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Old 11-06-2014, 11:03 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,071 posts, read 8,369,546 times
Reputation: 11558

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I don't see anything wrong with having a destination wedding. Those who can swing it will come and obviously you shouldn't be upset with people who can't make it work. Most people have family and friends scattered, so when is there ever a wedding that it isn't a destination for at least some of the guests?

I think what some people are trying to get across to you here is that the wedding really doesn't matter for anything in the long run. No matter how wonderful it is or if it's the wedding you always dreamed of, it's only one day in what will hopefully be the rest of your lives together. A marriage is about so very much more than the flavor of the cake or the make of the dress. It isn't a fairy tale. A marriage is making the other person toast when they're sick, it's about listening to them when they've had a bad day, it's about having another person who has your back no matter what and vice versa. It's about fighting through the tough times and never giving up on each other. I say this as a divorced person (who thankfully didn't spend a ton of money on the wedding).

I got married when I was 24. I thought I knew what was important, but the relationship ended very badly and our marriage barely lasted a year and it was not a happy year. Choose your spouse wisely and choose someone you're sure will be to you what I described above. I'm almost 31 now and single. If I were to meet the man I thought would be those things for me I would happily marry him at the court house on a Wednesday morning - no fuss, no frills. I would happily accept a plain band for my finger - no need for flashy jewelry. I think this is the lesson some posters are trying to impart to you. Less focus on the wedding and more focus on the marriage.
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Old 11-06-2014, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Amongst the AZ Cactus
7,074 posts, read 4,923,819 times
Reputation: 7701
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsaLover2 View Post
I have been nice, friendly and have tried to involve them as much as I can. They shut me out because they don't like me. Like my mom told me, you can only knock so many times. They have to let me in. I'm tired of trying too hard.
You're mom sounds like a wise woman.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsaLover2 View Post
Bleh, he's a man, lol. My fiance doesn't care. I show him colors all the time and ask his opinions and he always just tells me to do what I want.
Ha! As a guy, I'm with him all the way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsaLover2 View Post
I see a lot of the "Disney is immature" comments? Honestly, I think it's like those bumper stickers that I see on jeeps: "It's a jeep thing- you just wouldn't understand". DisneyWorld has a somewhat cult-like following As a fan and someone who has been a member of the disboards for several years, I can say that it has a magical effect on some people. It means something to me, but I'm not surprised there are people out there who think it is childish and immature. It doesn't to me. I see it as a lovely place filled with great memories and it's my favorite place on the entire planet. It's fun to me, doesn't have to be for you.
Good for you. It's your life/dream/thing you want to do, go for it. Life's short. Don't let the negative Nellies rain on your parade. My guess is that some of those who rain on your parade are just a bit jealous.

If we all let those who don't agree with what each one of us wants to do in life and did what others want us to do instead....wait, I know many people who do just that....and man are they unhappy.

Enjoy your wedding as you envision it and live your life beyond that with no regrets. I wish you the best.
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Old 11-06-2014, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
388 posts, read 811,276 times
Reputation: 611
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I don't see anything wrong with having a destination wedding. Those who can swing it will come and obviously you shouldn't be upset with people who can't make it work. Most people have family and friends scattered, so when is there ever a wedding that it isn't a destination for at least some of the guests?

I think what some people are trying to get across to you here is that the wedding really doesn't matter for anything in the long run. No matter how wonderful it is or if it's the wedding you always dreamed of, it's only one day in what will hopefully be the rest of your lives together. A marriage is about so very much more than the flavor of the cake or the make of the dress. It isn't a fairy tale. A marriage is making the other person toast when they're sick, it's about listening to them when they've had a bad day, it's about having another person who has your back no matter what and vice versa. It's about fighting through the tough times and never giving up on each other. I say this as a divorced person (who thankfully didn't spend a ton of money on the wedding).

I got married when I was 24. I thought I knew what was important, but the relationship ended very badly and our marriage barely lasted a year and it was not a happy year. Choose your spouse wisely and choose someone you're sure will be to you what I described above. I'm almost 31 now and single. If I were to meet the man I thought would be those things for me I would happily marry him at the court house on a Wednesday morning - no fuss, no frills. I would happily accept a plain band for my finger - no need for flashy jewelry. I think this is the lesson some posters are trying to impart to you. Less focus on the wedding and more focus on the marriage.
This post is awesome, especially the last line.
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Old 11-06-2014, 11:37 AM
 
Location: CO
2,455 posts, read 2,625,860 times
Reputation: 5196
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsaLover2 View Post
Not to be that person (and I didn't want to say this) but our guests don't have problems with money and don't care. My family lives for events like this. Feedback has been positive, plane tickets bought and everything is good. If it wasn't, someone would have to face my mama and she can be one scary lady. Lol.

Also, I'd like to say I never realized how much judgment people have over weddings. I try not to ever criticize any woman over her special day though I have seen some tacky ones in my lifetime. I also don't think how much money someone spends defines their character. I could say someone who doesn't spend a lot of money on their wedding is a poor person who probably has six inch roots, trashy and doesn't love themselves. Is that true? NO. No way. And I don't think that. I think people should do what they want. But to say I'm selfish and all that just because I want a big wedding is insane. Some of ya'll need Jesus! (Kidding but holy cow)

One last note, in my family we spend a lot of money on events. It's a culture thing. Big birthday parties, weddings, reunions, etc. We like to party and we like to spend money. Nothing wrong with that.
OP, finally, and this is more telling than anything that has been said in pages and pages of replies. It is a culture thing. Your family's lifestyle is on a different spectrum from the groom's.

