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Old 11-07-2014, 05:51 PM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,914 posts, read 4,070,414 times
Reputation: 15540

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
peach, you sound like you mean well.......

on my wedding,,,,it was a big wedding,,, fiance' was picking all this glorious stuff out of catalogs and magazines, I pretended to care,,,but it was a struggle,,,
it was more important to me of who was coming or not coming , and seating arrangements..

be careful.... with such high emotions and expectations for months and months,,,, you set yourself up to fail if you plan a fairy tale

and don't be ragging on your soon to be hubby, you'll have plenty of time to neuter him after the wedding

and do your soon to be husband a favor, skip the wedding cake - studies have shown it kills a brides sex drive and makes her gain 20lbs


this is YOUR day,,, keep it simple, keep it flowing,,, (don't have guests waiting for 2 hours for photos - unless they have an open bar)

and you keep your emotions in check,,,,, if you are out for everything got to be perfect- then you are setting yourself up to be disappointed- if you lose it because something goes wrong,,,,then shame on you,,
this day can go smooth,,,just plan ahead,,, keep it simple,,,and don't make your crisis everyone elses- people want to wish you well,,, not see you cry and scream at hubby

good luck ,,,make it a glorious day - and don't ask hubby his opinion of wedding day plans if you aren't going to listen anyways

that wedding day will fly right by,,,let hubby have a drink or two before the ceremony to calm his nerves and tolerate you

good luck
This is an excellent post. All good, valid points. Except about the cake...do NOT deny a woman her chocolate, cake or otherwise!
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Old 11-07-2014, 05:57 PM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,914 posts, read 4,070,414 times
Reputation: 15540
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. Tarabotti View Post
OP, If you really want your Disney themed wedding, then go for it,

But, don't neglect to get counseling before the actual wedding day. It appears that your family and the grooms family have different attitudes towards money. Your family likes big showy affairs while his family may like it low key (even though the families maybe on the same financial level). And contrary to popular opinion, money is a big source of conflict in a marriage. You are supposed to be separating from your parents and forming your own unit. This means that you both have to compromise in financial matters. It may mean that every event that you have will not be accompanied by a huge party. He in turn might have to learn how to have a big party every once in a while. Please talk to each other(and maybe a counselor) about your attitudes and feelings about money.

I think that you also need to slow down. You have planned or are planning several big life changes (moving, buying a house, getting married, having a child). Anyone of these would be a big stressor but you are trying to do all of these at the same time. Perhaps you are so stressed that you are not aware of why some people may not be fully on board with your wedding plans. When you asked your soon to be sister-in-law to be in the wedding, did you inform her that you wanted it at Disney? Do you expect people just to fall in line with your wishes because you are the bride? You'll be a bride for one day, but a member of this family forever (hopefully). Do what you can to minimize conflict (and not by offering to pay to put them up at Disney like some poor relation.)

Why you are not working, at least part time? Yes, you are trying to plan a wedding but the people at Disney do a good job at putting on events- it's not as if you have to run around getting estimates on places and banquet halls and such like other brides do. Yes you are trying to fix a house but you can do that in the evenings or weekends. Your soon to be in laws might be thinking like this and coming to the conclusion that all you want is somebody to fund your dreams and continue the lavish lifestyle that your parents gave you.
Great post.

OP, I'm guessing you are not religious, since you want the Disney wedding, and religious people generally marry in a church. However, many religions require pre-Cana counseling and meetings to discuss many things, including finances, attitudes towards family, family of origin experience that you each bring to the relationship, attitudes towards body image, sex, and intimacy, and much, much more. These inventories are very thorough and ensure you and your fiance discuss many of these important, life changing topics BEFORE marriage. I highly recommend doing this.
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Old 11-07-2014, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Amongst the AZ Cactus
7,074 posts, read 4,927,858 times
Reputation: 7701
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
edited to add: After a little more thought, I realized that what makes a Disney theme wedding such a farce is that it really trivializes what should be the most sacred and serious commitment of your life. It is intended to be a coming together of two souls and the joining of two families. The idea of obnoxious cartoon characters and carriages that look like pumpkins makes me think that this is just a big costume party for the bride. And as far as joining two families and having them, and your good friends, witness the joining of your hands is complicated by the fact that you are requiring them to be guilted into attending something that makes light of the something they hold very dear.
Funny that....I thought it was a celebration to share with family and friends for a few hours, in a way that fits the personality of those who are getting married. And to not take life so seriously for just a short time. Smile and laugh a bit for a few hours, not treat the whole thing like it's some kind of stuffy/solemn funeral-like affair where everyone is serious. It's called a "wedding celebration" for a reason.

