U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 11-09-2014, 11:22 AM
 
225 posts, read 312,259 times
Reputation: 505

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42 View Post
Your groom or hers?
I am married to one of the finest men who has ever drawn breath. This marriage ends only the good Lord decides.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-09-2014, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Midwest
88 posts, read 67,776 times
Reputation: 106
My philosophy is that as long as you can AFFORD an expensive wedding, then have one. However, if you are going to go into debt, or use up all your savings or otherwise put yourself into a bind, financially then you should not consider spending more than what is comfortable for you to spend.

People who dream of the "perfect" wedding are often very disappointed because there is no such thing as a perfect wedding. These people are often also disappointed in marriage because they have unrealistic expectations.

You sound like you could use a little more maturity under your belt before embarking on something as important as choosing a life partner. But I get the feeling from your post that nobody is going to tell you anything.

Please read this post again, four years from now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2014, 12:23 PM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,915 posts, read 4,074,508 times
Reputation: 15540
Quote:
Originally Posted by YonqueD View Post

People who dream of the "perfect" wedding are often very disappointed because there is no such thing as a perfect wedding. These people are often also disappointed in marriage because they have unrealistic expectations.
Quoted for truth.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2014, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,068 posts, read 17,395,218 times
Reputation: 41580
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsaLover2 View Post
(snip)

I have had a job. I had to quit because we moved states. Unfortunately I couldn't just stuff my job in my luggage and take it with me. Once we got here I was going to return to work, but with a new house and rennovations, I had things here to do. Getting a home together requires time, as does taking care of my fiance.

He's older than me (31) and wants children as soon as possible. I do too! Nothing wrong with that. My purpose in life is to be a mom and hopefully I'll be a good one (like my fantastic mother!) The decision to stay home was made by both of us.
I just had a flashback that it is still 1955. It is just so odd that the OP, who is only 24, thinks that "getting a home together" and "taking care of" her fiancé (whatever that means) is a full time job.

She says that "her purpose in life is to be a mom". I wonder what will happen if there are fertility problems, or if her fiancé/husband loses his job, or if one of them develops serious health problems or anything else "less than absolute perfection" happens in her life?

The more that I think about it, the more that I suspect that her future in-laws are more concerned about the marriage and long-term situation of their son/brother than the Disney wedding itself.

OP, please be sure to update this thread after the wedding to let us know how it went. It would also be great to update in a couple of years to see if the Disney magic is still alive and well in your marriage. I truly hope that you will be able to tell all the nay-sayers that everything is rosy and bright and your wedding and marriage really was and continues to be a fairy tale dream.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2014, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,255 posts, read 8,327,423 times
Reputation: 20142
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsaLover2 View Post
Not to be that person (and I didn't want to say this) but our guests don't have problems with money and don't care. My family lives for events like this. Feedback has been positive, plane tickets bought and everything is good. If it wasn't, someone would have to face my mama and she can be one scary lady. Lol.

Also, I'd like to say I never realized how much judgment people have over weddings. I try not to ever criticize any woman over her special day though I have seen some tacky ones in my lifetime. I also don't think how much money someone spends defines their character. I could say someone who doesn't spend a lot of money on their wedding is a poor person who probably has six inch roots, trashy and doesn't love themselves. Is that true? NO. No way. And I don't think that. I think people should do what they want. But to say I'm selfish and all that just because I want a big wedding is insane. Some of ya'll need Jesus! (Kidding but holy cow)

One last note, in my family we spend a lot of money on events. It's a culture thing. Big birthday parties, weddings, reunions, etc. We like to party and we like to spend money. Nothing wrong with that.
Count me in as one who LOVES a destination wedding!!

I think they are fantastic.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2014, 12:56 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,465,369 times
Reputation: 64033
Does anyone think the little princess's penchant for indulgence will be subdued after the wedding? "It's what we do, it's our culture!"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2014, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,144 posts, read 45,694,157 times
Reputation: 61862
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsaLover2 View Post
I'm back! No I didn't abandon the thread- I'm a new member so it takes a while for my responses to post? It took six hours for someone to approve my main post and by then I had logged off!

A lot of you are asking who's paying for the wedding. My parents are paying half and my husband and I are paying the other half. My parents also bought my dress and any other additional costs that come up, they said they would take care of but so far we're good to go! With the Honeymoon my Fiance's mom offered to pay for the plane tickets to where we decide to go. So that's how that's all being split up

We won't have any debt. Actually the only thing we planned to put on credit cards are vendors that don't accept other forms of payment and some of our trip. But that's all been taken care of.

I do love my fiance. I could marry him in city hall in a paper bag if he wanted to. In my family, we all have semi-large weddings and we all go a bit crazy. My mom has planned my wedding almost as long as I have (though she likes plantation type weddings the best). We're Tennessee people so maybe that's why? Of course it's important to me and he knows that. Before I even mentioned wedding planning he'd told me he'd do whatever I wanted to make it the day I dreamed about. I have a lot of family and friends so to have them all there, watching me get married is exciting Anyway, big weddings aren't always for the "entitled" it depends on the culture. In my family we have big weddings and celebrations (my older sister would agree that I am spoiled though!)

On the destination travel issue: No matter where I marry this would be an issue as the family is spread out. No one else has a problem with the costs. We're having an open bar and a breakfast in addition to a dinner so we're trying to provide as much as we can for our guests. We paid for my SIL's bridesmaid dress and my family offered to buy plane tickets for F's family. They have no excuse to not get their lazy butts up and come. I'm frustrated feeling like I have bent over backwards for people who don't like me. It's stressful and that's why I asked for advice here.
Ok so, I see the OP has clarified a few things. Her family likes big lavish weddings, and can afford to give her one. They are even footing the bills for those who cannot afford it.
Given this information, it seems that the grooms family is just jealous. My advise for OP is to always be polite and respectful, even when they do not deserve it, and do not share personal financial information with them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2014, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,255 posts, read 8,327,423 times
Reputation: 20142
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Ok so, I see the OP has clarified a few things. Her family likes big lavish weddings, and can afford to give her one. They are even footing the bills for those who cannot afford it.
Given this information, it seems that the grooms family is just jealous. My advise for OP is to always be polite and respectful, even when they do not deserve it, and do not share personal financial information with them.
That is exactly what I took away from this that the groom's family is jealous.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2014, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,862 posts, read 6,878,823 times
Reputation: 7349
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
That is exactly what I took away from this that the groom's family is jealous.
Perhaps they are just more fiscally responsible and find prospective bride's plans not in the groom's best interest.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2014, 02:04 PM
 
Location: NYC
1,723 posts, read 3,378,953 times
Reputation: 2884
It wouldn't upset me if one of my DIL's parents had more money than my husband and I. For all I know, they might.
I wouldn't be jealous that they could afford a lavish wedding, but I'd be offended if they offered to pay our way to get there. I wouldn't want to be thought of as the poor relations, or a charity case.

I'd definitely go because it would be the marriage of my son and his wife even if it hurt me financially.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top