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Old 11-03-2014, 09:56 AM
 
7,496 posts, read 9,714,122 times
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I would thank my lucky stars.
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Old 11-03-2014, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,993 posts, read 21,635,335 times
Reputation: 22099
It 100% depends on your relationship. My sister and I are not close at all. She had a maid of honor, her best friend. I wasn't in the wedding, it was fine with me. The day is about her, not about me. Period.
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Old 11-03-2014, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
14,559 posts, read 8,386,623 times
Reputation: 29100
Quote:
Originally Posted by luckygirl15 View Post
Nope because it would mean that you didn't have to buy an ugly dress that you're never going to wear again. Being a bridesmaid is expensive. You pay for everything. Nope, invite me but don't ask me to be in your wedding.

Enjoy the wedding as a guest! And be happy that you don't have to pay for parties and dresses that you don't really want in the first place.
I love this! So true, and I'm a woman with four sisters Why the H are those dresses so awful? Is that a rule or something?
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Old 11-03-2014, 11:45 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,004,073 times
Reputation: 22370
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
Because I'm her sister. And yes, we do speak, just not much The friends she has as bridemaids, she doesn't have anything to do with anymore. Then she wants to have a closer relationship with me. Not happening
So you are saying that you won't accept your sister trying to be closer to you b/c you are still angry about not being in her wedding???? And you think you are punishing her somehow by keeping your distance?

If that is the reason you aren't still close, then you have decided you don't want to be close . . . and this is just the excuse you are using to justify your distance.

So in the end, you can either get over not being in her wedding party and work on a better relationship or you can cling to this "reason" for being distant.

Either way, if your sister is reaching out to you, then the ball is in your court.

I would find a better reason other than not being in a wedding if I didn't want to be close to my sister. But that's me.

It sounds like you are just pouting if you use this as the reason you won't work on a relationship with your sister. Now, if the real reason is -- you don't trust her; you don't like the way she treats you; she hurts your feelings consistently -- then those are real reasons.

But saying you are going to hold a grudge b/c you weren't in a wedding . . . that makes you look bad.

Last edited by brokensky; 11-03-2014 at 11:55 AM..
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Old 11-03-2014, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Camberville
11,979 posts, read 16,700,390 times
Reputation: 19580
Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts View Post
I find it interesting that so many say be happy you're saving $$$$. There's a lot more to life than $$$$. Clearly, for the OP this isn't about money.
Those who say there is more to life than money have clearly never been seriously ill and had their health compromised due to a lack of it. I don't take any joy wasting money on a wedding that is not my own when they jeopardizes my ability to care for myself.

It's not about the OP's relationship with her sister either, based on other posts.
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Old 11-03-2014, 01:05 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,279 posts, read 3,907,746 times
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Frankly, I'd be delighted.

Neither of my sisters asked me to be in their weddings. I wasn't hurt. I enjoyed the weddings much more as a mere guest. And I got to wear what I wanted.

I think it's appropriate that they asked their best friends to be bridesmaids -- women they were closer to than they are to me.
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Old 11-03-2014, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,184 posts, read 12,573,898 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
At the time, we hardly spoken to each other. I wasn't invited to the bachlorette party either. I forgot to mention there was another sister. She was supposed to be one of the bridemaids. Then came down with a severe mental illness. I remember asking if I could take her place and instead of me, asked another friend to.

It's the one reason we're not very close.
At the time you were "barely speaking" ... yet you expected to be asked to be in the wedding?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
we never got along well growing up.
And you didn't get along in the past either ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
I've tried talking to her about it, she has no idea why I wasn't included. Then said because of age which makes no sense because we are less than 2yrs apart, me being the older one
How can she have "no idea" why you weren't included ... wasn't it her decision? OP, so many things you are writing make no sense.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
Because I'm her sister. And yes, we do speak, just not much The friends she has as bridemaids, she doesn't have anything to do with anymore. Then she wants to have a closer relationship with me. Not happening
Various posts you've written in this thread make it sound like your sister's wedding was quite awhile ago. Just when WAS the wedding? (What I'm really asking is, just how long have you held this grudge?)

I can't figure out why you would think someone you were never close to and were barely speaking to when she was getting married, would ask you to be a bridesmaid. Huh?

You know, accidents of birth -- like being someone's sister -- don't mean that you will love, like, or even tolerate each other. Some families are very close, but many, many, many are not. (Just read C-D threads about families.)
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Old 11-03-2014, 01:49 PM
 
5,681 posts, read 8,087,642 times
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If you're not close why would you expect her to have you in her wedding? It's her day not your day. She should be surrounded by her closest friends.
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Old 11-03-2014, 02:04 PM
 
16,722 posts, read 14,605,104 times
Reputation: 41111
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
At the time, we hardly spoken to each other. I wasn't invited to the bachlorette party either. I forgot to mention there was another sister. She was supposed to be one of the bridemaids. Then came down with a severe mental illness. I remember asking if I could take her place and instead of me, asked another friend to.

I'm sorry but this just made me laugh out loud. How do you come down with a mental illness? Or was it because she had to be a bridesmaid? LOL

OP, you weren't close with your sister. She asked her friends instead. I mean, I wouldn't invite a sister I wasn't close to. It's my wedding and I want people around me who I am close to, like my best friends.
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Old 11-03-2014, 02:09 PM
 
16,722 posts, read 14,605,104 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
Brides ask friends to be in their wedding party. People that are actively supportive of them, who share life with them. Sometimes those people are relatives. Sometimes those people are childhood friends. Sometimes those people are college or work friends.

You two never got along and weren't even speaking. It should not be a surprise that you were not asked.

I an sorry you were hurt, but it seems you put more stock in being her bridesmaid than you did in being her friend.

Bingo!
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