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Old 11-06-2014, 08:54 AM
 
Location: Wallingford, CT
1,063 posts, read 1,095,857 times
Reputation: 1220

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsaLover2 View Post
Not to be that person (and I didn't want to say this) but our guests don't have problems with money and don't care. My family lives for events like this. Feedback has been positive, plane tickets bought and everything is good. If it wasn't, someone would have to face my mama and she can be one scary lady. Lol.

But some of your guests do. And I hate to break it to you, but the ones that do have a problem with it are about to be part of your family.
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Old 11-06-2014, 09:07 AM
 
1,985 posts, read 1,310,958 times
Reputation: 3400
It's your wedding.... and hopefully your only one..... if you want a destination wedding, go for it. I got married in the Keys, and just about everyone that was invited, came. It's not like Disney is that hard or expensive to get to. Those who care will be there in some form or another, but expect a few who won't make it. Destination weddings are supposed to be smaller and more informal. All these people whining about cost and how you should do it close are just stick in the muds........ if they don't want to or can't go, then oh well. They are going to whine about something if its close too.
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Old 11-06-2014, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
11,582 posts, read 13,646,843 times
Reputation: 7784
Even best Case Scenario, how many guests are you REALLY going to get to Disney? 30? Maybe?
I think it is odd that Mrs Disney wouldn't rather stay home, spend just as much as she would with this Disney thing and have an really amazing over-the-top kind of wedding with 400 people.
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Old 11-06-2014, 09:19 AM
 
Location: NYC
1,723 posts, read 3,379,754 times
Reputation: 2884
I know you said you want a baby right away. The amount of money you spend on your dream wedding would make a nice head-start for your future child's college education. Not only that, but kids are expensive anyway.

I was never 'that girl'. I didn't drool over bridal magazines or start planning my wedding when I was young. I never gave my future wedding any thought at all until I planned to get married. But, I understand some do. I saw that in my DIL's. Frankly, I was appalled at the amount of money some of their wedding dresses alone cost.. for a 6 hour party. Such a waste and for what? A photo album that you won't even remember where you put it in a year or two?

But, that's just me. If you can afford your dream wedding and afford your plans for the future then by all means, go for it if it makes you happy. You're not going to please everyone. Some people won't go because they can't afford to take time off from work, just plain can't afford it, or have more important things to do with their money. If your family is richer than his as you seem to imply, your wedding and reception is going to be a bit lopsided with more of your family than his. Is he ok with that or is he going to resent that once the honeymoon phase is gone?

Personally, If I was the in law, I'd be mortified if one of my DIL's parents offered to pay my way to this wedding and it would sour any relationship I'd expect to have with them.

A wedding, reception, and honeymoon is what? 2-3 weeks out of a lifetime commitment. Keep that in mind please. Good luck.
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Old 11-06-2014, 09:20 AM
 
1,985 posts, read 1,310,958 times
Reputation: 3400
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peregrine View Post
Even best Case Scenario, how many guests are you REALLY going to get to Disney? 30? Maybe?
I think it is odd that Mrs Disney wouldn't rather stay home, spend just as much as she would with this Disney thing and have an really amazing over-the-top kind of wedding with 400 people.
That's what makes it nice.... 30 close friends and family vs. 400 hundred, half of who you barely get to talk to, and half of who you don't care to talk to. To some, that sounds horrible. I don't understand why all these people knock it?

It can really be a nice, fun, memorable weekend if its planned right from the rehearsal dinner right through Sunday brunch. And since its small, everything can be done nicer. Better food, better parties, etc.
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Old 11-06-2014, 09:28 AM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,306,147 times
Reputation: 62061
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbsteel View Post
It's your wedding.... and hopefully your only one..... if you want a destination wedding, go for it. I got married in the Keys, and just about everyone that was invited, came. It's not like Disney is that hard or expensive to get to. Those who care will be there in some form or another, but expect a few who won't make it. Destination weddings are supposed to be smaller and more informal. All these people whining about cost and how you should do it close are just stick in the muds........ if they don't want to or can't go, then oh well. They are going to whine about something if its close too.
For some it IS that hard and expensive to get to. Currently we are spending no money on anything like that and it is questionable if we will be going to the family gathering this year for Thanksgiving.

Mr. CSD broke his arm has had one surgery and we are at this moment looking at a minimum of $30,000.00 out of pocket cost. On top of this he has to have one more surgery for sure and possibly one more after that for a minimum total cost of $60,000.00 - $90,000.00 out of pocket cost.

So not knowing one's personal situation when it comes to finances it is not safe to "assume" that everyone has the ability to spend that kind of money for a wedding and we are certainly not "sticks in the mud".
We are responsible adults who know our current limitations and what is a priority and what is not.
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Old 11-06-2014, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,862 posts, read 6,879,934 times
Reputation: 7349
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
For some it IS that hard and expensive to get to. Currently we are spending no money on anything like that and it is questionable if we will be going to the family gathering this year for Thanksgiving.

