U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 11-07-2014, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,072 posts, read 8,340,104 times
Reputation: 19427

Advertisements

At the end of the day, keep in mind that all the money you spend does make you any more married than a person who went to the JP. Beyond a license and witnesses, everything else is optional. Please don't lose sight of the fact that a marriage is the joining of two families, not just two people, and that union remains long after you've worn out your dancing shoes at your reception.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-07-2014, 01:55 PM
 
Location: NYC
1,723 posts, read 3,371,779 times
Reputation: 2884
Just some random persons Disney themed wedding. At about 1.30 ish you see the interesting stuff and the horse drawn carriage. It makes for an unforgettable entrance...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqTTBjX9I5I
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-07-2014, 02:02 PM
 
Location: MA
1,623 posts, read 1,338,009 times
Reputation: 3017
If you have enough money then it is your business.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-07-2014, 02:11 PM
 
5,392 posts, read 6,530,997 times
Reputation: 10465
If the OP is posting to get suggestions, let me suggest that the bride and groom to be sit down and talk about how much her dream wedding is going to cost and that the bride tell the groom to be that his family is uncomfortable with the dream wedding plans so far. So that he knows what is going on all the way around and can act accordingly.

The lead up to a wedding can be a time for red flags to appear. If my soon to be husband said something like 'whatever it costs if it makes you happy just don't bother me with it'; I would wonder if his reaction would be the same with little league or recitals or anything else that was important to me in the future. If my bride to be was going really into the financial rabbit hole planning her dream wedding and the dollars and impact upon the less wealthy family were not considered; I would wonder what would be important to her in the marriage.

Just saying, give the guy a chance to know and go with what seems right to you both.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-07-2014, 02:41 PM
 
2,054 posts, read 1,096,833 times
Reputation: 3945
OP, If you really want your Disney themed wedding, then go for it,

But, don't neglect to get counseling before the actual wedding day. It appears that your family and the grooms family have different attitudes towards money. Your family likes big showy affairs while his family may like it low key (even though the families maybe on the same financial level). And contrary to popular opinion, money is a big source of conflict in a marriage. You are supposed to be separating from your parents and forming your own unit. This means that you both have to compromise in financial matters. It may mean that every event that you have will not be accompanied by a huge party. He in turn might have to learn how to have a big party every once in a while. Please talk to each other(and maybe a counselor) about your attitudes and feelings about money.

I think that you also need to slow down. You have planned or are planning several big life changes (moving, buying a house, getting married, having a child). Anyone of these would be a big stressor but you are trying to do all of these at the same time. Perhaps you are so stressed that you are not aware of why some people may not be fully on board with your wedding plans. When you asked your soon to be sister-in-law to be in the wedding, did you inform her that you wanted it at Disney? Do you expect people just to fall in line with your wishes because you are the bride? You'll be a bride for one day, but a member of this family forever (hopefully). Do what you can to minimize conflict (and not by offering to pay to put them up at Disney like some poor relation.)

Why you are not working, at least part time? Yes, you are trying to plan a wedding but the people at Disney do a good job at putting on events- it's not as if you have to run around getting estimates on places and banquet halls and such like other brides do. Yes you are trying to fix a house but you can do that in the evenings or weekends. Your soon to be in laws might be thinking like this and coming to the conclusion that all you want is somebody to fund your dreams and continue the lavish lifestyle that your parents gave you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-07-2014, 03:09 PM
 
2,540 posts, read 3,473,068 times
Reputation: 5569
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. Tarabotti View Post
When you asked your soon to be sister-in-law to be in the wedding, did you inform her that you wanted it at Disney? Do you expect people just to fall in line with your wishes because you are the bride? You'll be a bride for one day, but a member of this family forever (hopefully). Do what you can to minimize conflict (and not by offering to pay to put them up at Disney like some poor relation.)

