn't deserve a decent burial. There's little that you can say that would not be hurtful or unnecessarily cruel.
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Old 11-01-2014, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,005 posts, read 19,967,955 times
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She doesn't respect your boundaries. She needs to understand that she hasn't met you in person and there are lines should never be crossed.

Can you imagine how would she be like in person? I say end the "friendship" (whatever you like to call it) now. She will get the picture and eventually find another sucker to bully.
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Old 11-01-2014, 06:52 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 1,418,667 times
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Would you just not respond (so far I haven't to these last two emails), or would you offer an explanation?
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Old 11-01-2014, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Europe
1,618 posts, read 2,773,312 times
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Maybe you could say: please do not insult me, is responding late a crime?

I have had several online friendships, with some people I am still in touch but not with others, for example a man I met online wanted to meet me personally and I didn't (or at least a bit later) he got offended and weeks after I deleted him from FB.
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Old 11-01-2014, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,005 posts, read 19,967,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winterbird View Post
Would you just not respond (so far I haven't to these last two emails), or would you offer an explanation?
Absolutely no. If you offer an explanation, she would just give you another guilt trip. I bet she thinks you are interested in her or something. Some people are delusional enough to believe in their cyber space super power. You act a bit friendly, they think you are romantically interested. She will eventually get over it.
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Old 11-01-2014, 07:07 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 1,418,667 times
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We're both females (married). I don't want to respond (glad you agree) as I too think she'd try to lay a guilt trip on me. I agree that online friendships aren't real. There isn't the face to face interaction that allows you to get a true sense of a person.

Catbelle, I did contemplate over the past couple of days for calling her out on her insults. Then I decided to take some time and see if I even care to receive an apology from her.
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Old 11-01-2014, 07:15 PM
 
Location: LA, CA/ In This Time and Place
5,433 posts, read 3,489,413 times
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Offer an explanation on why you are ending it and call her out for being disrespectful and needy. That would really make her think rather than drifting away. It will show that her attitude is wrong. Then you can ignore and drift away.
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Old 11-01-2014, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,005 posts, read 19,967,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winterbird View Post
We're both females (married). I don't want to respond (glad you agree) as I too think she'd try to lay a guilt trip on me. I agree that online friendships aren't real. There isn't the face to face interaction that allows you to get a true sense of a person. .
Honestly, with a response like that, I think it is pretty safe to assume that this person has some kind of emotional issues. Not trying to act like armchair psychologist here, but how many of us throw tantrum like that ? You are just a person she hasn't seen in person. I don't think you should continue this friendship.
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Old 11-01-2014, 07:18 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 1,418,667 times
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I hadn't thought of calling her out and still ending the friendship...lol. I was thinking if I called her out and she apologized I'd have to continue responding to her emails and the occasional phone call. thanks for offering that as an option.
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