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If you can afford it, then go for it As long as you and your fiance are in agreement then just do it. Of course, don't put yourself or anyone in the poorhouse for the wedding. Your not going to please everyone.
As to making sure your in laws show up, don't (imo). Get your finance to manage that. He should be able to manage peoples feelings and expectations better. He'll tell you who he absolutely wants to be there and how to make it work. (ie put him to work)
So for the folks that can't go for one reason or another, schedule something small and local. Perhaps just a small local celebration dinner. This way folks won't feel forced to go but can still look forward to celebrating with you guys.
May I ask why are you bending over so far backwards for people who don't like you? And why would you have/want such people at your wedding? And yes, doing that will create stress as you are again in the game of trying to change people to like you/like a situation when they obviously don't. And won't like you. I'd quit that.....yesterday. Consider it their loss they are acting like that and move on.
And I don't care if they are family or not. Some family members just don't get along, won't get along, and that's the way life is. Family is a thing that happens by chance, not by choice. Some people get along great with their family. Many have one or 2 they just don't get along with and do what I think is the smart thing and ignore them/don't associate with them. Trying to make someone like you who obviously doesn't is a losing game.
Because they raised, nurtured and love her intended spouse perhaps? Once again, a wedding isn't just for the benefit of the bride. As the mother of three sons, that thinking really irks me.
I don't think the bride should be dumped on because she wants a Disney wedding. And it appears as though the finances have been sorted out.
OP (bride-to-be), be kind to your future in-laws. One day isn't worth years of hard feelings. Find a way to let them know how much you appreciate their thoughts, but you are confident that you are making the right decision.
Because they raised, nurtured and love her intended spouse perhaps? Once again, a wedding isn't just for the benefit of the bride. As the mother of three sons, that thinking really irks me.
We don't know if these people are of such character. People have nasty relations/in-laws. Alcoholics, abusive, manipulative moms.....Fathers. Sisters. Aunts. Uncles. Not everyone who is blood, even a mom or dad, is worthy of respect. Or In-Laws/relatives who are just controlling people. It's not always appropriate to "play nice" with such people. Respect is earned by action, not by a title.
In my view and this is the main point I'm trying to make, regardless of how these people are related....on this individuals special day, if I were a relation/friend invited to this wedding, the appropriate thing for me to do would be to keep my mouth shut if I just want to complain about this and that. My role as a guest/in-law/blood relative is to play nice and respect the choices this person made on her special day and wish them well. For people to give someone a hard time in this matter to me is selfish. And controlling at the least. If this were our wedding, I would not have these people attend our wedding. No way no how.
Even if someone is paying towards this wedding, I think it's selfish of them to dictate things. I come from the school if a son or daughter of mine is getting married and I want to give a gift of money towards the wedding, that's my decision and I would want them to have exactly the kind of wedding they want without my controlling views. A gift is a gift....it's not for me to rule with an iron fist on how that money is going to be spent towards said event.
Wow, people sure like to tell other people how to spend their money, don't they? What's unrealistic for one person may be life as usual for another.
I'm assuming you are an adult, since you are getting married. I'm also assuming that your fiance' has balls enough to tell you if "enough is enough" if you are going overboard in your plans. Fine. Do what you like, what makes you and your fiance' happy and what brings you joy. If someone else doesn't like it -- oh, well.
Destination weddings can be hard on attendees, especially if it's a place they may not be interested in (i.e., Disney).
I think that you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to accept that some people are going to try to bust your bubble just because that's the way they are, and mature enough to politely ignore them. You don't need anyone else's approval. If they come, great. If they don't, well, you'll miss them. Try to not attribute attitudes that may not exist to your soon-to-be-in-laws. They may just be more open about their opinions than others, and are perfectly willing to let you do your thing (as long as they get their 2 cents in).
Your in-laws may be different from you, but your fiance' chose YOU. Enjoy the differences, but don't feel compelled to be sucked into them to "make them like you." Complaining to your fiance' at this point is just going to cause hurt feelings all around. Unless they are being actively nasty and hurtful, let 'em talk. What DOES your fiance' say about his family? Is he willing to man up and tell them to lay off, this is his wedding, and this is what he wants? If he is adamant that this isn't up for a family vote, perhaps they will back off.
Your in-laws may be different from you, but your fiance' chose YOU. Enjoy the differences, but don't feel compelled to be sucked into them to "make them like you."
Good point. I've sometime seen where one side of the marriage picks their parents/sides with them over their spouse most or 100% of the time. Talk about a major red flag.
We don't know if these people are of such character. People have nasty relations/in-laws. Alcoholics, abusive, manipulative moms.....Fathers. Sisters. Aunts. Uncles. Not everyone who is blood, even a mom or dad, is worthy of respect. Or In-Laws/relatives who are just controlling people. It's not always appropriate to "play nice" with such people. Respect is earned by action, not by a title.
In my view and this is the main point I'm trying to make, regardless of how these people are related....on this individuals special day, if I were a relation/friend invited to this wedding, the appropriate thing for me to do would be to keep my mouth shut if I just want to complain about this and that. My role as a guest/in-law/blood relative is to play nice and respect the choices this person made on her special day and wish them well. For people to give someone a hard time in this matter to me is selfish. And controlling at the least. If this were our wedding, I would not have these people attend our wedding. No way no how.
Even if someone is paying towards this wedding, I think it's selfish of them to dictate things. I come from the school if a son or daughter of mine is getting married and I want to give a gift of money towards the wedding, that's my decision and I would want them to have exactly the kind of wedding they want without my controlling views. A gift is a gift....it's not for me to rule with an iron fist on how that money is going to be spent towards said event.
The OP didn't indicate anything like you said in the bolded. They are just approaching things from a different viewpoint. There is no reason to deny them the respect they merit, after all, they raised a son the OP wants to marry. Why must the worst be presumed just because somebody is an "in-law"?
They have no excuse to not get their lazy butts up and come. I'm frustrated feeling like I have bent over backwards for people who don't like me. It's stressful and that's why I asked for advice here.
Hmmmmmm. So now they are lazy.
I'm sorry, but you are going to have a very stressful marriage if you cop this attitude before you are even married.
There's a "Peach Salsa" answering "PeachSalsaLover2" post?
Anyway, place your bets...if any of this nonsense is real.....I'm in for under 2 years, if that.
PeachSalsa is not a new person. She's also not PeachSalsaLover2. I've seen PeachSalsa on a few other threads lately and she is definitely not getting married at Disney! She also commented that someone stole her name.
PeachSalsa is not a new person. She's also not PeachSalsaLover2. I've seen PeachSalsa on a few other threads lately and she is definitely not getting married at Disney! She also commented that someone stole her name.
But what I think we all really want to know.....where in the world is just good 'ole plain Salsa?
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As long as you and your fiance are in agreement then just do it. Of course, don't put yourself or anyone in the poorhouse for the wedding. Your not going to please everyone. 
Talk about a major red flag.
