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I think Emily Post would be mad. Me too. Etiquette and all that stuff. Shouldnt the sister be involved in the wedding as at least a bridesmaid, regardless of friendships? It's still family.
I was a bridesmaid once and it was an extremely unpleasant experience, mostly involving the mother of the bride. I don't have a sister, but I have brothers. When they married, I told them as soon as they announced their engagement, to tell their intended, no offense, but I do NOT want to be in the wedding party. Lucky for me, they honored my wishes and I enjoyed my role as a guest wearing an appropriate cocktail dress of my choosing and not having to be marooned at the wedding party table. The couple got better gifts from me since I didn't have the expenses of a wedding party member.
OP, you seriously need therapy if you are still this upset about something that happened a DECADE ago.
I am stunned, and very sad for you -- not because you didn't get to be a bridesmaid (who cares??? nobody rational), but because you have CHOSEN to hold a grudge for this long. Please get help, and get over this.
You sound horrible. You didn't get along with your sister growing up, you didn't talk to each other often, and you willingly acknowledge that the people she chose as bridesmaids she was closer to than she was to you. And now, you're holding a grudge that you weren't her bridesmaid and not willing to try and repair the relationship you have with her. No wonder she didn't choose you! You're drama!
If she had chosen you as a bridesmaid, you probably would've been whiny and upset that you weren't her maid of honor. Then you probably would've complained about the dresses, or having to buy your dress yourself, or how you thought you deserved a bigger bouquet for being her sister, or how you didn't like where the bachelorette party was being thrown.
Get over yourself. Your sister got married, and your only "job" as her sister was to be happy for her, not to hold a grudge for however long because you weren't automatically asked to be a bridesmaid, just by virtue of being related (and not by virtue of a good relationship with her).
I can't say I am surprised - my mother is in her 80s and still holding grudges for things that happened over 50 years ago.
It's a miserable way to live your life. And you can bet the only person you are "hurting" is yourself. If I were your sister, I wouldn't be making any effort at all to be kind to you . . . I would just leave you in the pouty corner to stew in your own juice for the next 50 years.
Could this be a joke? I mean, how did the OP think we (readers) would react when she said it's been 10 years? Did she really expect anyone on here to take her side?
Because I'm her sister. And yes, we do speak, just not much The friends she has as bridemaids, she doesn't have anything to do with anymore. Then she wants to have a closer relationship with me. Not happening
Be the better person and go for the closer relationship. My sister and I have not had a relationship for 25 years. I tried a few times to reconnect. It failed.
I encourage my three sons to always be friends. Family is everything.
Then she wants to have a closer relationship with me. Not happening
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