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just how long ago did this happen? seems like it's been a while and you're still not over it? related to the age thing, some people think asking an older sister to be in the wedding party is a no-no. it's a cultural thing. in my circle of friends it was either friends or a younger sister, never an older sister.
I didn't ask any of my sisters to be in my wedding party. i'm pretty sure they didn't care. if it really bothers u that much that you're still thinking about it, you can just ask her if there was a reason she didn't invite u. although that may put her in an awkward position.
When I got married I asked my fiance's sisters to be in my wedding party (bridesmaids) as well as all of their children (ring bearer, flower girl, bubble girls) to be a part of the event. I thought it was customary...I paid for all of the dresses and accessories too so I would avoid animosity at a later date.
I didn't care for them and they didn't care for me...I am now divorced and we all get along great!
Go to the wedding, have fun and then go find your own partner in life and elope!
I am a male, so perhaps I shouldn't even be posting here, but I just want to comment that there are resentments and ill feelings in so many families. These resentments and ill feelings play out in so many different ways, and they often come to the fore at symbolically important times such as weddings and funerals.
When my sister got married she didn't tell our parents or me (and of course didn't invite us either). No, she did not elope, but had a church wedding with invited guests and a photographer. I resented it, but I can only imagine how my parents felt. Some sort of message was being sent, but I still don't know exactly what it was 45 years later.
Ouch! That really has to sting. It is one heck of a message. Wow. How does one have a church wedding and not invite their parents?
Quote:
Originally Posted by gouligann
If you weren't close as you were growing up, and still don't get along then no, I don't think she should have felt the need to ask you. Although this has saved you a TON of money like many of the other posters have said, I understand you being hurt.
I find it interesting that so many say be happy you're saving $$$$. There's a lot more to life than $$$$. Clearly, for the OP this isn't about money.
Sister didn't make me a groomsman. I was kinda pissed.
The groomsmen were all the groom's friends/relatives. One of the bridesmaids was his sister.
By tradition, the groomsmen are close relatives and friends of the groom, not the bride.
As top one of the bridesmaids being his sister, could be because she was a close friend to the bride. That is who the bridesmaids are supposed to be. A close relative that is very close to the bride and her close friends. If t he sister was a close friend, then that is why she was a bridesmaid, not the fact she was his sister.
My sisters are very close in age and they had two weddings, one reception, the same day. They stood up for each other. I never thought a thing about it.
At sister's second wedding, she asked me to be her Matron of Honor. I accepted. She didn't ask my other sister -- no one ever thought about it.
When I got married, I didn't ask either of my sisters to stand up with me. I had also been married for 12 years, showing my wedding album to a friend when she blurted out in shock -- your sister is wearing WHITE! Apparently I was supposed to be appalled. I wasn't.
We're all close, but things like this aren't the big picture for us.
oh No I like enjoy other stuff at the wedding. there are much to enjoy than being a brides maid and hold her wale and walk behind. When there is a wedding we can enjoy men in black. Since age of 12 in our family I was the photographer. So I had no chance to be one.
Brides ask friends to be in their wedding party. People that are actively supportive of them, who share life with them. Sometimes those people are relatives. Sometimes those people are childhood friends. Sometimes those people are college or work friends.
You two never got along and weren't even speaking. It should not be a surprise that you were not asked.
I an sorry you were hurt, but it seems you put more stock in being her bridesmaid than you did in being her friend.
I find it interesting that so many say be happy you're saving $$$$. There's a lot more to life than $$$$. Clearly, for the OP this isn't about money.
No. They are asking her to look on the bright side which given that this is in the past and can't be changed is her only option unless she chooses to deal with their relationship issues which seems unlikely given her responses.
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there are much to enjoy than being a brides maid and hold her wale and walk behind. 
When there is a wedding we can enjoy men in black. Since age of 12 in our family I was the photographer. So I had no chance to be one. 