Why you are not working, at least part time? Yes, you are trying to plan a wedding but the people at Disney do a good job at putting on events- it's not as if you have to run around getting estimates on places and banquet halls and such like other brides do. Yes you are trying to fix a house but you can do that in the evenings or weekends. Your soon to be in laws might be thinking like this and coming to the conclusion that all you want is somebody to fund your dreams and continue the lavish lifestyle that your parents gave you.
But again, why should any of this be anyone's business but the OP's and her fiancee's??
Why should she be asking the SIL's opinion about where to have her wedding?? The SIL already had her wedding and presumably planned it without getting the OP's input. The choice of a wedding venue and other decisions should be up to the couple. The guests have the option of coming or not.

Why should the relatives care whether she works or what kind of lifestyle she's looking for? Even if she was just looking for someone to 'fund her dreams', and her hubby was fine and happy doing that - why should the family care? Again, none of their business.
What is this trend of a grown man's family banding around to try and protect their baby from potential evil golddiggers? This is not the first time I'm seeing this happen.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-07-2014, 03:49 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,450,274 times
Reputation: 64033
Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
But again, why should any of this be anyone's business but the OP's and her fiancee's??
Why should she be asking the SIL's opinion about where to have her wedding?? The SIL already had her wedding and presumably planned it without getting the OP's input. The choice of a wedding venue and other decisions should be up to the couple. The guests have the option of coming or not.

Why should the relatives care whether she works or what kind of lifestyle she's looking for? Even if she was just looking for someone to 'fund her dreams', and her hubby was fine and happy doing that - why should the family care? Again, none of their business.
What is this trend of a grown man's family banding around to try and protect their baby from potential evil golddiggers? This is not the first time I'm seeing this happen.
Families that care about one another, look out for one another. The in-laws are all involved because they are invited to the destination wedding. Attending a Disney wedding might not be their bucket list, but they are going to attend because their son/brother is getting married. If they feel the OP might be taking advantage of their son/brother by not looking for work, or other red flags to which we are not privy, they have every right to be concerned. We are only getting one side of the story.

If you saw an out of control car coming toward a pedestrian, would at least have the common courtesy to help that person avoid danger by saying, "get out of the way" or would you say, "oh he's an adult, let him figure it out for himself?"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-07-2014, 03:51 PM
 
13,161 posts, read 20,780,088 times
Reputation: 35417
Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
But again, why should any of this be anyone's business but the OP's and her fiancee's??
Why should she be asking the SIL's opinion about where to have her wedding?? The SIL already had her wedding and presumably planned it without getting the OP's input. The choice of a wedding venue and other decisions should be up to the couple. The guests have the option of coming or not.

Why should the relatives care whether she works or what kind of lifestyle she's looking for? Even if she was just looking for someone to 'fund her dreams', and her hubby was fine and happy doing that - why should the family care? Again, none of their business.
What is this trend of a grown man's family banding around to try and protect their baby from potential evil golddiggers? This is not the first time I'm seeing this happen.
I'm not convinced the OP's fiance is aware of how she feels about his family. I, and several others, have said she can have the wedding wherever she wants, as long as the money to pay for it is there, and regardless of people's opinion of Disney.

But, the fact that she is here, looking for validation, instead of asking her fiance how to smooth things out with his family sends up a red flag. I don't think she's really convinced her fiance will have her back on this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-07-2014, 05:29 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,094 posts, read 45,604,555 times
Reputation: 61704
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
Why on earth would you go? I am sure she would have rather had a nice card offering well wishes for the new couple, than a resentful guest.
Because I love my sister and her daughter, and we do not have very many relatives. I was not openly resentful.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-07-2014, 05:49 PM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,914 posts, read 4,061,135 times
Reputation: 15540
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I'm just shocked to learn that people actually have Disney-themed weddings.
Include me in on that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauriedeee View Post
I think the reason I don't understand Disney theme weddings is because I never dreamed of being a princess or living a fairy tale even if it's only for a few hours.

The two women I admired most growing up were Dr. Joyce Brothers because she was in a male dominated field and Mother Theresa. But creating a wedding theme around them would probably have made one really boring wedding.

But, to each his own, or her own. I just hope once the realities of marriage set in that they're able to make it together.
Me either.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top