Mr. CSD broke his arm has had one surgery and we are at this moment looking at a minimum of $30,000.00 out of pocket cost. On top of this he has to have one more surgery for sure and possibly one more after that for a minimum total cost of $60,000.00 - $90,000.00 out of pocket cost.

So not knowing one's personal situation when it comes to finances it is not safe to "assume" that everyone has the ability to spend that kind of money for a wedding and we are certainly not "sticks in the mud".
We are responsible adults who know our current limitations and what is a priority and what is not.
Hope Mr. CSD is better soon and you have some smooth sailing after that!
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Old 11-06-2014, 10:06 AM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,850,657 times
Reputation: 25438
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsaLover2 View Post
Not to be that person (and I didn't want to say this) but our guests don't have problems with money and don't care. My family lives for events like this. Feedback has been positive, plane tickets bought and everything is good. If it wasn't, someone would have to face my mama and she can be one scary lady. Lol.

Also, I'd like to say I never realized how much judgment people have over weddings. I try not to ever criticize any woman over her special day though I have seen some tacky ones in my lifetime. I also don't think how much money someone spends defines their character. I could say someone who doesn't spend a lot of money on their wedding is a poor person who probably has six inch roots, trashy and doesn't love themselves. Is that true? NO. No way. And I don't think that. I think people should do what they want. But to say I'm selfish and all that just because I want a big wedding is insane. Some of ya'll need Jesus! (Kidding but holy cow)

One last note, in my family we spend a lot of money on events. It's a culture thing. Big birthday parties, weddings, reunions, etc. We like to party and we like to spend money. Nothing wrong with that.
You're obviously going to do what you want to do and that's fine. The only reason you posted here was that you wanted other people to say that your soon-to-be in-laws are big ol' stupid meanies who don't know how to party and spend money like your family.

Have your Disney wedding and enjoy every minute of it, because I predict some rocky times ahead after y'all become one big maybe-not-so-happy family.
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Old 11-06-2014, 10:12 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,103 posts, read 4,283,493 times
Reputation: 10056
Weddings have turned into an absolute monstrosity. I was looking back at family pictures from the turn of the LAST century the other day and came across my great grandfathers wedding in 1911. They were rich, and I mean RICH and got married in their father's mansion. There were about 40 guests by the look of the picture. That was a fancy wedding to them, feeding 40 of your closest friends/family. It was of course a very formal affair with silver and crystal. Now these days we try to feed 200 people, buy expensive cakes, open bar at full retail prices, 1000 dollar photographers, DJ's, venues, the whole works. Personally Im going to tell my future daughters theyre getting married in our backyard and the 40k (in future inflated dollars) they get towards a downpayment on a home.
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Old 11-06-2014, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
388 posts, read 813,370 times
Reputation: 611
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freebird View Post
I'm not proud of this but when we were 22 it really didn't sink in to either of us that almost all of our aunts and uncles showed up to our wedding and that mine had made the effort to drive six or seven hours to be there - and my grandmother flew down alone to Florida from Wisconsin! T and I were focused on each other and I'm sure we didn't interact with any of them much at all. I see the other side of things now and wish I'd realized and acted differently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42 View Post
My stepdaughter greeted none of her guests, didn't even say hello to guests who flew across 2 time zones to be there. I was mortified. . .why are brides like this? Her entire wedding was riddled with things that made her look selfish; (just 1 example: sitter that my husband paid for so fiance's dog could attend!).

I am glad you relected on your wedding and feel differently now. Do you think my stepdaughter will do so someday? What about the OP?
Hope so, no way to know how people will change for the better or for the worse. Changes can take years and years. This was in 1985 and there has been a decent amount of reflection since then about other things in life I would've done differently as well. . .

Yeah unpleasant/uncomfortable situation for you with your stepdaughter at her wedding - our parents would've wigged if we had done that. We definitely made a point to greet everyone at the wedding reception and thank them for coming - it wasn't an assigned table situation so there was a really long old-fashioned type of receiving line, then once the line was finished we walked around and talked and hung out with different groups. Guests who hadn't gotten into the line would come up to us - I remember trying to look for guests with whom we hadn't spoken yet.

My aunts and uncles and grandmother were all at the rehearsal dinner and then at my parents' house afterward on the night before the wedding. They were "there" in the same rooms, pictures taken, now I remember breakfast with some of them and my parents on the morning of the wedding. T and I talked to them at the wedding reception too but my regret is because I didn't feel like I really acknowledged their efforts to be there that weekend, didn't do enough to make them feel welcome or whatever, even though we were in the same spaces at the same time.

I know for sure they were enjoying hanging out with their sister and brother and son (my parents), perhaps the wedding was an excuse for all of them to get together !

Last edited by Freebird; 11-06-2014 at 11:10 AM..
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