Go ahead with all your plans, let the naysayers nay-say, and have the wedding of your dreams. I think you are as you say, a lovable charming girl that everyone likes because they know you. I have no doubt that once the in-laws get to know you in the aftermath of the wedding, they will come to love you too. And your wedding will go down in family lore along with lots of other wonderful memories.

F. Scott Fitzgerald: "The rich are different from you and me."
Ernest Hemingway: "Yes, they have more money."
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Old 11-06-2014, 11:38 AM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,455,156 times
Reputation: 64033
I just did an image search of Disney Weddings, quite the spectacle of tackiness, but to each his own.

Last edited by ElizaTeal; 11-06-2014 at 12:23 PM.. Reason: typo
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Old 11-06-2014, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,713 posts, read 4,092,287 times
Reputation: 6255
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizaTeal View Post
If just did an image search of Disney Weddings, quite the spectacle of tackiness, but to each his own.
Which is EXACTLY the point...everyone wants to criticize the bride and throw her under the bus without ACTUALLY knowing her. Some people don't get off on Disney so they say it's immature...some people don't like over the top events, so they say it's too extravagant and that person isn't focusing on what's important. BUT...to each his own!

What's important is for each of us to decide. Yes, some things seem very important but we all get to decide for ourselves. I think the OP hasn't responded to some of the posts about what she envisions her marriage to be like because she's run into so much negativity from posters here that I'm sure she's wondering WHY she would share...it's NONE of our business.

I liked her last post, which some of you have delicately chosen to bash, because she is trying to live the life that she wants to live. What on earth is wrong with that? We all TRY to do that...we all have our own ideas about what's important, what's fun, what's necessary, what isn't. I am not surprised by all the negative judgment here, but it's kind of ridiculous.

State your opinion...GREAT...let's hear it. But have you all forgotten that you can state your opinion without bashing the OP? Is it really that difficult?
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Old 11-06-2014, 01:01 PM
 
86 posts, read 77,787 times
Reputation: 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Ok, so the fiancé's family thinks the extravagant Disney idea is terrible and so does most of this forum, yet the OP is still set on it?

Alrighty then.
Why do you care so much about where she gets married? She's set on it because that's what SHE WANTS!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Caldwell View Post
The more you spend on the wedding, the more likely you are to get a divorce. It's not the money, it's the lack of maturity. You need to postpone this wedding for a few years while you grow up.
You state that as if it is a fact. Something to back it up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peregrine View Post
Even best Case Scenario, how many guests are you REALLY going to get to Disney? 30? Maybe?
I think it is odd that Mrs Disney wouldn't rather stay home, spend just as much as she would with this Disney thing and have an really amazing over-the-top kind of wedding with 400 people.
She thinks it is odd that you would do 400 people at home instead of doing the Disney wedding she wants. Maybe she only wants 30 people there.

Wow, this thread made me laugh and sad at the same time. OP, do what you and your groom want and what makes you happen. Don't listen to others, especially people on this thread putting you down for doing what you want. "To each their own."
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Old 11-06-2014, 01:05 PM
 
6,971 posts, read 3,867,910 times
Reputation: 14857
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizaTeal View Post
I'd like the see the OP's bridal registry.

Mickey Mouse dish towels!
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Old 11-06-2014, 01:17 PM
 
6,971 posts, read 3,867,910 times
Reputation: 14857
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsaLover2 View Post



Bleh, he's a man, lol. My fiance doesn't care. I show him colors all the time and ask his opinions and he always just tells me to do what I want. He loves me more than anything and I feel that. The night of the day he proposed he told me he wanted us to have the wedding I had always wanted. There was never any of me forcing him to do anything. He knew it was important to me and he wanted to help make it happen. The honeymoon was what he was more interested in anyway. And what type of fridge we purchased. And so forth. We both make compromises. Normally we both end up getting what we want.
Wow, you really sound like you have a deep abiding respect for him.

Quite a catch that guy is. You're running roughshod over his family's concerns and values and he doesn't care just as long as you can carry on your fantasy that you are a Disney princess.
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Old 11-06-2014, 01:23 PM
 
13,169 posts, read 20,791,547 times
Reputation: 35459
I am not critical of the bride's desire to have a Disney wedding. Not my cup of tea, but plenty of people do get married there.
I'm sure it will be nicely done, with hopefully a dearth of Mickey ears.

But the bride is making a mistake by not continuing to make an effort with the groom's family. And, by making an effort, I don't mean paying their way and expecting them to feel grateful. I'm sure they love their son as much as the bride's parents love her, and they want to feel part of the celebration. If that means they aren't comfortable with the excess, well, tone it down a bit. Who is paying for the rehearsal dinner? If it's the groom's family, as is the norm, then you've limited their venues to choose from. Is it likely the bride's family will be staying at a Disney property, while the groom's family is stuck offsite in a budget hotel due to costs?

Combining families should start out with equal consideration for both sides. It is not a case of whoever has the most marbles makes all the rules.
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