But that's me. And my wife.

Laugh/smile a little and lighten up. It's good for one's health. And is part of what makes a marriage a good thing.
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Old 11-07-2014, 09:43 PM
 
225 posts, read 312,044 times
Reputation: 505
You husband to be's family knows the score. They know a Jenny Erickson clone when they see one.
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Old 11-08-2014, 07:29 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,788 posts, read 4,843,885 times
Reputation: 19489
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevek64 View Post
Funny that....I thought it was a celebration to share with family and friends for a few hours, in a way that fits the personality of those who are getting married. And to not take life so seriously for just a short time. Smile and laugh a bit for a few hours, not treat the whole thing like it's some kind of stuffy/solemn funeral-like affair where everyone is serious. It's called a "wedding celebration" for a reason.

But that's me. And my wife.

Laugh/smile a little and lighten up. It's good for one's health. And is part of what makes a marriage a good thing.
No one said it had to be a gloomy funeral. Trust me, I am a very light hearted person, no one I know laughs or smiles as much as me. I am truly happy with my life! I just think that a wedding is (or should be) celebrating the most important thing in your life, your commitment to one another for the rest of your lives. Life brings MANY challenges and, knowing that, promising to be there for one another for eternity is a big deal. I take that seriously. The reception is all about the fun and celebration. If they want to dress like pirates and have sword fights at the reception, I couldn't care less, but having Goofy and Pluto hanging around the ceremony or pretending to be Cinderella and Prince Charming just makes me want to gag.
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Old 11-08-2014, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Florida
3,242 posts, read 4,580,470 times
Reputation: 9696
It's your wedding, do what you want/can afford but don't be surprised if a lot of people can't go.

Personally for my wife and I, we can't afford to travel like that as a guest for weddings. The bride/groom will either get mad at us and hold a grudge or accept it and carry on.
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Old 11-08-2014, 09:29 AM
 
Location: it depends
6,074 posts, read 5,336,869 times
Reputation: 5771
Hey Peach, I just thought of something. Did you know that you can rent out the Magic Kingdom after hours just for you and your guests? Check into it. What better way to top off your magical day? It isn't cheap, but wow!

Again, We Disney shareholders fully support your plans. Go for it.
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Old 11-08-2014, 09:35 AM
 
Location: NYC
1,723 posts, read 3,376,604 times
Reputation: 2884
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcopolo View Post
Hey Peach, I just thought of something. Did you know that you can rent out the Magic Kingdom after hours just for you and your guests? Check into it. What better way to top off your magical day? It isn't cheap, but wow!

Again, We Disney shareholders fully support your plans. Go for it.
As one who just happened to pick up a few shares.... I found out you get a better deal if you rent Magic Kingdom for the week! Think of the money you'd save OP, and the memories you and your guests will have will last a lifetime!

Please, we need the income. Hubby's gonna retire soon. thanks a bunch, Laurie
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Old 11-08-2014, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,860 posts, read 6,875,725 times
Reputation: 7348
I think OP got in her pumpkin and rode away at midnight. . . .
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Old 11-08-2014, 09:45 AM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,914 posts, read 4,070,414 times
Reputation: 15540
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcopolo View Post
Hey Peach, I just thought of something. Did you know that you can rent out the Magic Kingdom after hours just for you and your guests? Check into it. What better way to top off your magical day? It isn't cheap, but wow!

Again, We Disney shareholders fully support your plans. Go for it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauriedeee View Post
As one who just happened to pick up a few shares.... I found out you get a better deal if you rent Magic Kingdom for the week! Think of the money you'd save OP, and the memories you and your guests will have will last a lifetime!

Please, we need the income. Hubby's gonna retire soon. thanks a bunch, Laurie
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